| Show Ellefl Came out as did Ellen DeGeneres (I) in a highly anticipated episode on ABC making her the first gay star of a sitcom Hong Kong sovereignty reverted to China at midnight on June 30 ending Best Ear Lines Bast Hygiene News (Canna) From The Herald-Ma- il From Newsday (New York) how newspapers around the treated the Mike Holyfield championship fight in which Tyson bit off a piece of Holyfields ear: Heres vated robbery We sent him back to jail in his stocking feet said the judge Next time Charlie keep your feet off the furniture! up Worst Office Gripes NJ) biggest complaint people have The the place where they work: Its cold The second biggest comtoo hot The International FaIts plaint? cility Management Association found that the wrong temperature led the list of complaints heard by its members Other complaints in the top five included not enough conference rooms poor janitorial service and not enough storage space Hey boss! My office is warm enough but how about raising my pay? Best 'Whoops'! From The Fresno (Calif) Bee As he pulled into the Yankee Stadium parking lot the driver claimed be a friend of George Steinbrenner But how embarrassing the parking-lo- t attend- ant was Steinbrenner He looked at me surprised and said Guess Ive got the wrong said the Yankees owner who was working as the worlds high- - Maybe George would trade a VI est-paparking-lo- t giot for attendant to personal- - a letty pitcher lot id PARADE MAGAZINE DECEMBER 88 1997 Bite of the Century! The Arizona Republic (Phoenix) PAGE 7 Best New Vacation Spot From Self magazine f hats the laziest city in America? it ranks cities when it Its Altoona Pa because Lexington (Ky) Earmarks of Cowardice Holyfield Still ica's Fittest City because it has more fitness professionals than anywhere else San Francisco Worst Shopping News From The Register-Guar(Eugene Ore) A d survey of grocery store executives reports that 64 of customers secretly open and eat cookies candy or chips then dont buy die opened package Their requests are sometimes odd too including refund demands for food that was eaten but not enjoyed Some executives reported customers who got into fistfights with the cashiers or washed their hair with die mist sprayers in the produce section There was also one report of a family that set up a campsite complete with hibachi grill in the back of the store to cook their dinner in the seaWe always enjoy food department Chomp-io- n Examiner Two-B- it Bout: Holyfield Wins The Kansas City (Mo) Star World Chomp The Sun (London) Lobe Blow For Boxing The Tennessean (Nashville) Pay Per Chew The Philadelphia Daily News sum up: Headline Writers Pun-is- h Readers To From Newsweek magazine Brace clothes Houston Chronicle A Dog Pet Toothpaste is billed CraZy very first peanut toothpaste for dogs It retails for $6 The same company also makes a special $6 toothbrush for dogs The hard part is getting them to brush r 35 1 st out of 35 1 US comes to active recreational activities On the other hand L A wins as Amer- If it wasn 't so much work we d load the couch in our van and head for Altoona (Hagerstown Md) Best New Fashion Trend "Bite Night Herald-Leade- From The Record (Bergen County ly investigate traffic problems at the stadium He said he was appalled by the double parking illegal parking and people wrongfully slipping into VIP slots We bet this turns on Seinfeld " 156 years of British colonial rule yourself for what is being the next revolution in computers in your MITs trendsetting Media Lab fired the first shot of the Wearable Computer future where circuitry will be embedded in smart garments that can count calories get heavier and lighter depending on the climate and change color according to your mood What would you use them for? Just think of the various mobile gadgets we drag around: laptop computer cellular phone cammonicorder tor pager tape recorder Walkman One day postulates Media Lab Prof Alex Pent-lan- d we might want to slip into a shmatte that handles all those tasks Maybe the logic will be woven into the fabric itself blood-pressu- re And get this: Comput- er clothes can be made washer-saf- e Just be sure says Pentland to unplug them first and never press delete |
