Show npHIS ladles and gentlemen la a somewhat dizzy report of the Republican aa it will take place at Cleveland “ Convention ia Ohio beginning next Tuesday Since it not our duty— thank the Lord !— to diacuae the candidatea and their qualifications we merely offer a few aidelighta on the aituation and then retire among the reat of you grumblera You know the old motto folks : There's safety in grumblers Up at the top we give you a few of the leading candidates for the world's toughest job Reading from left to right we meet Herbert Hoover Arthur Vandenberg Prank A Lowden Frank Knox William E Borah and— as the most probable winner of the nomination— Alfred Landon The joker at the right is our old friend Mr Dark Horse And if we can believe all we’ve read in the papers recently Mr Dark Horse is liable to be anyone from Judge Crater to Singln Sami Moving down over at the left you will find a most pathetic convention Guys Gals Giggles and American playwright sold the motion picture rights of one of his works to a big film outfit on the coast He closed the deal with the Eastern representative of the coast outfit Some six months later the picture was completed and released When the author saw it he found that the usual thing had happened Only this time it was a little bit worse The play had been rewritten in its entirety Not a line or situation in the original script had been retained Even the names of the characters were different The only thing that remained as it had been sold was the name of the play The picture was released under the same title But this playwright was a bit different from the rest He didn’t rave rant or sue He merely sat through the picture saw that nothing but the title was left of his brain child and departed without a word A few months ago another opus by this same playwright opened in Philadelphia It drew rave notices from the critics And the following morning found the author phoning the Eastern representative of the same picture outfit that had filmed his other play "I just called to till you” said the writer “ that my new play is a sensation in Philadelphia Everybody is raving about its possibilities for the screen” "Fine” cried'the picture man " I’ll hop down for a look at it right away” "Don’t waste your time” returned the author "The picture rights to the play are not for sale” The film man was astounded "No?” he muttered "Then why did you call me up?” The playwright’s voice floated gently over the wire "that maybe you’d like "I just thought” he fgplied ‘ to buy the title!” TIIREE’S A CROWD N old maid returned to her hotel room one eve ning and received the shock of her life Three strange men were sitting there and playing cards The woman immediately grabbed a phone and called the hotel manager "Manager” she cried "there are three strange men sitting in my room” “Three strange men?” echoed the manager '"Why that’s terrible!” "It certainly is” snapped the old maid "I want you to send someone right up and kick two of them out!” BAD SERVICE A FEW months ago reports Phil Romano our X friend Lapidus was persuaded to' purchase a dictaphone for use in his business Lapidus didn’t really want the machine but a high pressure salesman talked him into it Several weeks later the salesman dropped in to see how things were goingv "Well Mr Lapidus” he smiled "How do you like your dictaphone?” Lapidus regarded him sourly "Its rotten” he growled "I tukk into it — and vot heppens? It tukks beck vit an accent !” A run out Of In the next picture Delegate Rufua J Rattlebottom is picking out a little present to send to the wife back home He knows perfectly well that his wife will never meet Margie with whom h danced eight times the night before sions stores do offer some marvelous bargains for the conscience! Next we meet Mayor Clarence HoopstrsMle of Crapaloo Wis During a lull in the convention broadcast the Mayor has been asked to voice his opinions on the radio The Mayor is struggling through a few thousand words— and will he be core when he finds out that the station went off the air just as he began to speak! Moving along we see Susie and Cora as they drop a handkerchief very close to Delegate Gassalot of Bumjaw Maine Two Innocent little girls Susie and Cora will be quite shy when Delegate Gassalot speaks to them —but these Delegate Gassalot will soon be much lighter in the pocketbook without learning that Susie and Cora have been dropping the same handkerchief at every convention since McKinley was nominated! Up at the top in the Tight hand corner we discover Imogens Scratch of the Daily Quill who was sent to the convention to get the woman's angle And brothers and sisters she’s getting it! Directly beneath is Max Bliff the communistic button vendor Today Max is selling Republican buttons Two weeks from now in Philadelphia he’ll be selling Democratic buttons A month from now down in Union Square he'll be selling buttons that read: “ Down With Republicans and Democrats !” And that’s about all for today-exc- ept to tell you about the man in the lower right hand corner That’s Freddie Pinchnickle the manager of the big convention hotel He’s worried and not without reason Half the guests have walked off without paying their bills And Freddie can’t