Show ' rtrtfarai si (&L jffiit' :' eWVt£ w jNinfot fr-g- Page 14 — The Herald Journal Logan Utah Friday April 19 r v y iSET - DEAR ANN LANDERS: My wife a id I have been married 37 yean and for the most art have had a good life The reason I am writing is that we haven’t had sex in over nine years “Emma” says she was sexually abused by a family friend when she was a child and has an aversion to sex I have always known that she did not enjoy it much and I often asked her for suggestions on what I could do to make it better for her She finally said that stopping altogether would help her more than anything She has told me she has no problem with my finding someone else as long as I just leave her alone I have never followed her sugperson and gestions I am not an attractive-lookin- g reel that since she has rejected me no one else would be interested either Plus I was brought up to believe that marriage vows are sacred Emma has told me it doesn’t matter to her if we stay together and have a comfortable life or if I go my own way She said either choice is OK with her I have tried to persuade her to see a counselor but she says it won t help Do you have any suggestions for me? — Married Man in Memphis DEAR MEMPHIS: I commend you for your generosity of spirit Most husbands would be bitter about such rejection and leap at the chance to look Bed-wetti- ng By Peter H Gott MD Newspaper Enterprise Association I 1 bed-wetti- ng absorbent posable underpants for the past year I feel products like this are infantilizing and that the only appropriate response to is to use alarms bed-weltin- drugs and the like in an aggressive attempt to end the husband feels tiroblem My putting pressure on her for problems she’ll outgrow anyway Am I wrong in my thinking or should I pursue my beliefs for her sake? DEAR READER: In my opinion you are correct that using diapers in a girl is infantilizing This activity certainly couldn't do much for her However I disagree that alarms are the answer either Drugs? Perhaps You may be aware of a new ' lion nasal spray (DDAVP) feat contains a irmone which reduces urination When given at bedtime DDAVP significantly reduces I am certain feat piany re?dcn suspe- -— that your stepdaughter s problem could have a psychological' taiise’ Here’ydu ife' iii' A hew carrbed-wetti- self-estee- m bed-wetti- iage competing with your stepdaughter for her father's attention that bringing guns into Canada would result in a stiff fine and confiscation of the weapon In Mexico this mistake can also result in legal seizure of your car and even lengthy jail terms for people who did not intend to do any wrong This can be particularly traumatic in a foreign country where you may not speak the language We recently worked with Mexican and US authorities to have warning signs placed at Texas border crossings However with the new law in Texas that authorizes people to obtain permits to carry concealed weapons we fear feat visitors may inadvertently enter Mexico wife guns and suffer the consequences As millions of readers see your column every day we would appreciate your printing this letter as a reminder to your readers of the risks of bringing firearms into Mexico — Larry Colbert American consul general Gudad Juarez Oiitimtma Mexico DEAR CONSUL GENERAL COLBERT I am pleased to print your letter informing my readers that they risk a jail term and the loss of their car Her regression to more child-lik- e behavior may represent an attempt on a primitive level to "get him back" And boy is she succeeding You now have a game of “Uproar!” u your own house She’s wetting he's diapering you’re complaining — fee family is frantic She’s getting major attention and at fee same time undermining your confidence and authority What father can resist taking his daughter’s side against fee “wicked stepmother” who is urging aggressive remedies for the problem? Maybe I’m overplaying this but it wouldn’t hurt for you and your husband to analyze the dynamics in fee family You are the interloper no doubt Can you encourage your stepdaughter to acknowledge this competition to share her anger and frustration to work through the problem of control and manipu- Whir My DILBERT I CAN I USE RAKE YOUR OF MORE CREATIVE EMPLOYEES FAY POETRY SPECIAL BLEND AND DANCE WHO GOT PAID TO DANCE URE THAT- - TO TOUCH THEIR SOULSi AND SPIRITUALLY THERE ONCE WAS A DOG WITH A HAT FULFILLED W SOUL JUST HEALED1 ARLO AND JANIS MrtiXniTBAI&AD) inWttUMCIT D0C6WT LOOK GOOD flDYouWTji mxu Nwm miY DOUTUtt IT AATUIUGr JA5WT6VW GRKZWELLS frcffTOmLttNEdPT TNDOIMoFttORlkSWH