OCR Text |
Show ) UINTAH BASIN STANDARD. January 21. you think getting building permit is hard, think how Noah must have felt If ark? I explained to then about the flood, the waters Grom the neat deep and die floodgates of die sky. And behold, they wentest berserk and ranted about water rights and minimum stream flow regulations and flood plain studies. I barely escaped with my life. By Spencer Greer thnce-stori- When I was building homes full time I would often beg my building partner to go in to apply for the building permit I would rather take a licking than deal with all the red tape necessary when applying for a building permit. It seemed that with regulation changes and personnel changes at the city or county office I was always found lacking something when I turned in the plans for a building permit. The following story came to my attention, it is anonymous, but reflects well builders occasional trials and tribulations. And the Lord saith unto Noah, "Where is the ark. which I commanded thee to build?" And Noah replied, "Behold, when I Journeyed to the Jordan County naming and Zoning office for a permit, verily they railed against me and said, "Thy property is not zoned for an ark thirty cubits high. Thou wouldst require a 1040 environmental review, impact studies apd a public hearing for a multi-famil- variance.. "An behold, when I toldst them it would be a temporary usage, they asked .where I was going with a "And another my lot is zoned for a dwelling, and Thou has condos for even my three sons and their wives. That wouldst be a y development "That reminded me, oh Lord, last week at the homeowners meeting, I mentioned the animals. They reminded me of the covenants. Fueling a little defensive, I gave them your requisition Iist..lions, . elephants, rhinos, alligators, chickens, monkeys, two by two, and fowls of the air, seven by seven. Behold, Lord, they completely lost their sense of humor and sought to smite me. But I will work on it Couldst Thou please assign's bodyguard?" And the Lord saith, "Noah, faithful servant doest they besL.J11 take care of you. But 1 need that ark completed in two fortnights. Do notfaileth!" . be so." But it was not so. And the Lord saith, "Noah, where is the ark?" And Noah saith, "Lord, behold, the building department hath been giving me fits. Thou didst specify gophetwood beams on one cubit centers on the second level. Code requires that gopherwood beams be placed on half cubit centers on that level to give adequate bearing strength for the elephants, hippos and rhinos. When I left, they were calling Planning and Zoning, asking about zoning for a zoo or circus. Lord, I thinketh that we are in trouble with the animals. "And Lord, the plan checker wenteth into a fit and gnashed his teeth when he saw dial the plans called for only one door on the whole buildiitg. He declared! that a structure of this size required! two exits on each level." And the Lord saith, "Noah, my Page 13 Noah And answered, "Christmas? Whats Christmas!?" "In by Christmastime! It's just Noah answered and said, "It will ed 1997- - schedule calleth for the ark to be completed' before Christmas. Wariceth thou very hard!" an expression used in the building trade. It doesnt mean a thing." And Noah answered, "Verily, it shall be done." But behold, it was not done. And the Lord saith, "Noah, the ark is not ready?" And Noah answered, "Verily, I have had three carpenters off ill, and last Monday was a holiday. And die fowls of the air Thou ordered by sevens are now acrid lots." only in half-dozNoah wnutg his hands and wept, saying, "Oh Land, I am undone." And the Lord replied! with compassion, "Take heart, Noah. Now thous understandeth why I have called for a flood to descend upon the earth." To many builders and new homeowners this may sound like the order erf business in their lives. en . A BUSY ARMS-Jes- sie Bentz, sophomore, swims the 200 individual medley in a recent meet against West High SchooL Greer if the executive of the Home Buildert lion ef Greater Bait Lake. Union swimmers finish regular season with improved times Union High swimmers finished up the regular season in a meet Saturday with Uintah and LehL "We had some improved 100 meter back stroke in 1:18.61. This wss three seconds foster than his previous best. He also improved his 30 yard freestyle time. Jessie Bentz improved her 100 times," said Coach Kirk "which helps the yard Breaststroke by six seconds . Wentworth, confidence level of the swimmers while swimming at Lehi, and last as they prepare for this weeks week against Carbon improved her 100 yard freestyle by three region championship meet." Brian Berlin had his best 300 seconds. Lehi will host the Begion 10 yard freestyle time of 6:22.42. Four seconds foster than his previous swimming meet this Friday and Saturday at the American Fork personal best. Jeff Berlin swam a personal Fitness Center. For qualifying swimmers, the best in the 100 yard freestyle with 3A State Meet will be held in a 1:10.02. Pattrick Wentworth swam the Provo, Feb. 7 and 8. - SWIM ACTIQN-Pattri- ck Wentworth, freshman, swims the 30 yard freestyle, Saturday at Lehi. UHS graduation date: Saturday, May 31 Uintah High Schools graduation date has been changed to Saturday, May 31, at 10 a.m. During Tuesday's school board meeting, UHS Principal Kent Bunderson requested to have the graduation date changed from Thursday, May 29, to