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Show JOHN JJENRY I PLAYS POOL i By HUGH McMUGH H GEORGE. Y. HOB ART 1 B. "UNDKll A CHOSS-FIHB FHOM Til 11 CHAlH-WAn.MHHS." I Did you ever drop In of nn ovenlng and try to play pool under a crossfire !rom tho chatr-warmers? It's the limit. It has golf slapped to a stnndtttll, tnd pony polo isn't one, two, nine. From the moment you reach for your cue tha sofa-pounders cut loose nnd chin you to a call-down. "Breaw Icra easy, now!" says old Thirsty Bill. All the afternoon he's been siting up with some Ice and a bottle of Wilson. inat's ail. He has to close one eye nnd squint the other when he looks at you, tut he's as wise as a weasel. If you stood him up he wouldn't know the 14 ball from tho cuspidor. One of those old dubs that's nefer happy unless he's teasing his throat with booze or talk. Then Red Necktie rolls his barrel in tho shop and cuts a conundrum: "Why don't you play tho 8 ball In the side?" Red Necktlo only played one game In his life nnd that was tag. Somebody caught hlra then with the goods, and nil he has dono slnco Is cud-ale cud-ale down In a chair and tell peoplo how to mako fancy with the cue. Then tho three Blxby Brothers-Shine, Brothers-Shine, Polish and Glisten start In to write epigrams. "Play the round ball!" suggests Shine. "Chalk your feet and you won't slip!" observes Polish. "Play the yellow ball in the cozy corner!" chirps Glisten, and old Thirsty Thirs-ty Bill lnughs bo heartily over this Pinerolsm that Glisten swells up and buys Thirsty another tub. Then Long-haired Lemuel crawU under the ropes-and begins to offer suggestions sug-gestions in, a hoarse whisper. Long-haired Lemuel won a fifty-point game once from tho champion player ot Tioga County and ever slnco he's been sitting up in the rack throwing down .hints to tho slow walkers. "Try the combination on the 7-bnll for the corner!" croaks Long-haired Lemuol. Now the gag Is that from whero Lemuel Lem-uel sits you couldn't soo the 7-ball 'with the Lick telescope. In hops Willie McSweet, tbo Village Beauty. Willie Is the lad with the lott full of light conversation, nnd Mama lets him stay out till 9:15 every evening. Wlillo traveled ovor the New York Central onco ns far as Albany and when he enmo homo his fond parents, had to put baseball maskB on his .head, fore and nft, to keop It from bursting. "Ah!" says Willie; "playing pool?" "No," remarks Glisten, '"they're putting put-ting up n picket fence!" nnd old Thirsty "THIRSTY BILU" BUI bands out a laugh which nets him another dipper. Then there's the Mister Man you're playing with. I was entered In a handicap that evening even-ing with a chap named Diddle. Diddle Is one of tlioso low, comedians who throw out cntch-llnos and wait for the laugh. His line ot gags dates back to the days when the B. & O. was first built. Nowndays when I hear n pool-room comedlun speaking lines about getting seasick on the B. & O. I'm wise to tho fact that ho dips in tho Farmer's Almanac Al-manac for his comedy stuff. Diddle likes to knock. He BuyB he'd rather be Alan Dale than be Prosldent, because Dale can throw the hammer and get back to hit safety dopo.lt vaults without a scratch. Ho says it's a cinch to be dramatic toaster and trimmer when you can bide In tho tall grass and do your knocking through a long-distance ' newspaper. Anywny, that's neither here nor thero. ''What are you playing for?" I said to Biddle. "The ball I'm looking at," ha an-warad. Thore's n slight difference of opinion m between Blddlo's eyes they havo oppo- site points of views, ns It were. m I figured It out that the ball he was looking nt was the one Thirsty Bill was I fondling, but I didn't say anything. I I was duo to hear u loud holler from I the old 'tin If Blddlc played that ball. I "What Is It now?" I Inquired. "The ono.I hit!" Did you ever meet one of tlioso follows fol-lows who snys: '"Tho one I hit," and H then smashes In to soven balls and claims everything drops? Don't they Jolt you? By this time Thirsty Bill had all bit lights up. He had the borders burning and a calcium "spot" followed him around. "Can shu play com'nashun on zal pink monkey ash scttln' on green ball?" he asked; and then he went down and I put up my cut and blue penciled the Pool is a great game, but the chair- crouchcrs put crcpo on it. (Copyright, by O. W. Dillingham Co.) |