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Show I . IN AN OBSERVATION 1 PLANE Hy tcTTOW is your league for war op- Hij A erating?" 1 inquired of Dr. B. Hi A. Nutt, who handed mo a copy of H' j his peace treaty and asked me to sup- Hi l port it editorially. H "Fine," he replied. "Everybody is H "for war. You might as well ask the H human race to abolish the movies as H to abolish war. Europe liked the last HI KpT war so well that it is fighting another. H The Bolshevik! like war so well that H' i J , they want to spread it all over the H , ! world. Everybody talks for peace and H, j is for war." H I "I fear, doctor, that you are sland- H 1 ering poor human nature," I said. "All Hi of us really desire peace and happl- H j ness. The horrors of war appall us. H I . We are willing to do anything to have H I peace." H ( "Except one thing," interjected the I doctor. "And what is that?" "We won't stop fighting. The war fever is spreading. The Bolsheviki are trying to force war on Poland, Hungary, Rumania, Czecho-Slovakia, The Japanese are trying to lay the Hf foundations of a war with the United H States and they don't want the peace I treaty so framed as to interfere with it. The Egyptians are forcing war on the British and the British are forcing it back. The Jugo-Slavs are forcing war on the Italians and the Italians are accepting with delight, while pretending pre-tending to be poved. And when things get too quiet Villa goes to war agin." "Villa Ib dead," I said. "Yes, even the dead men make war," said the doctor with a laugh. This levity about such a serious subject sub-ject oppressed me and I attempted to shift conversation to a somewhat dif-H dif-H ferent basis. H "The peace conference seems to be H making progress slowly," I said. I "The purpose," replied the doctor, I "of going slow is to stir up as many IH wars as possible for the entertain ment of mankind." "Bah!" I said angrily, "your spirit of satire leads you to deride even . the purest of motives Vll of the statesmen states-men are doing their to secure an early peace." "They are fighting hard for it," replied re-plied the doctor. "Every statesman is fighting to get something besides peace." I "And what may that be," I asked. "Plunder." "Of course, you are wrong," I said with heat. "There never was such an altruistic conference. There never was a peace council that was attempting attempt-ing to do so much for humanity." "That, is one point upon which there is perfect agreement," said the doctor. "I am glad to hear you say that; glad that you are seeing the light," I said, relenting toward this bitter critic. "Yes, they all want something done for humanity',' responded the doctor," and they want George to do it." "Who is this George to whom you allude?" al-lude?" I asked with dignity. "The United States." "I am sure they are all doing their best for the sake of humanity," I said firmly, even severely. "Quite so," said the doctor with a smile that bore the trace of a sneer." Great Britain won't join any League 'of Nations that takes'away her supremacy supre-macy on the sea. France won't join a league that takes away from her the Saar basin, rich in coal mines. Great Britain wants the greatest navy for the sake of humanity. France wants all it can get for the sake of humanity. Italy wants Fiume, the isles of Greece and other odds and ends for the sake of humanity. But they prefer that the real sacrifices be made by the United States. They argue that the United States Is used to sacrificing and can do it more gracefully grace-fully than they." "What are we asked to sacrifice?" I asked. "The Monroe doctrine," said the doctor. doc-tor. "We are asked to give up the policy which has protected the American Ameri-can continent for a century and prevented pre-vented wars of agression. And In exchange ex-change Europe offers us a long series of European wars so that we can keep on doing something for the sake of humanity. Our friends don't want us to get out of practice. They say, 'Keep on doing something for humanity; its very entertaining.' "I suppose you know how to amend the league covenant," I said, sarcastically. sarcastic-ally. "All our great statesmen do." "I have framed amendments that will cure all the defects of the covenant," cove-nant," he replied. "Keep it up for the sake of humanity," humani-ty," I said. "It is very entertaining." From his portfolio the little doctor deftly extracted a small sheet of type written paper and began to read. "No. 1. Strike out all of article 10. "No. 2. Amend the various articles by striking out the words 'high contracting con-tracting parties' and substitute the words 'highbinder parties.' ' "No. 3. Add to article 14 a provision provi-sion calling the powers together every five years to laugh at themselves. "No. 4. Repeal the covenant altogether alto-gether and throw it in the waste basket bas-ket as a sign of good faith." I gasped with astonishment and, when I had somewhat recovered my equanimity, said: "But what is the purpose of the first three amendments if, in the last so-called so-called amendment, you eliminate the covenant altogethr?" "All great statemen," said the doctor, doc-tor, "have presented a number of amendments and naturally I do not consider a single amendment enough. Do you?" "Quito enough," I replied. "Quite enough." I had been so much interested, or rather I had been so much irritated by the doctor's cavalier way of flouting flout-ing the sacred covenent of the nations, that I had forgotten his treaty of peace. It was a typewritten document of many pages and as it seemed voluminous I asked the doctor to outline to me its main features. "It is not the customary treaty of peace," said the doctor. "Its purpose is to promote peace." "That seems customary," I said. "Not at all," replied the doctor warmly. "Most treaties of peace are designed to promote war." "I thought you said you were for war," I challenged coldly. "Oh, dear no," replied the doctor, with a trace of weariness. "I meant that everybody seemed to be eager for fighting everybody except myself." my-self." "And how would you promote peace," I said. "By eliminating the causes of war," he replied. "Naturally," I said. "The statesmen of Europe are trying to do that very thing. They are going to define new borders for the various people. They are going to give Jugo-Slavia to the Jugo-Slavs, Czecho-Slovakia to the Czecho-Slovaks, Rumanians to Rumania, Ruma-nia, Poland to the Poles " "And Ireland to the Irish," said the doctor. "What do you propose?" I Inquired. "In my treaty," said the doctor, "the high contracting parties agree to cut out all mce distinctions, to eliminate all disputes over religion, to make peace between capital and labor, to settle all differences of opinion between be-tween conservatives and radicals, to convert all bandits and anarchists to right ways of living, to cure murderers and thieves, to suppress the ambitious, ambiti-ous, to kill all who teach that war is a human necessity, to eliminate all Bin and disease tvnd to extract all selfishness selfish-ness from the hearts of men." "Ha! Ha!" I laughed: "That's another an-other of your amendments. You want to repeal human nature." "That's about tho only way you can stop war and preserye peace," said the doctor.' j |