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Show THE ZEPHYR/AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2007 EEE SPAKCH POR RELIEP PROM FRE BRIGHTER GUILT SPPE of GEOBAL WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW CAN'T HURT YOU...WHAT YOU CAN'T REMEMBER BY JIM Some things in life are bad, Other thinngs just make you When you're chewing life's And this'll help things turn And... they can really make you mad, swear and curse, gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle out for the best. Eric Idle In Australia, when Life gets hard, my mates like to say, “never mind...she’ll be ‘right,” even though they often know they’re lying through their beer soaked And so, on this occasion, WON'T MAKE YOU CRY STILES More good news. We've heard that the polar regions are melting and that the polar bears may be out of ice in a few decades. It’s a pity for the bears, to be sure. But what about the benefits to international trade? According to Alaska Business Magazine, “...increasingly, Alaska may find potential trade and economic benefits from global climate change. According to Mead Treadwell of the Northern Forum, sea routes across the top of Russia will soon become practical alternatives to shipping freight from the Pacific Rim to Europe...In addition, receding sea ice is slowly showing hints of a long-sought-for Northwest Passage, through the archipelago of Canada’s far north. Alaska stands at the crossroad of these Always look on the bright side of life. teeth. WARMING I choose to sound an optimistic, even painfully cheerful note on the coming global catastrophe, as I drain the contents of my last Foster’s. Or...as Alfred E. Neuman has proclaimed for more than half a century: “What? Me worry?” Everything will be fine. Not bad. Just...different. Yes...please spare me the details. Of course, global warming will cause dramatic climate shifts and yes, it’s true, the developing nations, the poorest on the planet, will suffer far more than the rest of us. And indeed, global warming, driven by continued population growth and an ever-expanding, consumptive new trade routes.” Treadwell cautiously added, “However before cruise ships or freighters ply these routes regularly, strong political obstacles must be overcome According to NEWSWEEK, even parts of last year’s otherwise chilling report on global warming shined some happy light on the issue. British economist Nicholas Stern reported, “In higher latitude regions, such as Canada, Russia and Scandinavia, climate change may lead to net benefits through higher agricultural yields, lower winter mortality, lower heating costs and a possible boost in tourism.” world economy will destroy much of what's left of the natural world, crush the Those pesky political obstacles! Now that the most imposing obstructions are about to melt away in a warm breeze, the politicians can debate trade routes and permitting fees and gross tonnage and net revenues. The shorter route will benefit us all; imagine the shipping cost savings to be had on our Chinese-made products. All of that stuff that we want and think we need will reach us even quicker. And they’ll be able to send us even more. human cultures of those few civilizations not yet totally infected by the culture of Greed and Stupidity, and leave the planet stripped of its natural and human diversity, in ways we cannot even truly imagine. Isn’t that the idea? Already, even in the mainstream media, voices in favor of global warming are starting to be heard. When you're losing the war, Benedict Arnold once said, simply switch sides. And those embracing the inevitable are even being called progressive by the likes of NEWSWEEK. That honored publication observed recently that, “with further warming seemingly inevitable, the farsighted are already thinking beyond combating climate change. By government fiat or market force, humans will adapt, and that will bring eeportunities as well as challenges.” Farsighted, indeed. It notes that, with rising temperatures, “Russia, long a half-frozen terra incognita, will find its interior frontiers thrown wide open as the Siberian tundra turns to fertile prairie.” Of course, the lower latitudes of the planet will be These fish just swim endlessly in tight circles, hour after hour, day after day, for about three years, until they’re big enough scorched, “but America and other rich nations will be left relatively unscathed, because they are removed from equatorial regions that will be hardest hit, and wealthy enough to adapt.” According to NEWSWEEK, even parts of last year’s otherwise chilling report on global warming shined some happy light on the issue. British economist Nicholas Stern reported, “In higher latitude regions, such as Canada, Russia and Scandinavia, climate change may lead to net benefits through higher agricultural yields, lower winter mortality, lower heating costs and a possible boost in tourism.” So while working on our Miami tans may become a bit too uncomfortable in the future, we can look forward to beach side colonies on Hudson Bay. Ski resorts, threatened with the loss of their livelihoods are already examining to eat. But what about those rising oceans? No worries. Most experts believe it will take a century before they seriously threaten any developed city and those lowlying areas of the Third World will just have to fend for themselves. Many environmentalists claim that warming water temperatures and an expanding human population will deplete much of the world’s fish stocks by mid-century. Does _ that mean we'll have to give up Fish Fridays? Not at all. In Japan, entrepreneur Akito Yamamoto has developed a way of growing blue fin tuna in tanks. Japan already consumes 80% of the world’s blue fin catch and as more countries develop a taste for sushi and sashimi, the sea grown tuna are in jeopardy of vanishing. But Yamamoto has developed a process that should keep the world from ever having to live without sushi. In 16 foot diameter tanks, the options— one cheerful optimist sees olive groves replacing his snowy slopes. From converting ski resorts to spa resorts, the great entrepreneurs of our world will find a way to spin a silk purse from this slightly singed sow’s ear. And what about those billions who already live on the edge of poverty in the areas to be most devastated by the effects of global warming? NEWSWEEK gets a bit vague. But certainly, when the masses move north, those spas are going to get a tad crowded. TZ |
