Show -- 426 Sunday June The Salt Lake Tribune - - r 417 - - ' 9 1991 Tour of UN Opens Doors to Melting Pot of Policies Cultures son of the Soviet Union criticizes By Sid Moody THE ASSOCIATED Sweden's compulsory detention for alcoholism to the Human Rights Commission of the General Assembly "There is always room for improvement even in Sweden" Waled Sadi of Jordan protests that Britain's blasphemy laws only protect Christianity North Delegate's Lounge: An anonymous staffer: Under U:N auspices the International Maritime Organization standardized crane hooks so dockside cargo could be lifted worldwide The International Aviation Organization made plane ramps umform height so passengers could alight safely from Abidjan to Zanzibar Cliche: "If the UN didn't exist it would have to be reinvented" Room 1005: Peacekeeping Resourceful be the peacekeepers One got his car towed out of an Egyptian desert by offering a colonel a copy of Playboy Another escaped being taken hostage by writing his captors a check — bogus — for $1 million not the reason however UN peacekeepers won a 1988 Nobel Prize On call be the peacemakers Austrian Maj Gen Gunther Greindl was located skiing an Alp on a Saturday Monday he was in New York Wednesday in Iraq to take command of the peacekeeping force Troops from 38 nations were almost as rapidly assembled The Swiss provided two planes Chile a helicopter and 50 crewmen Canada an engineering unit Cost: $80 million for the PRESS : UNITED NATIONS — If Earth is a baseball the United Nations is a Hall of Fame season : When the Security Council talks 4- in the past all it did — Saddam Hussein listens When Haiti finally holds a free election the United Nations monitors it When Afghanis flee when earthquakes tremble Nicaragua when Iraq seeks peace even when pyramids crumble UN blue is there The United Nations succors trains inoculates advises feeds bankrolls data banks uncounted millions of Earths 52 billion inhabitants Daily I Yet for all of this for all of its majestic windowed translucence along Manhattan's East River it Can seem opaque humdrum a dream failed - The United Nation's bureaucracy its institutional phobia of inquiry can be stifling There is na- tional nepotism hypocrisy ineptitude — old gag: "How many people work at the UN?" "About half — even corruption But riaany of its achievements unsung have changed the world Better ytt its better element still tries to To get a sense of the United Nations let's begin somewhat randomly door by door through the complex The famous glass slab Emerald-tintetowers across First Avenue Up in the waist of the Secretariat building is a British translator who eight months pregnant once was down on all fours in Addis Ababa interpreting from an Ethiopian map to her Congolese boss so he could tell two Canadian hush helicopter pilots where to look for a Brazilian doctor missing et route to one of the worlds last cases of smallpox The United Nations ideal in a nutshell from many tongues one purpose A Basement Committee Room: Expert witness Rein A Myuller it Iraq-Kuwa- d y first six months Worldwide peacekeeping from Lebanon to Kashmir cost $360 million last year And since World War 700 lives Sidewalk First Av enue: Flags of the 159 members — there used to be 161 until two Yemens and two Germanys merged — are changed twice a year Theres room for 10 more poles Security Li Jimmy Kearns: "If there's been a revolution we don't change to a new flag until we've heard from protocol Room 20IA: Aly Teymour chief a Call '' — '' ale-1-- 4::-w$1-'----:---7-i--- nmse t i:4 x 4 !' 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It l''''"i : - - ' 1 : topiti - ' ' '' i '1011"'117104:41glik41 tT- ip (i '': : dIEVIlear4Aat - !: '' '' '''ktx:" - ' : l lier-41r- 9 - ' ft - tcri - 1'al - e "- - 4 : -' a 4'i il Ip 1 - ' - li - a1 Yt - -- ' - et - - : :44- l'''' if 711 1: ') 1- - Ai K it Nt - -- '' ' 11: r: f - 4 - pla : 4i '' tC: : - N 7akkt - C 1 I t '0 -- - - PEIC 0 11:14" Ay ' ‘ NA leo - rt - — i— AI - - o- 'ti 1!''' 41 s s - 41 I s : MMME c - ' 0 004e"k 3e 7 A '': 4 — 1' I UTAH POWER ' '' Reg Price - O - f - 4 this summer don't blow it see your dealer dealer They're certified Al 0 - be smart about staying cool W li 1 financing st So if you want to : S0 - Column A-2- 7 - WARRANTY 10-Y- 3 LvlorNITDs:: - low-intere- efficient central air con- - O See central air and heat pump cooling experts trained to design and install highly efficient air conditioning systems tailored to your needs Ind as a Utah Power customer you may qualify for special solution is as easy as a H-PR- e DC2-042- it Iraq-Kuwa- ditioning is the best way to chase away summer's blazing heat your local 99-pag- Cluster: "I Harmonization blows hot air only and you'll find excuse to look in the freezer call to DC2-142- haven't a clue" Reference Library: Most in demand: past treaties ROOM 1552: Document Control From here UN papers are prioritized and routed to more than 150 translators of the six UN official languages: English French Spanish Arabic Russian and Chinese The paper chase of a clause — ' and in particular humanitarian needs' — to be eliminated from a key Security Council resolution on "the situation between Iraq and