| Show A reasonable theory how did miss Dibb leson succeed in getting rid of the hair that persisted in growing on her apper lip I 1 was noticing her yesterday and the mus lache that used to disfigure her has disappeared I 1 don t know how she managed it perhaps she tried some kind of hair restorer on it chicago record her lid BELIEVED attey my dear dian didn t I 1 hear you tell jenkins that you were going to plunge hubby yes lifey well glad to hear it I 1 d so much rather you d go swim ming than go to the races cincin nati enquirer A order the idle rich one ya as I 1 ve de aided to go in for ballooning a bit so you may take my order agent what sort of balloon do you the idle rich one why to begin with you might furnish me with a high altitude balloon a low altitude one a touring affair and say a run about ballo onette for town use puck shattering sentiment ah the b igler exclaimed the beautiful girl graduate always bring something to your mini to here the call of the bugled yes yawned the corpulent and un romantic matron it always reminds me that I 1 have a pair of scissors to grind and it I 1 don t hurry the sets sors grinder will get out of sight chicago dally news A poor plan husband so that new girl goes out three nights a week tell you how to keep her in scare tell her a terrible fellow called jack the kisser Is prowling around kissing every girl he can catch wife doubtfully well don t know my dear I 1 was a young girl myself I 1 m afraid she d be out every night N Y weekly TO BE SURE the man from the furniture amov ers I 1 suppose you 11 have this in the bathroom sira london sketch A feline blus family dog did the cook give you a licking for eating up all of the whip ped cream family cat no it got all over my whiskers and made me look as if I 1 was frothing at the mouth she thought I 1 was having a fit and ran for her life detroit free press not quite clear she while in the country last sum mer I 1 learned to milk a cow just for amusement you know he for the cows amusement or for your owna chicago dally news A rushing business first rich man are you having any trouble getting your daughters mar ried offa second rich man I 1 should say not each pt them has been married twice already detroit free press jumping at a conclusion father asked the small hoy what Is a misanthrope 7 A misanthrope my son Is one who goes through the world looking upon other men with distrust and tures who have no object except to make his life i burden I 1 know answered the small boy you mean a street car conductor washington star no resemblance the young man at the other end of the sofa er it isn t true I 1 hope miss mirtie that sou told miss gaw sip I 1 was a sar a sardine the young woman if I 1 did mr I 1 take it back you re not the least bit in the world like a sar dine you seem to be terribly afraid you are crowding somebody chicago tribune what saved him confidential friend how do you manage to hold your job in spite of the notorious irregularities in the management of your offices political heeler they can t invest agate my case without exposing a chap higher up chicago tribune building for the future the pastor was looking at the plans for the new church it seems to me he said the downward slope of the floor from the entrance doors to the chancel is alto gether too pronounced viewed from the pulp t the congregation will seem to be sitting in t era that s my wife s idea explained the architect she says it will obal ate the necessity of lesting the women to tale off their hats and more of them will come to church cl icaco tribune its prerogative you are charged said the police justice with violating the smoke ardi nance what have you to saya I 1 have not violated any ordinance your honor protested the accused my factory has a smoky chimney it is true but it has a right to have it on what it s a tobacco factory your honor chicago tribune 1 not the squeeze he meant A basht il young couple who were evidently very much in love entered a crowded tramcar the other day do you suppose we can squeeze in herec he asked looking doubtful at her blushing face don t you think my dear we had better wait until we get homec was the low embarrassed reply tit bits the fiancee s dilemma A tear was on the fair girl s cheek and a wild hunted look in her what shall I 1 do oh what shall I 1 doa she cried oh this la awful and there remain only a few minutes to decide jack Is going to call on me to night and and I 1 ve ft forgotten which engagement ring la the one he g g gave me cleveland leader PRESENCE OF MIND binks put on your hat jane or you 11 catch cold punch done again I 1 bought your six best sellers said customer in the book store ah indeed replied the clerk with a smile how did you like thema well I 1 think you should ate your advertisement what do you meana why make it the six best sells chicago dally news no danger mr gay boy about to start on a business trip try to write to you every few days maria but it I 1 should be busy and a week or more pasa without you re hearing from me you needa t be alarmed mrs dayboy I 1 shan t take the children with me and hunt you up chicago tribune yes who mrs jimson punished little johnny and as soon as little johnny got one hand tree he handed mamma dear a biff in the jaw we overheard the fol lowing conversation why johnny jimson how dare you strike your well who began this scrap I 1 d like to know cleavland Cle evland leader SOMETHING OF A SKATE what are you doing that tor at this time of daya oh just rolling home in the morn lag N 1 herald somebody got it yeast were you up to the oyster supper at the church last nighta Crimson beak yes it was a very enjoyable affair you re joking no I 1 m not every one that found an oyster had to sing a song have got tiresome not at all we only had one song the whole evening yonkers state married rich gus I 1 hear george has married an heiress he s in clover now I 1 sup posea dick no he s working like a horse trying to pay his board at a 40 a week hotel her father pays her and she wont live anywhere else N Y not a full hand say mister pleaded the dered hobo would youse mind lendin a pore a helpin handa here s a dime answered the man about town as he produced a coin that will buy three fingers ch cago dally news |
