Show Dennis Hinkaitip x'rr:r y Slightly Off CenteT v r G’head ask any comedian comedy isn’t funny By Donnla HWaunp So you know it is going to be a bad night when you head into the parking lot and discover that you can walk underneath everyone trucks The second sign of the end times is the sign that says “All you can eat com dogs and comedy night” Still $100 Is serious beer and pizza money and you’re new at this so you think “how bad could it bef You soon redefine the parameters of this question Disco hasn't died it wu just boxed up and shipped to small clubs in Idaho They actually have one of those checkerboard lighted floors like on Saturday Night Fever — and it is still on The band that proceeds the comedy plays some country western ditty preceded by the question ”Tnis one goes out to everybody who’s been in prison how many Center productions I’m not bitter I just want to set the record Knight t about comedy: 1 Comedians don’t tell jokes j they do bits or routines Jokes by definition are something you heard form someone else Comedians do original material The only people who tell jokes are politicians who are later sued tat sexual harassment and after dinner speakers who always start off with "a funny thing happened on the wsy to the dinner tonight This is the intellectual equivalent of the Whoopee cushion 2) The most annoying thing you can uy to a comedian at a party or dinner is “hey do thing for us” We donl ask other people to perform their jobs at dinner parties "Hey Bob while we’re waiting for our pie could you climb under my car and J check for that transmission leak?” 3) Most comedians have never y’all been in been on TV Club comedy is prison?" Ibo many hands go up I don’t remember the rest of the details but that wu six years ago and the memory still gives me the chills I prefer the relative safety of a slow cathode ray death from a computer screen than the land mines of the stand up comedy business However even though Michael Ballam once again snubbed me from this Eccles much different than talk show sitcom comedy There are hundreds of comedians doing sleazy in s town near you who will never be on TV and are the equivalent of “bar bands” trying to get a recording contract Some like me harbor little hope of making a living doing h It’s a part time job and a performing art for those who can’t sing dance or play a musical instrument 4) That said TV is ruining one-night- TTMEKIE'S MO BXCUSB ifcVveooSS-uNm - LIME B comedy TV takes the best 30 seconds from every performer like sound bites Audiences younger audiences actually track to start before they can decide to laugh themselves 0 5) Robin Williams is brilliant but he steals everybody’s material Also most of the people who liams?" have never seen his live act He is dirtier thsn Eddie Murphy snd he grabs is crotch more thsn Madonna and Michael Jackson combined Plagiarism is rampant in a field where there is no written copyrighting There is self enforcement and reputable comedy dubs will not hire some body again if they find out their 'i' I li’t 9) If you see s comedian twice heshe will likely give about the same show as the last time you saw them It takes years to work routine — up a good you have to keep using i mining their own psyche for say "well are you like Robin i Comedy is related to acting but you rarely take on a persona that is different than your own So yes Slightly Off Center is more thkn a column title for me it’s a lifestyle 7) That said most comedians spend unhealthy amounts of time home unless they really did appear to be waiting for the laugh iWVjHiStt ' convince them that this S already have the attention so of a hyperactive when they go to clubs they get bored with anything longer man a knock-knoc- k joke I have sensed well-rehears- y-- te again TV can be evil Once everyone knows your punch will pay to see The Rolling 8) Working for audience approval brings extreme highs funny stuff comes in 10a ana extreme lows The feedback is immediate unlike writing work or school where your judg lines your show has no value It is not like music where people Stones play Hanky Tank Woman a billion times 10) David Letterman has forced everybody to think that Logan iMidant Dannie HHusnp wrUaa inonMy tor Ciohi Ms column Mol vMtNtW ORLP’ Out lot Store Children's X 41 j K p Factory ' t a' y 4 'v ‘ r J f ! : :’-- '4 ' V is cfosino it’s outlet store inT i ( gitdirqysigawiaUiiilnrfiarti ri 'taurii ihifTftTtri1‘ ” tin xUQl 3 K an m Music Workshop David Michael Cottle Sat April 20 7:00 pm ? The answer is here! LIME a powerful yet easy to music notation software fulfills everyone's editing and music publishing needs David Michael Cbttle a professor at Brigham Young University's Department of Music will take us for a tour of this program which is available for Macintosh and Windows9S A special version is available for a low introductory price Refreshments catered by -the Blue Goose pre-relea- Iir v J -- 4- ?(: i' r i- -' s f hf i V k a1' 'i X X i ” -- Entire Stock J Winter & Spring Dresses Marked Below : Cost at:- ( p'WffBf1 B &- m I - " jf’ se ? OllV: TABUKpf“ tuwliftlwmnilwnraMfa Arttm TkmrUnm Mmmc VMmantf 2s mosluitmsi ? - k THE BOOK AT i jr-- i ed stuff is coming off the of your head it can get real material Like some writers they also get caught up in “living life’s dark edges in search of more material One comedian friend told me she was looking forward to getting divorced so she could do more divorce material t: Wt 7 1 ment comes much later You live and die in 10-3- 0 minutes If the crowd is too drunk or you fail to act contains stolen material Most comedians don't make up Few would do a joke stout growing up in an alcoholic ommGESfiBDi msmit |