Jewish groups t - e Summer is here and so are those long hot sweltering days NM Treaty Room: Twenty-fiv- e thousand of them are on shelves Statistics William -Seltzer head: Without statistics the UN stops tomorrow' Each member is asked to answer periodquestionnaire of ically a the from length of the nafigures tion's gas pipelines highway deaths movies produced libraries crime to plane schedules and GNP "The contributions of women are not completely measured A classic example: A woman in the Third World holding a baby in one hand and feeding chickens with the other A motherhood statistic? Agriculture?" Law of the Sea There is none yet because the United States its eyes on the potential of seabed mining has failed to ratify a convention that took since 1969 and miraculous international harmony among Russia Europe Japan and the Third World Gwenda Matthews a lithe Australian administrative officer to a staff of 36 who has labored 23 years to refine a treaty almost all the world but Washington wants: "All the crucial things are in place but we're well stuck on seabed mining and damn well stuck It's the only guarantee of real order — territory fishing environ- Norway screwed up its math and owes us $15 The United States (which pays 25 percent of the budget) owes $2962 million from prior years" Susan is asked to leaf through the labyrinth of the UN phone directory on an explanatory tour: Contributions Section: "One lady willed us some oil wells in a bog in California We couldn't accept because of the cost" Human Resources Management: "We don't have the resources to recruit all over the world I bet a guy there was still a large well of idealism at the UN He doubted we'd get volunteers to oversee Namibian independence" (Thousands of volunteers applied and went) ftez Anti-Semitis- Kurds and For contributions : - - fusing" Lichtenstein Czechoslovakia claimed they looked like Jews Anthony Four-acrstamp boss: We said we were sorry if anyone thought so Room Renata Kaczmarska head of the UN Esperanto Club the international language that never made it even — especially — at the United Nations "I'm afraid its an uphill struggle" United Nations in Esperanto: Unuigintaj Nacioj Room 2770-C- : Treasurer's of - ? IV - am- bank a bing you check with a nation's mission to see if its permissible My favorone I am not ite? If I say I have bead of protocolRoom 09311: Refugees German Romero says some 2000 UN personnel provide for 15 million refugees — the Horn of Africa Mozambique Cambodia Afghanistan It costs half a billion dollars a year $450 million from voluntary s - 'it"- - hook-nos- j 4 TOTALLY MAINTENANCE-FRE- 'iT''' "'"1'15 :"kio 40-:-' coming back but is Handkissing NO PAINTING NO WEATHERING NO TERMITES NO DRY ROT ' - 0 ' - 06010114alvi'lewiiial-- :'': t ii: - 41'4 g fr 1 : :' DC2-062- MinisterAmbassadorabedul' F11-1- cri- - f t -- -- - '7'''! ' '21 ' chain-smokin- out in Cambodia we'll have another 350000 to resettle "I wouldn't want to work in any other part of the UN- Room Stamps The United Nations has issued 914 different stamps that brought in $4 million last year A series on crime men in showed three tall hats and long black coats rob- rtz : 5 ill pRoany - loop00 T 1 11444414eltikvi-emireVe - '' A 4 ?g and a little TurkishRecently greeted in quick order former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher the Luxembourg ambassador the Ibedul (chieftain) of Palau a former US Aluiy mess sergeant 'If its nice I tell them 'You certainly brought us beautiful weather Your MajestyPrime PROFESSIONAL DEALER : -- - - lit 1:----- details objectives of the body including welfare of the world of protocol official greeter masShiites we'll have to raise $200 ter of small talk in five- languages million in 90 days If peace breaks -- CONDITIONING 4 'If ' 7 tour guide in the United Nations General Assembly hall PovvER somalw -- Kuwait" (to avoid the minefield of whether the Gulf War took place in the Gulf of Arabia or the Persian Gulf) is followed through the translating process and up elevator and down: Slam a Russian translator with a desk of dictionaries to get -Russian equivalents precise: I had a lot of trouble recently translating "ventilated improved pit latrine The acronym is VIP Is con- fice Investor Yuhei Sakurada plays drums in the UN jazz band A South African plays bass an American the guitar and a Canadian sings "In English and French For the time being- Room 2627: Budget office of Sucareer san Mills American UN civil servant and highly placed woman Triple rarity "The US owes half of '89 and all of '90 and '91 The good guys who pay their assessments on time are the Nordics Canada Austria Malaysia Botswana Ethiopia N The kosonated Pres A HEATING 8 AIR 44:041A 7-7-:a t- I t I - - Nr:kg - t"rIiw:—t' ra 4121040114 41mito 11644tio:42 di 4 it dQZ 7 4' :1 - - - 07 6A'''' :arg--tr- ‘ - N-- 7 f' l jV I : Ncc0 '1111114151141 4 - ' A '4 - :' 4 - : : - t4!'':42'g:--77:-- tiF!'''''''rrr:"r'7 ' 'pr tPi ' -- :"-- t7m' k :''- - fence FANTABOARD which is white rail or Write: PK ENTERPRISES 461 N 1300 East Frud Heights Utah a4037 IS OFFERING i t' I WHITE RAILFENCE THAT NEVER NEEDS PAINTING 'RM ENTERPRISES ' h 1MRk (untli(IN kN IRK Urnfn lov |