Saturday, May 24. That request was approved by board members on the condition that the State Office of Education had no objections. However, the State Office of Education is requiring all students be in school a minimum of 180 days. Rather than holding graduation on Friday night, board members have approved the scheduling of graduation on Saturday morning to help accommodate student family members traveling to graduation from outside of the Basin. A SURVIVOR-- A snow ball losser gets decked and expresses his displeasure at getting tattooed by the white stuff. Winter time is a great time to view wildlife YARD mar If ' you have the proper serve as a blind, keeping you out of equipment and follow one simple the wildlifes sight. rale, winter can be one of the best You dont present a threat to wildlife-viewin- g times. r animals when youre in There are many reasons why. your vehicle, because vehicles are "In the ' winter you're able to an everyday occurrence to many of view certain species that are not them, hie said. otherwise common or easy to find", To get a good look at wildlife explains Bob Walters, Watchable youll need equipment that will get Wildlife program coordinator for .you close to die wildlife without the Division of Wildlife Resources. getting close to them -For instance, winter is one of binoculars, or better yet, a spotting the few times you can view bold scope. eagles and the only time rough-leggWhen. hawks visit Utah. equipment arid follow the simple To help people better enjoy rule of renuuning with their vehicle, bald eagle viewing, the Division wildlife will usually remain where has established an annual Bald they are, undisturbed and relaxed. Those who follow these rales Eagle Day. This years Bald Eagle Day will be Saturday, Feb. 8, with not only do themselves and the the exception of southwestern Utah, wildlife they're viewing a favor, but where it will .be held Feb. 1. others who want to view them too,. Division biologists will set up Information on some of the spotting scopes, and will answer state's best viewing sites is found in questions and teach visitors about the Utah Wildlife Viewing Guide. these mqjestic birds, at viewing It's available from Division offices sites throughout the state. and bookstores for $3.93. 1997 Bald Eagle Day viewing Bookstores that do not have a copy sites will be selected and can order one from Falcon Press. announced by Jan. 30, Walters Information about viewing areas said. also is available by contacting While winter brings raptors Walters at 1 . (801) such as bald, eagles and rough-leggto hawks the state, it also d wildlife brings Utahs residents into areas where they may be more easily viewed. An example is the group of The Vernal Area Chamber of Rocky Mountain goats that Commerce, Business Resource snowfall brings down from the Committee will be high country, to ledges above the Development Start Training a Quick sponsoring lot at the mouth of for "Starting Your Own Business Sab Lake Citys Little Cottonwood January 29 tn Roosevelt and 30 in Canyon. Vernal. It will be held from 6:30 -Walters said he counted 36 to 9:30 pjn. at the Uintah Basin 40 goats during a recent trip, the Applied Technology Center m largest group of Rocky Mountain Roosevelt and at the Uintah Basin witnessed there. he has goats CenterUSU In the winter other animals, Applied Technology in VernaL This seminar is such as deer and elk, also come Building by Duchesne County down from the high country to Chamber of commerce, Uintah areas where they may be more Basin Small Business Development easily viewed. Center and the Uintah Basin The absence of leaves and other Applied Technology Center. in winter also makes foliage Special guest presenter win be wildlife easier to spot, another Dr. Marion Bentley, of USU advantage to watching them during Economics Department. Dr. Bentley 16 years of experience in winter, Walters said. . has over While there are many teaching ana consults to hundreds advantages to winter wildlife of businesses throughout the watching, those doing go must Western region each year. remember its a difficult time for There will be all the information animals, as they try to conserve that you need to get suited down energy during a season when food the path to owning your own sources are scarce business. All this packed into just The good news is that three hours and offered for a small techniques that make for the best fee of $20. It will be one you really wildlife viewing also are techniques shouldnt miss. thst help animals most A complete business suiting Its a viewing situation where picket ' will be given to each both man and wildlife win. registered person, and class size For successful wildlife viewing wfil be limited in the winter, there are two mam For those who are interested, or stop call 722-43or 789-19things to remember, Walters said. The first is to remain in or near by the UBATC in Roosevelt or your vehicle. Allow your vehicle to Vernal to register. iatFold orted Print 49 YARD - j- ed "BBT SELECTION $1 Off - - Roosevelt Variety - - Per Yard Patterns 538-477- ed year-roun- IN THE BASIN" RDUR0Y Simplicity McCalls Quick start training seminar planned Puk-And-Ri- de 23 42 V.. SALE d jpsjev.-Goo- January 21 to February 1, 1997 wit Variety 722-924- 8 Open 8am - 8pm Moo-Sa- t. vSfwnwe. - Variety 722-228- - Auto Parts 5 South 200 East Roosevelt 1 Closed Sunday - - - f t It !' 4 |