Show her aaa d garess A member of the stock exchange has just paid SO for a seat said the husband of the prima donna gracious dear I 1 should thinh you could afford to give him a bo for that said the prima donna an yoni ers statesman somewhat egotist cal downing are yo i a believer in the survival of the fittest 7 eppson certainly and I 1 shall con dinue to be as long as I 1 tive she would see about it judge now Is it a fact that you stole these things from witness stored prisoner it jou please your honor my wife judge oh never mind your wife voice at the back of the court oh wont he thought not the real thing she so your trend fingleton Jin gleton 1 brain worker Is hea he not necessarily he writes words for popular songs SOON WILL BE FAR AWAY president I 1 think the cashier ha s a tar away look in his eyes paying teller yes better watch the cash drawer the mutilators of books I 1 have had lots of friends who were guilty of mutilating books they had borrowed from me but my latest ex peri ence was the most novel of all what was ita I 1 lent mrs blanks my dictionary a few days ago and yesterday she re it without a word the boston way towns she s from boston isn t shea browne I 1 cant tell she had occasion yet to pronounce the world either towne bhe s not from boston then if she were she d have found the occasion long ago real good of him kind lady let me see this Is the second time I 1 have given you a meal it the hobo dat s wot ma am an alst ter show dat I 1 ain t ungrateful give youse a testimonial wid me auter graff ter be used fer advertising in purposes exchange no chance to enjoy it paterson pete I 1 dreamed last night dat I 1 had a million dollars stacked oats D d yer enjoy if paterson pete nit t auz sued ter breach uv promise operated on ter appendicitis an mentioned ter de vice presidency fore I 1 d even got it counted judge it s morgan s church I 1 see a statement in the papers that when J P morgan reach ed new york he left the ship gotham what s strange abo it thata why it being morgan I 1 suppose most people expected to see him take the ship with him caught himself jiggins the last time I 1 saw you your neighbor well you re member you were telling me about his illness berriam the undertaker yes it terminated favora er as I 1 was say ing alas it terminated fatally cath olic standard ous don t you know you could get at least a dollar tor a day s mister answered meandering mike I 1 coulden couldn t take de chance de id do in a day be worth fifty cents an I 1 aint coln to incite no fur false pretenses keep it dark if a man keeps his eyes open and uses good judgment there s no sense in his being held up and robbed said the chicago individual no replied the householder he can sit out on the front porch until bed time and not burn any gas at all not famil ar with him have you ever read any of the teachings of asked mrs oldcastle Old castle no replied her hostess as they seated themselves in the sumptuous library where s he teachings 7 denew ng bostil ties mrs caller im surprised that you recognized me it has been more than alve years since we met mrs I 1 had almost tor gotten your face but I 1 remembered that dress you have on still belligerent nell she says she s ready to make up it you are belle tell her I 1 suppose be ready to make up too when my corn gets as bad as hers not qu te cured waiter roast beet or cured ham sira bring me some beef the last cured ham I 1 ordered here was only convalescent cincinnati commer cial tribune the beef strike bill I 1 see one of the stakes at the races was 5 gracious have horse steaks gone up that high too yonkers statesman not inconis stent tess you don t to say you re going to marry him jes yes tess the idea why you said you marr him if he was the last man on earth jess snappily lly well my gracious he Is he bus ness proposition the foreign nobleman entered the old man private office mr he began I 1 love your daughter and ask her hand in marriage exclaimed old Milly uns musingly what are your lowest strength some scientist has declared that there Is as much strength in three eggs as there Is in a pound of beef steals said the observer well replied the actor I 1 met an egg once that wo ild have eliminated the other two eggs from that tion the incentive going awaya asked bawker yes snapped bacheller plodding on with his suit case by the way the next door 10 you have a baby I 1 hear I 1 hear too why im going away had them sized up who Is that distinguished looking mana he ie the bead waiter and who Is that other fine looking fellow with the diamond in his shirt fronta that Is the clerk one more wha Is that insignificant looking man who seems to feel that he doean doesn t belong here that Is the owner of the hotel modern society slight mistake he you look at me as it you thought I 1 was a fool she I 1 beg your pardon you can t be such a fool after all he what do you mean she your remark shows that you possess the ability to read one s thoughts at a glance not strange there was a strange man at the coor just now maam and I 1 dont think he could tell the truth if he tried said the maid why then do you say he was a strange man Bridget 9 replied the woman who was living with her sec ond husband not a mourning su t drown I 1 just met old man smith on his way down town to recover his son s body green what you uon t mean to say that his son was drowned brown oh no the old fellow was going to buy the boy a new suit of doties see something to be thankful for lady caller I 1 am sorry to hear that your husband has tailed mrs Take teasy it must be mrs Take teasy sobbing yes it s dreadful but brightening visibly thank goodness my new costume came home just before the crash new yorker what an ideal she mercy 1 charley biow your othes smell of tobacco he yes I 1 rode up in the lag car tonight to night why charley I 1 thought they were using smoke consumers on the rail road now yonkers statesman it certainly was riffraff hear about Biff bang no what about him riffraff they say his wife made it so hot for him that he had to leave home Biff bang well that certainly was i shrew ed move on his part ever notice it brown I 1 have just discovered what it is that destroys a mans memory completely green what Is it alcohol or to baccon brown N either its doing him a favor HER FATHERS ADVICE he I 1 told your father that I 1 bet dote on you she and what did he say he that I 1 had better find an antt dote worst ever myer that woman over there laughs like a man gyer yes it s a wonder the grand jury doean doesn t indict her myer what fora gyer why for mans laughter no longer useful maud that little boy next door swears like a trooper I 1 hope you don t play with him no mother not now he s taught rob all he knew lite his sixth sense baffler dines out a good deal doean doesn t he I 1 should say he did why that nan can tell an oyster fork from a pame fork with his eyes blindfolded and his hands tied just as good oh yes skinner was a beneficiary under old boxley s will I 1 dian didn t know he was a relative of rox ley s he gasn wasn t butche was actor ney tor a relative A substitute witte Is this your advertisement in the paper waneeda Wan tedA good strong mule to do a drayman s work drayman yes mine why witte what the matter are you going on a vacation 7 f L it i the ruling passion teacher of arithmetic class tommy twaddle may tell the clasi what a league Is tommy promptly league la eight baseball teams on the bargain counter he A penny for your thoughts she im very much afraid you bould not get full value bior your money he what were you thinking of she ot you something just as good yes I 1 met your husband last night he nas just full of flattery X met him at about 2 this morn ing but be gasn wasn t full then not ot flattery anyhow |