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Show Through tbe hot, black breutb of the burnin boat Jim Bludsoe's voice was beard. all had trust In his cussedness The first number of The Protest And And knowed be would keep bis word. youre born, they all got oil has appeared, and it will deceive no- And, sures tbe smokestacks fell. Afore body. It is issued by what may be And Bludsoe's ghost went up alone In the smoke of tbe Prairie Hell. known as the Oat Meal Trust, with no saint, but at jedgment headquarters in New York City and HeIdweren't run a chance with Jim The Longside of some pi us gentlemen $1 ,000,000 to spend in advertising. w uldnt shook bands with him. Oat Meal Trust buys oats at one cent HeThat seen bis duty, a dead sure thing, And went for it thar and then, a pound, grindathem up and sells them And to be too hard Christ aint to the sucker public at twelve and one-ha- lf On a man that died for men . BOOKS AND AUTHORS. cents a pound. Some time ago the announcement was made that there would be printed in England at the Crockham Hill, sign of the Hop-polEden Bridge, which is in Kent, a monthy periodical to be called The Protest. It was to be modeled after The Philistine, a meritorious production by Elbert Hubbard, published at East Aurora, N. Y. The first announcement was somewhat deceptive, as it outlined what purported to be a monthly periodical published in the interest of good literature. The first issue, which ' is at hand, is a cheap attempt at imitating the work of Elbert Hubbard, and for advertising Sloppy adverpurposes exclusively. to ape good tried have tising agents have conBhould when they writing, fined themselves to the pages of almanacs. The bill boards of the United States contain the highest literary efforts of the publishers of The Protest." This is an age of advertising, but to place advertisements on the sides of a hearse would sfiow infinitely more taste than is displayed by the questionable genius of the Oat Meal Trusts ada e, vertising fakirja. ft .ft It is not generally known that John Natchez-Under-the-H- ill And this was all the religion he had To treat bis engine well: Never be passed on the river; To mind the Pilot's bell ; And if ever the Pruirte Bell took fire, A thousand times he swore. Hed hold her nozzle ugln the bank Till the last soul got ashore. All 1 oats has their day on the Mississlp, And her day come at Inst ; The Movastar was a better boat, But tbe Bell she wouldnt be passed. And so she came tearing along thut night The oldest craft on the lire With a nigger squat on her sarety valve And her furnace crammed, rosin and pine. The flre burst out as she cleared the bar, And burnt a hole in the night. And quick as a flash she turned and made For that wilier bank on the right. Ifcere was runnin and cursin, but Jim yelled out- - all the Infernal roar: again the bank Till the lust g pivot wtoor:' Til hold her nozzle A queer spscimen recently received in New York from the tropic regions of South America is the lantern bug On the front of Its head is a hollow extension, large and colored red hnd yellow. At night when the bug does its flying the hollow head piece acts as a reflector around the phosphorescent glow in its center. Umbrellas Drncte Power. In Siam a magnate s dignity and ft ft power are reckoned according to the minor of of umbrellas he possesses. the number one F. Ben. King, One of these magnates Is proud to beAmerican poets who died in 1894 at with Lord of Tairty-seve- n Bowling Green, Kentucky, left a small gin his titles Umbrellas. Among certain book of poems lhat were gathered African tribes the grandeur of the inand published after his dividual increases with the size and death. The profits on the sale of the not with the number of umbrellas he book went to his wife and children, possesses. ther who lived for a time at St. Joseph, Mich., and afterwards in Chicago. Ben. Kings genius was not of the common sort. He first wrote under the pen name of Bow Hackley, the MichiHis poems were stolen by gan Bard. various hack writers and republished over their own names, as though theft from an unknown genius was a perfectly legitimate occupation. Ben. Kings death occured while he was giving public readings from his own poems, in company with Opie Read, the novelist. One of his characteristic poems is called The Pessimists