| Show zaLtstifr&iiJk SWISS banks created funds for Holocaust survivors to atone for war profiteering and for denying dews and their descendants access to their own deposits Riva Sefere of Latvia got $400 ' Best Name Game From The Herald-Ma- il (Hagerstown Md) a war going on in Scaggsville upscale newcomers farm families over the towns name The new suburbanites dont like the name Scaggsville and want to rename it Rocky Gorge Scaggsville sounds so hickish said one of the new residents Rocky Gorge just sounds nicer" But families who have lived here for generations think Scaggsville works just fine Scaggsville has always been Scaggsville Why change it? asked a longtime resident The reason more than anything else is real estate The former farming community with large barns and homey ranches is now sprinkled with new subdivisions filled with $300000 homes The subdivisions have names such as Chenry Tree Farm Cherry Creek and Hunters Creek The monikers were chosen by developers not local history Suffice to say that Scaggsville wouldn't have made the cut Theres between How about Scaggsville Gardens' ? Best Alternative Beauty Pageant From the Charleston (WVa) Oaily Mail NJ theres no swimsuit in this beauty pageant controversy Crab Night in Venice which featured hermit crabs captured top honors in the 22nd Miss Crustacean pageant The entry beat out 29 others including Taxi Crab and Crabs in Black to win the coveted Cucumber Rind Cup The pageant which started in 1975 as a way to tweak the Miss America pageant has become an annual rite of summer The hermit crabs are dressed up in all manner of outfits Ocean City bead-weari- We wonder who won Miss Congeniality for El Nino seemed Waiting e as like Californians got occupation for from the the onslaught Pacific ready full-tim- rose in the Persian Gulf after Saddam Hussein expelled American inspectors The USS Nimitz stood by T ensions UN Star Wars for Generation X The of the classic sci-- film made it the biggest moneymaker In US history fi Worst Bit of the Bard From Reuters 8 uliet is just a chick a girl who has I a lot of dramatic things happen in Ua short space of time" Claire Danes on her title role in the film William Shakespeares Romeo and Juliet And Claire Danes is just an actress who is still very young Worst Excuse From the Sunday (Omaha Neb) University of Iowa gave diplomas to 137 persons this on which the word university was misspelled An embarrassing if mildly amusing mistake But worse was the explanation given by a university representative who suggested that the diplomas might have been printed by a computer that lacks the capacity to check spelling Well bet that university representative makes sure the computer spells hi name correctly on his paychecks The Cura-B- n From the Far Eastern Economic Review Leonardo DiCaprio as Romeo woos Claire Danes in the flick about that chick dco Bsst News for Cotvs (Since Bis Chicago Bulls) From the Chicago Dally The Best News For Soup Eaters From The Washington World-Heral-d Worsl Restaurant -- following sign was seen at the of the Hibiscus Restaurant in Jakarta Hilton Interna- tional: It that made her volunteer a couple of hours unloading trucks in exchange for some canned goods and hunger that caused her to reach for the cream of asparagus soup a few days later But no matter how hard Jeanna Dodd tried she couldn't get the Campbells can open Suddenly the lid popped off and out spilled the contents: jewels gold silver rings a bracelet a Rolex watch I had just said I hope 1 can pay the rent Dodd 24 said This is like an answer from God The container of cream of asparagus soup was not a soup can at all but a replica used to hide valuables from burglars Apparently someone mistakenly donated it to a food bank Although she wanted to cash in on the cans Grill and Roast Your Clients! Open Post was worry about money that drove her to the Fairfax Va food bank pride Sunday Brunch Law Bulletin the article Did the Cow Do It? an Worst News for meters Richard F Bales raises some From the New York Daily News about the cause of the Great standing in a crowded someone sneezes and the Chicago Fire Bales spent hundreds of You're hours researching old land records slogthing you know you've gained ging through a handwritten transcript 25 pounds What happened? You caught of a government inquiry into the fire and the fat virus! other materials about the 1871 event Although the evidence is preliminary Convinced that neither Mrs O'Leary nor doctors believe some forms of obesity her cow was to blame for the Great Chimay in fact result from a mild respiraFire Bales make historiwants to The sciencago tory virus known as Ad-3- 6 ans consider other suspects (He believes tists revealed that they had tested the a neighbor named Daniel Peg Leg blood of 154 obese persons and comSullivan caused the fire Bales said the pared it to that of 45 thin persons While accusations of OLearys and her cows one in every six obese folks did have involvement may have spread through signs of exposure to Ad-3- 6 not one of horrors! inaccurate news reporting the skinny folks did Its moos to us Shouldn 1 they spell the virus "Add-3- 6 "? con- tents worth about $7000 Dodd waited to see if the real owners stepped forward And they for Lunch Dinner and In did A couple reading the morning paper suddenly discovered photos of their jewelry which they hadn't even realized was missing They claimed their valuables and gave Dodd $1000 and a set of gold earrings So there am happy endings To all our readers we wish you serendipitous treasures encounters with honest people and just rewards Happy New Year! PAGE 14 DECEMBER 28 1997 PARADE MAGAZINE |
