Goodwin's Weekly | 1902-09-06 | Page 11 | "All is Not Water That's Wet"

"All is not Water That's Wet." Text "All is not water that's wet." In view 0f tlio fact that the city and county officials and other distinguished citizons are going out this morning to the Big Hole pumping station as the guests of Superintendent Eugene Carroll to inspect in-spect the water plant and the new pump, Rev. jerr Rounder at the Tabernacle last evening gave a few hints to the members of his congregation on tlie subject of water. The preacher said: "Water has been known from the very earliest tinHH. Some of you are not as well acquainted with it as I would like to see you, but that is not the fault of the water. When our ancestral rhizo-pods rhizo-pods swung on the gates in the gloaming and madf love to our primordial protoplasms, ages and ages ago, there was water there. There was watrr before there was ever dry land, and I suppose sup-pose if it hadn't been that water kindly receded and sat down to give the land a shake, we might all have developed into mermen and mermaids instead in-stead of into land men and land women and have had to play baseball in the water and bet on races between dolphins instead of horses. "Everybody ought to respect water on account of its great antiquity if for nothing else. It is one of the oldest friends man has. I know that many llare extremely prejudiced against water, and for years I was down on it myself, because in early lldays a friend of mine was drowned by it. But there are times when nothing seems quite to take Htho place of water. There are mornings when nothing else will quench thirst. A man may swear Hoft' on water and make up his mind that he will never again become addicted to the water habit, but the more he tries other things and the more of the other things he tries, the more he will want water and the more water he will want. "Water is like a good many people in the world H it lacks appreciation. If it was scarce it would be bottled up like champagne and sold at fabulous prices. It is not appreciated only because it is so plentiful. The prejudice against water began in Noah's time. If it rained beer for forty days and forty nights nobody would drink beer. "It is a wise man who knows good water when he sees it. There have been years in Butte when the only good water we got was a water picnic. In the earlier days the pioneers of Butte never thought anything about water except as something to get out of when umbrellas were scarce. With advancing civilization people arrived who claimed that water was good to drink as well as to wash in. The people who came to this camp in Pullman Pull-man cars were" not satisfied with what the town had, but insisted on having water to drink. So we decided that if there was anything Butte didn't have, it must be had, and if other people could stand water we could. Scientists and water ex-perts ex-perts were brought here at great expense to ex-( ex-( Hamlne the creeks and springs in the mountains in . Butte's vicinity and ascertain whether they were t composed of real water or not. Great excursions J H"a part of which I was went forth to various Bpoints about Butte on a hunt for water. Hj "After we began to get water and began to 3 learn to drink it we were sometimes harassed by watei experts and savants from distant States, who jBwoul. claim that the water which was furnished , Butte was not real water at all, but was full of Hcraw' ng tnlngs. This prejudiced us against wa-' wa-' Mter a once and set back the era of water drink- lnB i. Butte many years. When we became very e "Ubic s on the matter of the water we would have 1 watei picnics out to the reservoir to see how the 'watei was getting on, if it was water, and see if 'tAVD still there anyway, whatever it was. On e tnese water picnics the water company invariably d succec ded in convincing the city officials and the 1 otnei that it was all right it was wet anyway. LtH "B lt Butte is at last supplied with real water. 1 At le-st visitors have come to Butte and drank p and not made any remarks afterward. The effects also are similar to the effects produced by water in other cities. At last we have an abundant abun-dant supply of real water, and can look with pitying pity-ing eye on the struggles of Helena and Denver and other cities which are still in the throes of the water question. "To those who are about to go forth on this water excursion a few serviceable maxims might be given, the product of the experience of water picnics held during the past ten or twelve years: "Don't mix your samples." "If you should forget to sample the water after you get out there, remember that there will be some in town when you get back. "If the samples don't come fast enough on the train to the Big Hole, remember there is a short wait at Silver Bow Junction. "Beware of too much water. Remember Noah and the ark. "Save a little water for the next morning. You may need it. "Don't try to create a water famine. Leave a little of the water to be pumped to the dear folks at home. "When in doubt call it water. "Don't be too anxious to convince all the others oth-ers in the party that you know water when you see it. Excessive knowledge breeds suspicion. Don't get hoggish; there's booze enough for all. "When you return to Butte don't got angry if people look at you with suspicious eyes. They are bound to think it whether you are or not. "If the town looks strange to you when you get back don't lay it to the town." Butte Miner.