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Show Moabites in pickup trucks. Or, more likely, maybe it's just because I'm too damn lazy to pedal all over town in this sweltering heat As local rancher Don Holyoak once said, "What's the point? You work your legs to death Just to give your ass a ride. J'd rather ride a hone. I any case, I sold my mountain bike several years ago and swore I'd never climb on one again, at least not in die Mountain Bike Capitol of the World. A couple of months ago, I stopped by Poison Spider Bike Shop to drop off an invoice or pick up some ad copy I can't remember anymore. But as I walked in die front door; Anthony, the shop manager; looked up, stopped me and said, "Hey Stiles, I have a bone to pick with you." Oh no, I thought I didn't know Anthony was related to the mayor. I shuffled over to the counter and, without much enthusiasm, asked him what the problem was. Anthony had been downtown a couple of days earlier and had seen me do something that even made me cringe. He'd nailed me. 'Stiles. I saw you come out of a store, get in your car, drive about ninety yards, stop, park your car again, and go into another store. That's pitifuL He was rht; of course. It mu pitiful, although not quite for die same reason Anthony suspected. In this case, at least it was my more than laziness. I was running from one end of town to the other doing ads, and since there is no method to my madness at all when it comes to this particular chore, it's amazing I ever get it together. Anyway, I'd left Four Comers Design and turned onto Main St, saw the Earth Studio sign and remembered I was supposed to stop there too. So I swerved across a lane of traffic and parked in front of a fire hydrant That damn Anthony was watching from somewhere in the shadows. What followed was an argument about my wasteful nonconsumption of gasoline and the clean, I that defense was of the bicycle. My only consumptive qualities as done to wanted and it the hated doing quickly get advertising as possible. Anthony seid I was wasting way too much fuel I admitted it must be twenty gallons a month. Anthony said that was twenty gallons too much. I got a little defensive and said he wasn't looking at the big r picture. "Look," I argued, "I admit I waste a few gallons a month, but if I rode a bike all over town, I'd be very sweaty and advertisers would cancel because I smelled bad, and I would go out of business, Besides; Anthony, I persisted, "what about you guys? You imoourage hundreds of thousands of people to bum millions of gallons of gasoline so they can come here and then ride their bikes. What about that?" Anthony Just shook his head and persisted. "You have to start somewhere. Let me ask you this," he added, "if you had a bike, would you net ride it?" "Well, I till don't think I'd do the ads on a bike, but I might . ride a bike at night; if I could do it without being seen," I conceded. "After all, I have a reputation to maintain, Anthony. Besides I Just can't get the hang of all those damn gears. I need something simple. "OK," he chuckled, -- I was Just wondering." I left grumbling a bit., .not a lot but some. Isn't there anywhere in fills town where I can go in peace, I wondered? I started to feel like Garbo. But that afternoon, I saw a truck pull up in my driveway and I stepped outside to see who it was. ft was Anthony and he was grinning. From file back of the Schwinn bike pickup, he pulled out the most beautiful I had ever seen. And he'd customized it: Zephyr Express, ft said, ft had coaster brakes. Even I could figure out how to rtop it The bike was a gift from Poison Spider. They are determined to pry me out of my Yuppiescummobile. Talk about a humbling experience. I was speechless. And while I haven't used the bike to do advertising, I have ventured out at night and even went so for as to take the bike to another county so I could ride in Messed anonymity. If I ever get the courage to ride in Moab in broad daylight, please be gentle with me. And remember, I may be on a bike; but at least I'm still And to Poison Spider and Anthony...Thanka for file bike. And for file conversation. SUBSCRIBE TO THE ZEPHYR Six issues a year for only $15u00 Twelve issues (2 years)$2&00 Eighteen issues (3 years)$4QD0 d