Lament, and is as follows: THE PESSIMISTS Many Indians in Mexico. Mexico has more Indians than' any other American country. In all, they number about 2,800,000. The Argentine Republic has also over 3,000,000 Indians. Prevalence of Among civilized nations 4 per cent of the men and 1 per cent of the womTh8 Chinese are en are color-blinthe only people free from color-blinness. Color-Blindnes- s. d. d I 4 4 9 I I ft TTTTfTTTTTfTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTITTTTTT Teacher r- STUOIOr 131 K. FIRST SO. TTTTTTUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTUTTTWTTTTTTTHTTTTTTnTe fhonm 80S i CoaJ Lumber 60 W. Second South. Yard 363 W. Fifth South. .... ; - THOMAS hOMERi Lessee TELEPHONE and Manager 141 CAPITAL ITKOOKM Fluid Tbe Electric os controlled and arrange far us is a per-- ' Does everything it is re Dues It well. The use ot well mu de fret servant quiredtodo ... Ekctricil Goods latest designs by experienced electricians gives to our woik that quality of the bliss her maiden kiss. Her Innocence betraying in the cry, how can you respect me after this? Another time, all dalllant and slow. To those deluscious lipR I bended low. And at the second kiss she only said. Do you do this to every girl you know? U ito that flowery cup I bent once more; Again ehe showed no seeming to abhor. But at the third kiss all she asked or wist Was. Is this all you come to see me for? of Music. -- Nothing to breathe but air, rosy-tinte- Nora Gleason. Miss Nothing to do but work. Nothing to eat but food, Nothing to wear but clothes To keep one from going nude . d Dumbly he saw the When Zamperlna kissed H cures. The fancy for Staffordshire houses 3till continues, and ladles have taken to lighting up their drawing rooms with them. They put a tiny lamp h,. side, so that the light shall show through the windows of the diminutive house or castle. These houses were first made for candlesticks, and later on were chiefly used as pastille burners in the days when people thought It unhealthy to ventilate a sick room. LAMENT. Quick as a Hash tls gone; Hay, secretary of state and one of the Nowhere to fall but off, Nowhere to stand but on. most distinguished diplomatists of the for country age, once wrote rhymes Nothing to comb but balr. Nowhere to sleep but in bed, is he that is said It newspapers. to weep but tears, Nothing ashamed of hi9 early literary efforts- Notbing to bury but dead. and yet there spems to be no occasion Nothing to sing but songs, Ab, well, alas! alack! of his first for disowning the products Nowhere to get but cait, Nowhere to come but back. pen. Ills very earliest poem, written when he was still a young man, is just Notbing to see but sights, Notbing to quench but thirst. as meritorious now as when it first made Nothing to have but what weve got, Thus thro life we are cutsed. its appearance in the columns of a country newspaper in Southern Illinois. Nothing to strike but a gait: Everything moves that goes. The poem will be recognzed by many Nothing at all but common sense Can ever withstand these woes. who never dreamed that Secretary Hay is the author. Why he should disown ft ft Jim Bludsoe, with all its quatatness The Shepard Book company has reand excellence, is difficult to underceived a number of copies of the latest stand. Following is the poem: work of Wallace Irwin, with illustraJIM ULUDROE. tions and cover design by Gelett BurWall, no, I cant tell wbar be lives, gess. It is called The Rubaiyat oi lleoause he don't live, you see: habit out of the Omar Khayyam Jr., being a parody Leastwise, hes got Of livin like you and me. on the original Rubaiyat. It is an Whar have you been for the last three year That you haven't heard folks tell extravagant travesty in slang and an How Jimmy Bludsoe passed in bis checks Bell? Prairie of Tbe night the extraordinary burlesque. Here is au excerpt from the book: saint-th- em He werent no engineers Is all pretty much alike One wife in And another one here In Pike. A keei less in his talk was Jim. And an awkward man in a row: Bnt he never flunked and he never lied I reckon he never knowed how. CtafTordshire South Americas Lantern Bug. which all mso of judgment approve. Wiring fo' Bells. Telephones, Annunciators. Burglar Alai ms and Electric Light. Oh, Ttlepbcoe?, CbMjdelicrs, Etc. Inter-Mount- ain Electric Go. 45 E. first Soalh |