| Show BYRON BY WILLIAMS he ate a lot of rare old cheese and went to bed another gone the milky whey the paper said the proposed dining cars on sub urban electric cars open a new avenue of enjoyment in chicago for in stance one can take his shavings and cream in highland his eggs and toast in evanston his coffee in rogers park and his toothpick at chicago avenue following this up will undoubtedly bermit him to take his stomachache on state street thus there will be enough of the breakfast to keep a mm busy all downtown we are indeed a versatile people A chicago women emptied a re volver at a midnight marauder in her home without hitting him had she been armed with a rolling pin she would undoubted have landed safe ly at the one should always stick ta the weapons that familiarity las made a protection an illinois woman pre vend her appearance in court by swallowing tha summons which was served upon her thereby making it non returnable if this becomes general justices of the peace will be compelled to have their warrants printed on fly paper paste this in your scrap book august 8 1904 we had a fire in the furnace to take the chill from the house said inclemency being caused not by a family jar but by a growl of boreas from the northland rah for winter in the summer time abdul hamid should be furnished with a plethora of know t was loaded literature else he will not be prepared some day when the united states navy accidentally takes a shot at him to enforce respect of the stars and stripes in illinois a quarrelsome man and his wife are each to occupy the same 1 ouse in halt week relays alternating in the occupancy this means that the bed will be made three times a week anyhow the doctors say we all eat too much it is a comforting thought these parlous times to know we can live on considerably less it compelled boand this is no joke eyther try as we will we cannot recall that it was uncomfortably cold last february but almost anyone believes he will remember next february how hot it was in august from their own porches men sea the sunset but they make long all gr images to naples the one Is tree the other costs money teats aby wat lovie would do if dovie died is frequently never suspected by the neighbors until a week after dovia really and truly shuffles off A clever politician usually distria utes his family members in the local churches with an eye to making them go round as far as possible A woman s last word frequently makes a popular novel look like a bob tail pup and it s almost always con linued at that A street car schedule upon the shaded porch he sat with sue he tola her of a flat just built for two out where the streets were broad ane wide where flowers blossomed by the side and bird flew he kissed her as each car it hove in s she said she thought she would at least she might just then the cable broke its chain and left a street car near the twain ask for more fully half the pleasures of a coun try town existence is lost because of jealousies aroused by knowing peo pie too well when a man not given to spon tane ity laughs immoderately at your jokes beware he is getting ready to borrow money of you it Is not difficult for the rooster to crow but the jackass makes ludicrous work of it moral stick to your forte every town has 1 village cut up and its village doraty leader and one is tunny as the other W jp the true philosopher never corn plains at the preferring to re member it Is mighty good for the corn 1 I i ita 1 A boy that will steal watermelons will well hell brag about it in at ter years if he Is like his dad knowing how to do a thing and do ing it is the difference between fall ure and success if adam had had an automobile he t hat e had time to have eat en the apple A sucker Is born every half a min ute during the summer resort sea pianos are great sinners else why should they be punished so desperately A good way to avoid excitement Is to pay the tax man it is easy to be charitable it tt doean doesn t cost much when the heart is lovesick call a doctor of divinity la A phonograph is not needed by all married men w y we are our friende tri ende talents W 1 |