JR6MINE r J lation to establish a new and healthy balance between fee adults and children? In any case your stepdaughter needs to know that ahe is loved secure and accepted She must be allowed to come to grips wife fee scariness of a new family unit She has to believe feat her father loves her unconditionally — but feat he loves you too and there’s plenty to go around g Therefore alarms and drugs for may not be appropriate in this situation As you can see may Answer the frpfe my Ipog-wjnjustM the tip of the iceberg feli inappropriateMhavlofintf pEanybcyour stepdaughter Y convoluted cry for nclp Tkke her in your anna and begin the healing process bed-wettin- bed-wetti- ng r bedn Old HEYJ full-blo- v: t Newspaper Enterprise Association VIRGO (Aug 22) The people you expect to help you with something you hope to For use Saturday April 20 1996 ever a more competent substitute may fill in 23-Se- pt achieve might make themselves unavailable 23-Oc- How- GARFIELD 23) Tbday abrasive tactics L will not help you to accomplish your goals but charm will The good guys will be lucky today and fee bad guys will finish last SCORPIO (Oct 22) There could be Your Birthday Impressive gains are possible in fee year ahead in conjunction with individuals wife whom you share strong emotional ties Work on projects you can share with family members or loved ones 24-N- ov some unexpected developments in your household today but you will not mind them a bit They will stem from a benign situation y TAURUS (April Your that indicates chut 20) you might become involved in some type of profitable arrangement today TTy not 20-Ma- SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23-D- 21) A hastily ec formed partnership arrangement may not have been constructed fairly However this problem can be corrected today if you speak your mind CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Ja-n 19) By performing al services for others today you can receive returns These benefits may last for only a few days so get moving b AQUARIUS (Jan 19) If you gamble on anything today make sure it’s on one of your own ideas You will have good luck but others might not be as fortunate PISCES (Feb 20) You can find strength in numbers today Something substantially beneficial for you and your family can be realized if everyone's intentions are in harmony ARIES (Much 19) Someone who can to include unproductive lirger-than-usu- spectators GEMINI (May J should they try to bring firearms into Mexico Thank you for this official word Muchas gracias por su carta LIBRA (Sept vJ t&ASlJGS&T-- elsewhere Since Emma refuses to go with you to a counselor I suggest that you go alone You need guidance from a professional who will get the whole story Get going please DEAR ANN LANDERS: Here at the US consulate general in Gudad Juarez Mexico we read with great interest the letter advising your readers Horoscope By Bernice T FOR BETTER OR WORSE may be child’s cry for help DEAR DR GOTT: What’s your opinion of the psychological effects of having an older child wear a diaper for a problem? My new husband has had his daughter wearing dis- 4 rN 1996 Patient husband should seek counseling By Arm Landers 1996 Creators Syndicate wr V vSb 21-Ju- ne 20) You might have a change of heart today in 20-Fe- regard to a development in which you initially felt imposed upon You will learn a valuable lesson CANCER (June 22) The influence you exert today will have an uplifting influence on others If someone you like needs encouragement a pat on the back from you will mean a lot LEO (July 23-A22) Today do not deprive yourself of a group activity you find enjoyable just because you happen to dislike one of the partid- pants 20-Mar- ch 21-Ju- iy 21-Ap- ril help you to satisfy an immediate need can be approached more easily if a friend intervenes Let your pal try to speed up the process Crossword Friday April 19 1999 ACROSS r 1 13 Unclaimed mU WcMteNoUa out 43 Catdgara 49—1 tANOf FBtfCAST fOf 786 SUN TO (VtNTUAUY lOUAM INTO ITftUF StTTlNS Off A NOVA WL0U0N M SprttcUke 17 Upmriooa 31 Batrak bogally) Dm 11 DiUtitUrp SI Colof 11 belaud SS Exploai (abfcf) S3 Siiio ayllablc IS Jacob'ahria 34 Srnarita'ti 54 14 Bartrifird S3 AUkrtUoia SSTMcfc 34 TdcUc Si Carta— prtdc 15 Oa a prod act la 37 Material Tiring 14 Oy I Urddiakdyr 17 ActiraJoaoM— W Otflokaltaffix 19 Lmowtartigto — 9 AclarCalkoaa ’3 U TWodlra toe Tic-- -- n 41 ' ft76t V 7887 MU tNSUlf 786 WNtt Attntpt latkal btBt S'-'-- Patrick— y wJ- - v' i fr hi ir Hft Atfiil THE BORN LOSER TWiCDKRCCr! 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