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Show UINTAH BASIN STANDARD. July 31. 1991 - Page Utah State University Cooperative Extension Logan --Just say no! Three simple words that are supposed to protect our children from the pressures they receive to use drugs, drink alcohol, smoke ciga- rettes, have sex, join gangs, cany weapons, and the list goes on. In theory, it is a sensible and effective way for young people to avoid unhealthy, antisocial and illegal behavior. In practice, however, it doesn't really work very well. Perhaps its because saying no is something neither children nor adults are very good at. When two and three year olda discover the word 'no" and start to use it frequently, many parents express their displeasure verbally with "Dont you say W to me," or physically with a spanking. But the message the children an actually getting is "Its not okay to say no." Thus, this important to development milestone-learni- ng say no-- is stifled. Perhaps were taking the wrong approach in trying to convince children to just say no. Taking the lead of parents and others, it may be more effective to encourage them to say, "I gave at the lunchroom," "Not today, I have a headache," "Gee, I'd love to but Pm busy," or "I really want to but my teacher is against it" Of course Im being facetious and ' I realize the pressures facing our children are no laughing matter. But I do believe that we are fooling ourselves when we expect our children to just say no-inhibit their "no" responses as toddlers and teach them through our own behavior to say just about anything but no when no is what we really mean. Allowing small children to say no and teaching them when no is appropriate and when it is not, is an important first step in learning to be assertive-t- o just say no. Learning how to say no as adults so that we can model honest no responses for our children is also essential. However, this is not enough. To say no is to risk rejection, to be an outcast, to be a dweeb or a nerd or whatever the current label is for those who are different Even as adults we fear rejection. But for young people, being abandoned by ones friends, being laughed at, breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, being left are you punishing us like this?" we ask our children. Maybe its the parents who need to just say nol Say no to working overtime so you can spend more time with your children. Say no to others who ask for your evenings and weekends to do whatever it is that takes you away from your children. Say no to activities (eg., television) that require no dialogue or interaction. And say YES to your children. Yes, I am here for you. Yes, I appreciate you. Yes, I respect your feelings. Yes I am listening. Yes, you are important Yes, I love you. "Why No more Invent America is a success signs for yard sales, community events, and festivals of all kinds. Its also a time when people put posters, flyers, and bulletins on utility poles to publicize these events. Yet the staples, nails, and tacks seriously iijured. At Moon Lake Electric we need your help. Dont place signs or posters on utility poles, and please discourage others from doing so. Legga, and the Discovery Channel. The students began the year by studying how inventions shaped the history of our country and After months of study and an helped to address common needs. opportunity to meet and talk with In January, nine local inventors came to school to share their some of Utah's most successful inventors, including the man who inventions. Students practiced invented the Utah Artificial Arm, brainstorming varied and unusual students at Beacon Heights Ele- solutions to problems in an atmomentary School in Salt Lake City sphere that encouraged risk taking recently displayed their own and new ideas. patent inventions at Utahs first Invent Finally, the America! Convention. office gave each student a patent Designed to help students learn number, and they completed an to think creatively and to apply Intent to invent form describing critical thinking skills, the event their project. Evaluators later was a celebration of the ingenuity issued personalised certificates of and innovativeness of these chilmerit recognizing each students dren and of the spirit of American talents and success. The Invent free enterprise. Invent America! is America! program raises students a national education program sponin their own potenand tial sored by Polaroid, ability. Pepsi, July-ti- me people use to secure these announcements to poles create safety hazards for linemen. Linemen often "walk" up utility poles using spikes. They depend on the spikes to hold them as they move up and down the pole. Ifaspikehits a nail or tack, the spike cant hold the lineman, and he could be II ol Brandon Thomas, son of Dennis and Sherrie Thomas was nominated to "Whos Who Among American High School Students." lie will be a senior at Duchesne High School. we out..these are earth-shatterin- g, "Id rather die" kinds of events that every younger person knows adults cant possibly understand. The fact is, many parents dont understand the weekly, daily, hourly traumas their children face because understanding takes time. Thus, rather than offering our children a safe, supportive environment to express their fears, to discuss how to deal with everyday pressures, to explore their values, beliefs, and feelings, we simply instruct them to "just say no." And then were astounded when our children become addicts, when they end up in detention centers, or when they become teenage "What did we do to parents. deserve this?" we ask ourselves. or a new car. 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