OCR Text |
Show THE ZEPHYR/IOCTOBER-NOVEMBER 2008. M. JOHN FAYHEE.... SILVER CITY, NM If I were president, I would work tirelessly to reinstate every treaty and the terms of every treaty between the U.S. govern- ment and the Native Americans that was not honored in part -or in full between now all the -way back to when Columbus first trespassed upon the “New World.” Simultaneously, I would work to aggressively begin a program of cultural reintroduction similar to the critical habitat protection component of the Endangered Species Act, wherein every Native American individual and tribe willing to make an honest attempt to live in a traditional manner (within reason, of course) would be allowed to (re)take up legal residence on all of their native habitat. If that conflicts with existing uses of that land, then so be it. : Whether the “live in a traditional manner” component of my platform includes waging war against Whites, that will up to the courts to decide. A Celebration Reading in of & Writing Moab, Utah TOM THORNE...SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH If | were president I would work to; Rename the Department of Defense the Department of War. Mandate a tax district for those protected by the dikes lining major rivers, requiring residents, not the rest of the country, to pay for their own protection and environmental restoration. Move the U.S. Forest Service from under the auspices Department of Agriculture to the Department of Interior. Tell the Animal Plant Health Inspection Service it has no jurisdiction over Yellowstone wildlife, that brucellosis came from cows in the first place. Give the Peace Corps planes to bomb Myanmar with rice and water. Put Bush Administration officials responsible for the $35 million “drug interdiction” payment to the Taliban in 2001 - bait for resuming talks on a trans-Afghanistan oil pipeline - in the same cell as John Walker Lindh. Decree that those who crash into and kill a big game animal while driving lose their hunting license for that species that year. Repeal the tax write-off on mortgage interest paid for second homes. Redefine the Colorado River Compact to recognize the benefit of in-stream flows. Comfort the afflicted, afflict the comfortable. Predicate oil and gas lease decisions on field development plans so all impacts are recognized up front. End the American Apartheid of migrant service workers from Mexico by legitimizing their presence with visas, allowing them to join our society and obtain drivers’ licenses, health insurance and services paid for by their tax money. Promptly after taking the oath of office as president of the United States, I would take five minutes on the Capitol steps sketching out a series of broad directives from which to make and execute policy. That same day, after handing these guidelines to my well-considered vice president, I would pack the truck —— and disappear for eight years. The glory that was the all subsidies and corporate Lo Celebrate and study the works Edward Abbey with guest authors & public readings. TWO MORE PRINT ISSUES TO GO goes ONLINE on MARCH 27, 2009 3. Drill this idea into the collective American mind set: whatever you choose to do, do it to yourself. Leave 4. Drop cs The First CYBER-PRINT Zephyr 1. First, be nice or shut the f*#k up. 2. Second, be honest or shut the f*#k up. all others including fauna, flora, land and ecosystems ol é www.moabconfluence.org Dec/Jan & Feb/Mar Thorne Administration will be remembered as having stemmed from a few simple, enlightened guidelines: the hell alone. Join us for a 3-day writing worlk<shop or come for the weekend. | or industrial welfare. Let any industry, group or individual that can’t | (or refuses to) compete or innovate in the world market- | place go to hell. 5. Redefine “American interests” as those directly consequential to life within our borders. Leave any sov ereign country doing it’s own thing (or to others around them as long as it’s not us) the hell alone. enters ember 6-9, 2008 _ 6. Establish a federally-funded, remedial education program for voting age citizens to focus on critical, hon est, and independent thinking. Participation will be forced on all who voted for George W. Bush twice, who have ever been heard parroting election year sloganeering (Republican or Democrat), who think “Mexican” is a language, who blindly follow trends, who bother to rationalize idiotic behavior, who spend more than they make, and who are just plain stupid. 7. Require all cities and municipalities in the west to use what water they have and no more. Grow with the resources available locally or dry up. 8. Leave what remains of the forests, BLM-managed lands, preserves, parks and monuments the hell alone. Immediately designate all WSAs and wilderness quality lands as such. 9. Drain the reservoir, allocate funds for cleanup, and establish Glen Canyon National tk. 10. Arrange for one final federal land swap, President Thorne’s home in Salt Lake g City for one acre surrounding and including the Kigalia guard station. : illy Knechone full festival Pass $75 Single Venue Pass $45 055-290-3108 - 5-0-1 MICHAEL BROHM... LOUISVILLE, KY If elected, for four years I'll go trout fishing in _ Wyoming, catch & release of course inlo@moablolilectival.com of | |