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Show Hy Dunnlefj. A Few Chips From The Kitty. A miss is as good as a mile, A kiss is as good as a smile; But three little kings Are the beautiful things That build up tho celluloid pile. Anonymous. "You know I just hate notoriety, and somehow some-how I can't escape it," said Hyrum, as he crowded a Silver King dividend check in his lower waistcoat pocket. "I suppose you noted the contents of a certaiu article which appeared about me some days ago in which I threw a few bunches of molten mol-ten lava at Miss Van Stuttering. Well, that was I wholly uncalled for, and I've been expecting daily to hear from that young lady's brother. If the newspapers of the country are going to force my name in print "every time a swell heiress goes crazy about me, they'll have to hire extra talent, I because I'm one of those guys who 'loves and rides away,' and you can't tell anything about the next heart smashed till you hear the crash. "I was conversin' with Mrs. Leslie Carter once she was complainin' of notoriety same as 1 was. She said she had to do everything very quietly quiet-ly because the newspaper men hawked her constantly, con-stantly, and that in fact David Tobasco had forbidden for-bidden her to show any signs of life on that account. ac-count. 'I can see,' she sez to me, 'what a beautiful character is submerged somewhere down deep in jour system, but I can readily understand that your innate modesty won't let it get a play. I'll bet you'd be a good man to a woman, but there I again that modesty holds you down.' "There at last was a woman who understood me, and I thought of the little home that some day might be ours, and wondered if in the years to come, when my collar button rolled under the dresser would it oh, would it be hers? - "Speaking of notoriety, I'm sorry I wasn't here fer the debut of the Senator. Of course I'd have been there the first night, fer as I understand it, the city directory (with six exceptions) was cut Bin the middle and the first part of the alphabet went the first night, and the last half the second. Well, sir, my missin' that made me sorer than a goat. As I understand it, it was a wine crowd, and you know me. This slave life on the rattlers is worse 'en drivin' a hack and you know it. "Was you ever plotted against by your friends? Say, ain't it the limit to trust a man oven to room-in' room-in' with him an' then have him turn. John invited in-vited me to a function the other evenln', tellin' me that no bets over 25 cents would be received, and me in my innocence accepted his hospitality. When we got to this party I met a gent called Mickey, who said he wasn't qualified to participate partici-pate much but would try. We hadn't waltzed mor'en ten minutes when two couldn't play, and it was a "jack." John opened and I stayed and raised, and so did Mickey, eo did John, and I and Mickey and again and again. I held before me three aces and a king, and I knew they couldn't beat it. I'd hate to tell you all I was goin' to buy with the money. Then the draw and I caught my king. Well, in comparison, takin' candy from children was a pipe. I bet, John raised, Mickey raised. We were all in. I reached for the sea of blue, wonderin' why those chumps hadnt' quit. 'Pardon,' said Mickey, 'this for tho good kind dealer, and oh, anguish, oh Corianton, tho gent exhibited four sevens. But John forgot, I owe him room rent." |