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Show MADE HIM SINC1. A Loveland young nun they called 111 Once filled himself up on prune pic; It brought him mich joy That he natig "Ship Ahov" And "Wait Till the Clouds Roll Uy." Denver Post SPARRING. "Pa, how big is n whnlo?" "Phwnt kolnd av n wha-ale?" "A large whole?" "Um-how lark'e?"-Life. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. Bacon "Did you say It was n caso of love at flrst sight?" Egbert "Yes; he saw her In thu bank with a fist full of big blllsi"-Yonkcrs blllsi"-Yonkcrs Statesman. BREAK EVEN. Intelligent foreigner "Your President Presi-dent seems to have a great many of what you call fool friends." Intelligent Native "Yes, but he has Just as many fool enemies, and they offset each other." Chicago Tribune. AN EXTRA FIT. Mrs. Do Style "Got your new Easter East-er gown, I see. Well, did your dressmaker dress-maker give you a fit?" Mrs. Van Nobb "Yes, and she gave my husband one, too. You should have seen him when he Inspected the J.111',"? fTif STi" - 7fM-ff .t- EXPLAINED. .?IT.. "Say, papa," queried the sweet girl graduate, "what Is your definition of tho term 'womanly woman?' " "A womanly woman," replied the old man, "la ono who Is capable of manufacturing manu-facturing a pie like your grandmother used to turn out" Chicago News. THRIFT. "Estellc, that Is an abominably cooked steak. You cau cook better than that" , "Ob, but mother," expostulated the young wife, "If I cook my best Harold will eat It all and there will be nothing Jeft over for croquettes and things." !in "No, havo you?" Ally Sopor. SURE OF niMSELF. "I'll glvo you a position as clerk to start with," said tho merchant, "and pay you what you aro .worth. Is that satisfactory?" "Oh, perfectly," replied the college graduate, "but er do you think tho Arm can afford It?" Philadelphia Public Pub-lic Ledger. KNEW WOMAN NATURE. "Jim," said tho department store manager, "you know that lot of ladles' openwork stockings left over from last lummer?" "Yes, sir." "Mark 'em up fifty per cent, and label la-bel 'em 'Common Sense Whiter Ho-ilery.' Ho-ilery.' " Louisville Courier-Journal. WHERE THE SHOE PINCnED. Jerry-"Why did Stella break her tngagemcnt with you?" Torn "Merely because I stolo a kiss." "She must bo crazy, to object to hav-tng hav-tng her ilanceo steal a kiss from Iter." "Oh, I didn't steal It from her."-rranslnted her."-rranslnted For Talcs From Famllle-Journal. Famllle-Journal. ONE WOMAN'S WISDOM. no "Will you bo my wife?" She "Pardon mo, but how many clubs do you belong to?" He "I belong lo six, but " Sho "Thon I'll take a chance. You'll probably be away from homo so much that It won't lnconvenlcnco too." Chicago News. nER REASON. "At our church fair tho other evening," even-ing," said Miss Woodby, affecting a matter-of-fact tone. "I met Miss Roxte 8wcllman nud " "Oh," Interrupted Miss Koox, "I never speak to her!" "Ah! you know her, then?" "No, that's tho reason I never speak to her." Philadelphia Press. POOR BIRD. "Archibald," said tho young wife nt breakfast, "there Is n superstition that cuckoo clocks aro unlucky. Do you think tho ono I hung up in your office unlucky?" "Very unlucky, Indeed," answered her husbaud, with a faraway smile. "But you haven't had any bad luck In tho last few days, have you?" "No, but tho cuckoo has. When ho started! 'cuckooing while I was talking through tho 'phone, I Just pulled out my revolver nnd blew his head off." Chicago News. |