trace them because everyM H body in the hotel is registered as John Smith! A Hel linger Short Story PICTURE SALE fifteen months ago a SOME scene Three delegates irqm the Southwest have unfortunately money— and they are attempting to assure the bartender that their credit ia good Please take one look at the bartender’s face and draw your own conclu- -- I KEEPING TRACK latest King Solomon fable has to do with a THE party that the d wise man threw in his palace During the course of the merry evening he spotted a beautiful blonde whose face looked much-marrie- somewhat familiar Solomon fell for rhe girt immediately He steered her to a quiet corner "Honey” he breathed "you’re wonderful I want you to jnarryjne” hadn’t been in prison TOMMY a week when Rita trip up on Sunday by boat Rita went by boat because it was cheaper that way The girl promised herself many things (hiring the journey She promised herself not to cry when she saw him She promised herself not to mention prison She promised herself to be cheerful In the screened room she waited with a number of other people She gulped And when she saw him coming through the door and looking around excitedly she couldn’t hold back any longer The tears came And she ran to his arms crying: “Oh Tommy Tommy Tommy Opportunity be okay “I’ll land something because no one will know me by sight over there John Otis will get me a lot further than Thomas Quinton See what I mean?” I kid — Tommy was only twenty of age — gritted his jaws and held her tightly “It’s all right Rita” he soothed “It’s all right honey Don’t get ex- OF that’s keeping me from a job is my name I figure if we move out of here kinds sudden Tent a place on the other side of town change our names to Mr and Mrs John Otis — why I’ll Her promises were forgotten THE BEST BETS “Fxom now on Mr Thoms Quinton look on tho bright id of thing” “Yes” returned his wife dubiously “But—” “No buts darling” Tommy interrupted “If we don’t do something in a hurry they’ll move our furniture out on us We’ll lose our bedroom set our radio our rug everything “But as Mr and Mrs John Otis We’ll save we can start again enough to pay off the furniture and then move out of the state Don’t you see what I mean honey?” Rita saw She said very swell to her What else was there for her to say? went home to Rita feeling that he cited baby It’s all right" In a minute she was all right owed the world nothing He had paid his debt to society Now he wanted She wiped her eyes and again really felt that their to start again and make a success of TOMMY over He and Rita laughed “Is it bad here?" she asked moved out the following night furnilife 11 He shook his head Under the name of But he was young He didn’t know ture and a “Not bad" John Otis and wife they rented a He is world this a that very dizzy “How is the food?" cheaper place on the other side of didn’t know that the good town Rita had long since lost her “Fine I mean not bad” mispeople who have never made a “That’s good Tommy" She sighed job — and after they had paid a take seldom forgive those who were month’s rent in advance they hadn’t “If only you hadn’t taken that money I get the blues every time not so lucky He didn’t know— but very much left Except hope Tommy I think of it Two hundred dollars — he soon found out John Otis went everywhere huntand now you have to spend a year But ing for some sort of position soon learned that there are no He in this terrible place Oh Tommy I” things were no better In this section In his an for section jobs He saw that the tears were coming of town than they had been in the of town no matter where he tried other There simply were no jobs again So he spoke swiftly the employer invariably smirked and Desperation settled “Stop being a baby" he said curtly upon the Quin“What’s a year? We’re both young wanted to know when he was retons once again And Tommy was in And when you figure that there are leased It was as though he had been mortal fear of what he might do unless something turned up very guys here for life— well what’s a branded for life In a very short time his buoyancy quickly year? Anyway I get three months off for good behavior so I’ll be home was gone He no longer felt that he Then as in the movies came the Indawn in June” He held her chin up with was going to beat the world Tommy called ou a fat little his finger “A good little wife cheers stead he nad an unhappy hunch that man one morning and the man was most cordial He asked her husband up Did you know that?” Tommy a lot of ques- She grinned feebly tions patted him on “I’m sorry Tommy the back and told him And I’ll make good there was a vacancy From now on Mrs “But Mr Otis” Thomas Quinton looks said the man quietly on the bright side of “you have had no exthings Mrs Thomas perience in our business And before I Quinton knows her husband is going to be place you on the payroll you must prove rich and famous some that you’ll be an asset day tnd nobody’s gonto us” na tell her different" “Mister” said TomThey both laughed my eagerly “I’ll do heartily “Oh by the way” anything you say" "All right” said the Rita said “I meant to little man “This is tell you I got a job” as you know a collec“Gee” laicLTommy tion agency We take “I’m worried kid