| Show The Salt Lake Tribune Sunday November 26 1989 Discipline more and punish less By Thomas R Lee PhD Associate Professor and Extension Specialist College of Family Life Utah State University LOGAN — When you hear the word "discipline" what kind of image comes to mind? Probably not lecstiung even though the word' discipline comes' from a Latin parents though when we tell a child "I'm going to teach you a lesson!" teach ing is probably not PflinfJ tn tato Dr Lee place We often use punishment as a form of discipline but as a teaching technique punishment is not very effective I Punishment is still the most often used form of discipline According to one study done in 1977 parents reported using the following forms of discipline: yelling or scolding — 52 percent spanking — 50 percent sending to room — 38 percent restricting from play or TV — 32 percent and sending to bed threaten- - these negative Unfortunately techniques tend to have negative side effects The main one is that children who are treated negatively tend to respond negatively A child who is screamed at tends to scream at others A child who is spanked is more likely to hit others Other side effects include resentment low and insecurity In addition children are less likely to develop their own conscience and internal controls when negative discipline is used They worry more about getting caught than doing what is right There are other teaching tech-- " niques that are more useful than punishment Being human as parents we will lose our patience and not use what we know But the more we can have a variety of teaching tools at our disposal the more we can adapt what we do to the situation and the child rather than falling into the same old pattern These tools can be grouped into three categories — preventive supportive and corrective PREVENTIVE: The ideal is to keep behavior from occurring in the SUPPORTIVE: Children don't usually intend to be bad They get restless feel discouraged or get carried away in their activity Being aware of when misbehavior first starts and responding quickly to help a child maintain can avoid a big problem Catch a child's eye and use head shakes frowns or a hand signal to help them catch themselves without others needing to be aware of it Remove objects that are creating a problem with a simple "I'll hang on to this for a while" Praising a child for good behavior is supportive discipline Reminding a child of the rules as they begin to have a problem is also in the supportive category CORRECTIVE: Even if we effectively use preventive and supportive methods there will be the need for correction sometimes self-contr- holiday tips Money-savin- g By United Press International William Sauer a consumer consultant for retail companies and a visiting professor at Susquehanna University in Selinsgrove Pa offers the following tips for shoppers to avoid overspending for the holidays: — Set a budget on how much you can afford to spend — List the people for whom you plan to buy gifts — Decide how much you will spend per person — Decide on the gift you will buy for each person — Choose at least two alternate gifts if your first choice is unavailable Alternatives will prevent impulse purchases and keep you within a budget " first place This is not done just by wishing but by planning ahead For example if you know that bringing home a treat results in arguments over who gets what preventive discipline suggests thinking ahead about how to deal with that 1 Let children know what they can do Have areas for play toys and equipment for children to use and sometimes planned activities When kids are involved they don't get into trouble 2 Agree on rules Four or five are enough Rules should include consequences for breaking them Discuss them so everyone understands 3 Set an example Be polite show respect and be thoughtful of your children's needs Avoid sarcasm Much of what children learn is "caught" from example rather than "taught" through words self-estee- word meaning to' teach or instruct ' "As ing giving chores and taking away allowance on down the list — Shop at outlets department stores and specialty shops for specials on popular gifts Don't feel you have to buy all gifts at one place — Start shopping early especially n for children's toys prices may be lower on some items — Avoid using credit cards Interest payments can add up Pre-seaso- HEALTH WATCH Physical reactions to stress areas where Insomnia Chronic fatigue Btood-preteu- follow-throug- as pos- is im- h Heart attack cramp Irritated-bow- -— iw ' IS SOURCE: Working Woman I IS el yndrome Mucl consequences for breaking that rule?" Carry them out without hosy Coid ore re Stomach Impotence (men) matter-of-factl- or Headache and migraine problem it against the rules?" Child responds Don't accept excuses if you want to foster responsibility 4 "What did we agree were the tility but as sible Consistent stress-relate- d Weight gain or tots way) "Is stress Here are some of the problems can show up Illness may be the body's response to This is where we usually come in with the punishment But corrective discipline doesn't have to be traumatic It should stress personal responsibility and help children see how their behavior led to the consequences they experience Here is one set of steps to use: 1 Stop the behavior 2 Ask the child to evaluate his or her behavior by asking "What are you doing?" (The child will respond if the question is asked in a 3 W5 pame Ulcers Hive Menstrual irregularity mgxtn Copley News ServiceKen Marshall portant Ways to use the herbs you grow 5 "What will work better next time?" Help the child think of alternatives and a plan to carry them out Express trust in the child's ability to do better Sometimes parents will be too upset to use these steps In that case say "I'm too upset to talk about this right now We'll discuss it later" If the children are upset they also will need time to settle down before this can be effective If you lose your cool apologize and start back with step two For the child to feel responsibility and learn it is essential that this kind of discussion takes place These three categories of discipline methods are based on respect Respect for ourselves and our children results in strengthening family relationships By Lynn O'Meara Orlando Sentinel Writer Growing herbs is just the beginning Putting them to use is where the fun begins Here are some suggestions for using herbs: — Fill a Perrier bottle with an assortment of herbs to take as a gift — Make designer ice cubes Select clean pesticide-freedible blossoms or leaves such as impatiens marigolds borage or mint Boil water and allow to cool Fill ice tray with water add herbs and alio to freeze Use as accents for tea or other beverages — Make herbal tea Take a quart of water that has just begun to boil and toss in a handful of fresh leaves such as lemon balm or mint Steep for five to seven minutes strain and serve For company add a regular tea bag to the mix Otherwise says Dolores McCrory "The tea looks like yellow e ! ' water" — Create an Italian seasoning blend Mix 50 percent dried basil with 25 percent each dried parsley and oregano — Make flavored butters Scften butter then add caraway thyme lemot thyme dill basil or a combination Salt if necessary Form into shapes then "J freeze — Stock flavor cubes Process herbs in blender with water then freeze ' Use as needed in soups or other dishes XRAFTCBOTEpl Executive jobs m i ALL OF YOUR STITCHERY NEEDS AND MORE! 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