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Show j THE EX-SHOW GIRL'S SCRAP WITH M OBADIAH. I 1 1 Scene The telephone switchboard in the lob- ! L ! i by of a Broadway hotel. 1 s Characters The Telephone Girl and Mrs. : I : Smith, an ex-show girl. , ',: 1 The Telephone Girl (as Mrs. 'Smith greets her jjsi with a languid kiss) Gee, Myrtle, what's the j.'fji matter with yuh're lamp? Looks like yuh and 1 1 ; ' f Obadiah's been havin' a mix-up. j j Mrs. Smith S-sh ! Fer mercy sakes don't let . j 1 them bellhops hear yuh, Annabelle! Me an' Oba- ! I ; diah did come tughether yestidday, but say! yuh ! I : oughta see what he looks like, dear. On the ' ! I level, I give him a paste in the jaw with the cof- I I fee-pot that'll mean he kin loosen up and buy a j I coupla noo teeth, you bet but I'll tell yuh the J ji whole thing honest tuh Gawd I'm nearly daffy If with not a sociable person tuh talk to among j w them Harlem dames up where we live. He knew j M well enough that I ust tuh be in the purf ession, an' ; : IE o' course it was a cinch I was goin' tuh ast a few i ' WB of my friends tuh stop in at our caffy, if they ; was playin' 125 th Street anytime. Well, two of b my old pals, that's as perfect gents as any that p shine I'm harnesed tuh ever seen, if they are acrobats, are playin' in the olio at the Gotham I f: this week, an' every night they been stoppin' in ; ji after the show, and kinda talkin' over old times, ' lit an' I'd ast 'em tuh have a quart o' fiz to let 'em , m, see I didn't leave the business tuh hook up with ' H no dead one. ' f Last night they brought in the manager of the ! ' show, who's a real nice fella, and I told the bar- H keep tuh send two quarts up stairs to the flat, an' K there that cheap dope that I kept Obadiah from B throwin' out after he caught him holdin' out on ; I us just because he seemed refined an' mixed ele- '( fl gant drinks he goes and puts Obadiah next! Mt An' me not expectin' him home for two hours. ! H He comes right in like a low sneak when I'm showin' 'em the dance I learnt from Mille d'e Leon honest tuh Gawd the fuss some folks made over that dance on the Pike gives me a pain 'cause this one well, anyway, Mike Burk he does the comedy in their act was sayin', "Well, here's how, old girl it's lucky you copped the old sucker!" when Obadiah rushed in. "I'll throw these hams outa here, madam!" he hollars, but they beat him tuh the door, and sfciddoed. Then he turns on me, an' gets fresh and I ups with the silver coffee-pot I jus.t know he swiped "at the last place he was butler on Fifth avenoo, an' kisses him in the mug with it. He took the floor for his, but he did get in one lam at me when he was fallin' the ungen-tlemanly ungen-tlemanly brute! I went up tuh my friend, Gracie, the manicure, an' stayed all night an' tuh day. The Telephone Girl 'Scuse me, Myrtle! (In phone)Hello! Yes, 4-11-44! Hello! hello! Whatchu want? Your wife? Why, yuh oughta be ashamed tuh ast, Mr. Smith shut up, Myrtle, Myr-tle, till I rag him! yes, she's here here, Myrtle, quick, take it on this 'phone them booths is full Mrs. Smith (in 'phone) Hello! I AM close to the 'phone! Obadiah Smith, I gotta mind tuh have you pinched fur soakin' me WHY don't yuh speak plain? Yuh're teeth! Gee, I'm darned glad of it no, I won't! I'll see all the vod'veel performers I wanta, see? Well, will yuh buy me that pearl ring an' take me tuh Sherry's tuhnight? An' fire that barkeep. I don't care what I said when yuh fired him before! be-fore! Will yuh beg them actors' pardon? Obadiah, Oba-diah, don't yuh curse in this 'phone! yuh will? Kin I ride home in an automobile? An', say, if I do, will yuh kill yuh're canary bird? I'm yuh're pet; you cut that out; you don't need no bird, see? Yuh will? Honest tuh Gawd? Well, then, Obadiah, I'll come home! Goo'-by! Gee, j i MmmimMMHMMi Myrtle, I got him goin'! Darn that bird an' that 1 barkeep, I'll fix 'em! Hey, there, boy, call an automobile fur me at the FRONT door, yuh lobster! not no ladies' entrance just let these here pikers getta flash at a real lady fur onct! Goo'-bye, Annabelle come up an' see us! (Curtain.) New York Telegraph. |