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Show NOT SOARING. "I never heard of yon as having the slightest chance for a presidential boom." "No," replied Senator Sorghum. "I know my limitations, and 1 am not discontented. dis-contented. Most unyhody can get beat for a nomination to high ollice, but It takes a pretty good line of ability and luck to hold on to moderate distinction distinc-tion term after term." Sentiment. The Mistress Mary, whut is that old paint-pot doing on the corner shelf? The Cook It belongs to the man who worked here last spring. The Mistress You may throw it away. ' The Cook I'll do nothing of the sort, mum.- It's till I have to remember remem-ber him by. Puck. Adapted to the Case. "She finds fault with every present pres-ent that is sent her." "That's the reason why I gave her a polite hint in mine. I sent her a knocker." . - THE LAST Jrm word. l f 4K woman al- V'Litifsj wa-ys has the last MiUnv I Not always' ItJ j J V ill W i ( Sometimes she " yL condescends t o ' m ' i ) 'et a man write It Pit.Ji.if rr as the signature J lJ to a check. . Great Luck. He chuckles and his smile is bland, With joy he'd like to holler; His wife went through his pockets, and" She overlooked a dollar. Undoubtedly. "Did you see where an insulation made from milk curds has been Invented?" In-vented?" "That certainly ought to make its whey.' A Wily Husband. "Mother, what is propaganda?" "Propaganda, child, is the bunch of compliments your father pays me on my old hat, when he knows I am thinking think-ing of a new one." Life. Self-Evident. "My girl's a dream. Slip's pretty, a good cook and is very quiet." "Then you needn't tell me she's a dream if she's all that." Even They Are Dangerous. "He's a man of few words." "That so?" "Yep but even those few words very often get him into trouble." House Cleaning. Myrt I told Cholly that his brain was dusty. (iert Gee, whaddee do kid? Myrt lie shook his head. jl iip? PROHIBITIVE. "Do you cast your bread upon the waters." "Not since it's 10 cen!s a loaf." The Glad Hand. believe you're only acting Your love is merely a play." "If I act so well, won't you give me A hand in the usual way?" An Undesirable Job. Toiler Out o' work? Well, try the boss Inside. He ain't bad. The hours ire short, the work ain't hard, an' the pay's good. Applicant No good to me. There ain't nothln' lo strike about. London. Tit-Bits. Settling the Difficulty. Angry Father If my son marries that burlesque actress 1 sha'l cut him iff without a cent, ami you can tell lim so. Lawyer There's no use bothering V him; I'll tell the actress, Town Topes. Top-es. Uncomplimentary. Beit Your hair is always so beau- rll'ully dressed, you must devote i ?reat (leal of attention to it. Nell Yes, I niut confess my head is my chief weakness. |