one-spee- Name Address. City. (INCLUDE 9 DIGIT ZIP) PLEASE READ THIS: The P.O. will not forward 3rd Class mail. If you do not send us a change of address, we cannot be ." "lycra-free- absent-mindedne- non-pollutin- a ? A ss ' all u ft $ u :nk&j tn r ? rt , i y v , .. . . ..A A.A . .A.V. NON-TOXI- ill but C SOY INK Send Subscriptions to: P.O. BOX 327. MOAB. UT 84532 h it waj&'Jz The Zephyr may still make you its still not the ink. WE USE " v A . . AViAVAV M AS ALAa mjm A A.A CHARLIE PETERSON takes a look at county boundaries, more planning 6 zoning, the plight of our winery, and (may the saints protect us) the mayor's referendum- - THE NUTSHELL (PHOTOS!) THE WATCHDOG PAGE 8 Who better deserves the first award than that big. fat. idiot. PACE M Americas worst nightmare. Rush Limbaugh. with Ken Rait YOU CANT GO WRONG WITH A DOG PAGE 7 6 newcomer Dave Pacheco HERB RINGER'S TRIP ACROSS THE I only wrote this to annoy the Park Service. But do I mean PAGE 18 all those things? By Stiles AMERICAN 13 WEST-PA- GE Herb explores the ghost town of Goldfield in 194L PAGE 22 AROUND THE BEND IS NOW Driving old Utah 95. from Blanding to Hite used to be How bumpy, dusty, and a lot more interesting than it is now. much is left of the old road and what did it once look like? ..PAGE 20 Old photographs by Charles Krcischcr 6 THE U.S. FOREST ' vA much less this publication. MOAB IN A NUTSHELL . JPAGE 4 THE FIRST ANNUAL ZIPPER AWARD.. INTEGRITY f v. While the rest of Moab is tearing down orchards to make way for condos, the Rileys are building a new one IS W.V..,.VWMV.,.VW.V.SV.,.VAV( f? Y THE RILEYS' ORGANIC FRUIT ORCHARD THEN-TH- Those readers who choose to take disadvantage of the multi-yea- r counts do so at their own risk. There is no guarantee that the world will be here in three years, point-of-vie- w, wA. THAT WAS responsible for issues you did not receive. Subscriptions must begin with the next issueback issues are available for $2.50 each. Short Takes It's not my fault Visitation is down dramatically at Canyonlands National Park, and the Olympics in Atlanta have caused some to speculate that filings might even get slower. But this is the first time I've seen travel dip and nobody blamed has Bill Hedden or me. I don't know whether to be pleased or insulted. No Balance. I extended an invitation to Hardy Redd to write an essay about San Juan County from the perspective of a rancher and a life long resident of Utah's biggest county. He accepted but unfortunately; he never sent us anything. ..he did finally return my calls two days before press day. So you'll just have to read about San Juan County from our usual bleeding-hea- rt liberal without the balance I'd hoped for. Thanka George. When my cat bit me and escaped while exiting the Spanish Valley Vet Clinic; I thought I'd never see file little guy cat So again. Herf headed for the hills; one terrified, freaked-ou- t I. I helL hours thank Animal to want ..the three next were was Control Officer George Koskinen for his patience; persistence, and gentle manner in helping me get Herf back. Not only did he calm the the little guy down enough to put in a carrier and get him home; he may have kept me from having a nervous breakdown too. ' ' Thanks George. The CoverDeja Vu? If you've been reading this paper for more than five years, part of the cover will lode familiar. That's my old ' departed dog Muckhik and I just felt like giving her the spotlight again. If you feel you've been cheated, if you're annoyed that the cover has a recycled drawing, remember...what did you pay for the paper? KEN SLEIGHT is talking about racism in San Juan County again, this time the spoils of the Transient Room Tax. And more on Cedar Mesa. SERVICE TWISTED TABLOIDS PAGE 26 According to the USFS. if you can't graze it. mine it. or saw it. it ain't no good. Owen Severance strongly disagrees in PAGE 28 scries the first of a multi-pa- rt I just hope the citizens of San Juan County have a sense of humor. CHIEF POSEY 6 THE LAST INDIAN WAR FEEDBACK Barry Scholl chronicles the last conflict yv wVr;vv ;XvS$iS? FROM GRAND JUNCTION Dawn Capewelfs report on the demise of Demarce Canyon .....PAGE 30 AWAY.TAV. PAGE 32 So many letters, we had to start a page early. 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