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Show PAGE 17 THE ZEPHYR OCTOBER 1995 simple fact that a mere twelve year old was thinking legal action gave me the willies. If ya think about it, well if you can stand to anyway, we live in a sue happy society with a surplus of sue happy lawyers not to mention Judge Whopner, so what the hell do you expect? Now, there's a good reason to respect the hell out of adults. YVc are the criminals, they're just little wise ass bastards that we feel like killing because they piss us off. They are the product of a world and society that we created. Naughty us! To further beat the dead old horse now wish to ramble about the request or should say DEMAND for Police foot patrols in the DOWNTOWN AREA. First of all I think it is unfair because, we don't pay our Police enough to even come close to living any kind of a life in this over priced burg, let alone to be able to cover the expense of new shoes. Plus, there ain't a whole bunch of them and if I got somebody with a gun to my head I would prefer them to be in their cruiser when the dispatcher gives the call verses putting out little Tommy's cigarette. Keeping in mind my reliance on mostly gossip, I also heard that somebody said that the downtown merchants collect 60 of the sales tax which pays the law enforcements salary so they deserve the additional protection. Well hell, sounds like they're doing really well soilin' them trinkets, so maybe they can afford to pay off duty officers to patrol or get some of those little fans that blow the smoke away. Another option is they could pay the people that work for them enough so they wouldn't have to have three jobs and maybe be able to stay home and take care of their kids. Or hey, how about some youth programs? I mean what the hell do these little shits have to do? Nothing! The plain and simple fact is everybody wants this and that and nobody wants to pay for it. Now look, I've thrown myself into a tissy (Editor's Note: That's 'tizzy'). Some times 1 money trip. There's get so frustrated. It's just that I nothing wrong with money; hell, use it all the time. It's just when it destroys and creates visions of grandeur in individuals that I have a problem. I mean surely even the most capitalist of pigs amongst us would have to admit, this town gettin' a little funky. All our new franchise friends haw really cheesed up the main drag. I'll tell you what though, I low this damn little town. I don't think old P.T. Barnum hissclf could ever have imagined a Greater Show On Earth. I've never seen so few people in such a tiny little area all heading in different directions. The greatest tragedy is they are all either too busy or have their heads so far up their asses that they don't know they arc missing an opportunity to absorb such a diverse spectrum of human natures. Maybe that's the answer, we need to breed an environmentalist with a shrink to clean up this mess. How about Crocne and Joyce Brothers? I think the Ya, a, a, PEONMELIST problem has reached such an epidemic level that we're going to need a lot of them though. So let's go with massiw egg and sperm collection, a hatchery down on the tailings pile and then we could like put them in boxes and give them away in front of City Market. Perhaps solution however, definitely a spawning ground for new frontiers. not a dear-cu- t I'll tell you, is this a great country or what? 1 went from pissy to silly in less than a page. I hope you all understand that I'm not a well man and sometimes I say things that may seem a bit deranged or off color but, you haw to understand that it's just one of my last opportunities for unccnsored expression. As a matter of fact, today, Jim and I sat in the old bigshot booth at the Dos and exchanged thoughts on modifications to my column after the inevitable occurs and they haul me off to the International Center for Healing Arts Corner Locust Lane & 4th East I I BEHAVIORAL HEALTH RESOURCES Biofeedback training and behavioral counseling for stress management Migraine & tension headaches Hypertension.. .Pain control i AnxietyPanlc attacks Depression... Seep Disturbance Addictions(smoklng . food. alcohoO TMJJaw Clenching MenopousePMS Bio feedback teaches techniques that access the natural herding chemical produced by the body by balancing the nervous system. Individuals are empowered by their own mlndbody connection. Annette Kearl. MA. Behavioral Counselor. Certified Biofeedback Call for information & appointment schedule: 5 & Muse Therapist 259-334- shit-don't-sti- A Naturalist's Guide to the White Rim Trail available at these fine outlets (pee-on-me-Ii- Back of Beyond BiCfcfe QsMal? fflzpfci ) Qzd6B2dZ23 Hi Dave...a pack 0bome Book Kaibab Bikes Moab Into Center r-Poison Spider Bikes I Maps Kim Cvclerv Kim Tours Island in the Skv Visitor Center thought my cattle were eating vermicuLitu...this book confirms mv I suspicions. Sog Shafer ward. You sec, my wife left me, my rich parents hardly ever talk to me anymore because for the most part I'm a failure. My business is tubing, my brother lives near a mall and every State, Local & Federal government agency is after me about something. The only thing that keeps me going is I got a five year old kid that they told us to institutionalize when he was two, who is now fiw and went off to kindergarten with all the other five year olds this year. Anyway, if they cart me off, Jim said we could just change the name of the column to The Word from Ward BN or something along those lines. In my short tenure as a columnist I have grown fond of being able to share some of the production of my heavily taxed brain. Do not shun or think ill of that which emulates from this broken old shell. And with that, 1 bid you a fond farewell. Until next time, may your dreams become reality and slowly evolve into fond memories. See YA! B. The ultimate reference for observant explorers. J.W. Powell Not like this author's tell all guidebooks, no fotos, no secrets told. M. Kelsev th'Easti&;MilLCreekDrivea2 59?6 99 9 Morning Dave. That's what I love about Halloween... the anonymity of it all. 3 |