OCR Text |
Show Passing Chimes By James Barton Adams. The Queen of Siam claims to have the smallest feet of any titled lady on earth. The word "titled" will bar all protests from Chicago. It may interest the ladies to learn that fashion has decreed the return to tight lacing. The undertakers under-takers may also be interested. It is stated that the Democratic candidate for governor of Iowa neither drinks, smokes, nor swears. He must have gotten into the party by sneaking over the back fence. Old Adam sure escaped one care That worries modern day mankind; His simple wifey didn't wear A waist that buttoned up behind.. The Boston school authorities have ordered that the rattan be used only on the hands of boy pupils. As no restrictions have been placed upon the schoolmarm's slipper it is presumed that it will continue to do business at the old stand. Edwin Stevens of Washington says that all the cities of the earth will be destroyed by earthquakes earth-quakes in 1982. The only worry this causes us is aroused by the fear that the graceful contour ot our graves may be marred. The "movement to erect a monument to Poca-honta's Poca-honta's would succed if the interest of the Smiths of the land could be arohsed. Where would they be if she had not saved the original John? History is repeating itself. A learned professor profes-sor has made the discovery that ages ago man was ruled by woman. Short-armed lovers will be pleased to learn that fashion has decreed the wasp waist for women wo-men during the winter season. If a puckerless persimmon could be produced, fewer Arkansas gals would be seen wandering around in the rustic wilds in autumn looking like they were inviting kisses. Chicagoans who go to a Turkish bathhouse to sweat out a jag are now required to register, A page of that register must present an array of uninterpretable hieroglyphics that would make a Chinese almanac shed its leaves. It is feared the Nebraska Populists have "went back" on Bryan. There wasn't a display of whiskers whis-kers in the bunch of "home folks" who went to New York to welcome him. When music, heavenly maid, was young. We note by reading ancient lore, No wild profanity was sprung Upon her by the folk next door, Nor were her notes, that' breathed of heaven, |