terribly worried! Nobody believe I want to “that’s swell Swell bad accounts from all What doing?” go itraight” the firms in the city “Aw it isn’t much" Rita shrugged “Down in that placs the world was going to beat Thomas and we get a certain percentage of what we collect near Smith’s where they make maQuinton One evening after supper Tommy chine lace Eighteen a week and overtime or just enough to keep me and Rita sat and talked about the usual thing “T AM going to give you & simple going until you get out of here” A test If irou make “I’m worried kid” said Tommy good the job is Visiting time was soon up Rita worried believes tears Nobody felt "Terribly the again coming Quinton yours permanently All you have to We’ve got to I want to go straight but this time she choked them back do is to see this man and get him to — They looked into each other’s eyes — do something and do it fast” pay what he owes this concern” worheld a Rita's face know” “I and then they parted “Sure” cried Tommy Quinton hap"But what ried one mistake kids and Tommy? expression Just two “That’s a cinch What’s his pily What?” name?” The boy leaned forward was right It QUINTON TOMMY a “His name Mr Otis” said the little “I’ve got an idea hon” he asserted year It was nine months with three off for good behavior He earnestly “I think the only thing man “is Thomas Quinton” THE WEEK Every once in so often a picture pops out of nowhere and scores a sensational success that was totally unexpected Such a film last year was "THE INFORMER” which wound up as the best picture of the year although it was by no means “a special Such a film this year is SINS OF MAN” which is due shortly at your favorite theatre In this case Jean Hersholt offers a truly superb performance that stamps him as one of the greatest screen artists of all times Allen Jenkins and Don Ameche help too but it is Jean Hersholt who makes of "SINS OF MAN” a tender and very beautiful motion picture Watch for “ SINS OF MAN” and do not miss it Because it is a grand piece of work One of the best novels in recent months and one that will be remembered for many years is "ED U CATION BEFORE VERDUN” Arnold Zweig A powerful and significant story of the World War this covers a period preceding the events told in "THE CASE OF SERGEANT GRISCHA” by the same author several years ago Published by the Viking Press and sells for $250 For something quite different try "MYTENYEARSINA QUANDARY— AND HOW THEY GREW” by Robert Benchley The book includes about 40 sketches and at least 387 chuckles Issued by Harper and Bros and sells for $250 If you are interested in the sensational rise of the colored fighter of all time you will enjoy greatest " ” JOE LOUIS MAN AND by Ed Van Every Expertly written by a man who knows his subject thoroughly the book is published by Stokes and sells for one dollar by SUPER-FIGHTER- Odds and Ends in the Entertainment Field: The hot weather has handed the Broadway box offices a terrific lacing of late The only shows that look as though they will run through the Summer are “ BOY MEETS GIRL” "DEAD END” “THREE MEN ON A HORSE” and the g "TOBACCO ROAD” Dance records I enjoyed best recently were “The Glory of Love” and "You Can’ i Pull the Wool Over My Eyes” (Victor— 25316 Played by Benny Goodman and his orchestra) anc "A Rendezvous With a Dream” and "We’ll Rest A the End of the Trail” (Brunswick— 7662 Played b) The owners oi Johnny Green and his orchestra) the nation’s professional football teams are talking of playing two series a year one in the Fall the othei in the Spring W e football nuts hope they go througl with it And they probably will when they havi gathered sufficient nerve — and sufficient cash never-endin- In the sporting world I’m betting my ten cent this week that PEDRO MONTANEZ outpoint FRANKIE KLICK in their fight at New York oi The gangster shrugged ’Don't be silly” smiled the girl "You and I were " I just found out” he remember?” Monday night— that HARVARD trims DART Don’t "that a need a explained tried year ago you you license to carry a gun!” MOUTH in their baseball game a Solomon snapped his fingers met Boston on Thursday — and tha ‘By golly that’s right” he cried "I knew I SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA eas u somewhere before!” ROMANCE ily repeats its last year’s victor over OHIO STATE in their traa DISCOVERY held the girl close in his arms playboy THE meet at Coldmbus Ohio next Sat a and he a into walked "You are placed pawnshop whispered passionately rHE killer You can ads so beautiful I” urday afternoon revolver on the counter d make yourself some easy cash b The girl glanced at him shyly ‘How fnuch” he grunted "for this gun?” " I’ll bet” she said betting even money that JAMEl coyly "that you tell that to all ‘Is it a good revolver?” asked the proprietor " 1 the J BRADDOCK lasts longe it’s girls:’’ growled gangster good’’ jhe "Soitenly 7 against JOE LOUIS tharrMA J Thepiayboy shrug gedr — mped off fourteen guys with this here gun SCHMELING does Don’t sa "What he returned have to "You don’t say” mused the proprietor "If that’s I "Certainly got we didn’tellyou fdarkH a case whyjlo you want to sell it?” gain by felling (hg truth? 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