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Show Thanksgiving 2007 THE RIVALRY Reasons to give BYU a try U We nfortunately, I don't possess even one unbiased bone in my body when it comes to Brigham Young University. Really, not a single bone. Even my coccyx is no fan of the Cougar. It's difficult to remain objective when writing about why the U is superior to BYU, especially when one is physically incapable of doing so. I want to be fair and view the schools on the same level, and yet I am biologically wired to abhor the Y with an intense passion usually exhibited by devoted followers of Muhammad or Comic-Con. I've been asked to give my opinion on why an education from BYU is the largest waste of time and money in the Intermountain Region. Not only have I been waiting my entire life to write such a column, but unbeknownst to many, I was actually predestined by God, Gitchi Manitou and/or Oprah to do so. I truly wish I didn't hate BYU. Preordination, however, doesn't play favorites. I should confess that a large fe must remember to not be bitter toward those who choose to make a "backwards relocation/'a "regressive migration" or a "transfer from the U to BYU." RYAN SHATTUCK part of any angst I might feel toward even visiting BYU—aside from the fact that more damned souls are found at the corner of Bulldog Boulevard and West Campus Drive than in the Hebrew underworld Sheol—is due to the fact that I once attended BYU as a student many years ago. How docs a person decide to move to Provo and attend the University of Backup-in-CaseGuantanamo-Bay-is-FuU only to later transfer to the U? Is there an "Aha!" moment for other north-bound transfer students (many of whom still suffer from Stockholm Syndrome)? I'm assuming there are also reasons a student might transfer from that noble institute of education in Salt Lake City to f/ f?- ^ ; ^ j - that behemoth of backwardness in Provo. True, many of the students who transfer from BYU are willing to face Dormer Party-esque challenges (hold the cholera, pass the dysentery) that will pepper their path to the U. Regardless, I'm willing to accept that there are reasons students might actually transfer from the U to BYU. In the spirit of being fair and balanced (replace "fair and balanced" with "unprejudiced and pragmatic" if threatened with a lawsuit), I figure there must be some motivation See SHATTUCK Page 28 r; •••? by Reducing Your GHG CO2 Emissions VfcICOH& TO BYU1* mm OF TH5 1450**... vtewt |
