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Show SCRAPS H1M0R js I.:. ... v1JTOr HE WANTED TO KNOW. A piirly of Americans was being conducted over the ancient abbey in one of our famous old towns. The learned attendant pointed out the ages of the various parts, and referring to one arch In particular, said, "That arch may. possibly go hack to William the ,'on(ueror." "Don't you like It?" promptly asked one of the sightseers. The attendant signified that he did not understand. "Well, why are yon sending It hack, anyway?" was the reply. "Don't It unit you?" London Tit-Bits. Something. The College I'.oy Dad, I wish you'd spare ine a hundred. Ills Father It's outrageous. You're twenty and you've never made any-Uiing any-Uiing for yourself. The College I!oy Reg pardon, sir, but I always make my own cigarettes. SOMETHING LEARNED EVERY DAY. Frank Poor Jones! He has lost all his money in a wild-cat mining . company. Ethel Mercy! I didn't know you had to mine for wild cats. At Rehearsal. "What ails the sailors' chorus, pray?" For there was quite a hitch. The manager replied: "Why, sir. The tars can't get the pitch!" Cartoons Magazine. Very Likely. Jinks The paper states that Bilson died from a complication of diseases. Blinks That's wrong. He died from a complication of doctors. He had six. TACT OF WIVES. Mrs. W. A tactful wife keeps many little household secrets from her husband. Mrs. B. Yes; even the fact that ghe has all the brains. Epitaph. Here lies a miser Who would not repent: ! He died lamenting His breath must be spent. Running No Chances. Wifey You knew I had friends coming to the house tills evening. What do you mean by coming home an hour after they've all gone? Hubby I wanted to be sure they'd all left. May Be So. Miss Knowsitt He's very rich now, but I hear he started in life as a grave digger. Miss Kutting I guess that's the reason rea-son why the daughter is so anxious to have the past buried. Political Gossip. "I spoke in favor of good roads." "And what did your opponent say to that?" "He immediately spoke in favor of better roads. That fellow Is a shrewd, dangerous man." |
