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Show The harem skirt ought to tool the mouse some. The farmer, unlike the consumer, goes to seed in the spring. Soon again the housefly will engage attention as an enemy to mankind. Missouri has the corncob pipe record. rec-ord. This, however, is not regarded as a sporting event. And the industrious cow has taken her place in the hall of fame beside the industrious hen. According to an English professor, the human race is 170,000 years old. It hasn't much sense for Its age. Now Wellesley proposes to raise cats for laboratory purposes, why not utilize them for the glee club, also? The witchcraft of 200 years ago Is now called malignant animal magnetism, magne-tism, and it is the same old article. Twenty-five million persons smoked Missouri corncob pipes last year, and half of them borrowed the tobacco. Along with taxing bachelors why not give away a marriage license de luxe and a first payment on a parlor set At the same time we are forced to admire the bravery of those young women who walk abroad in harem skirts. "Love is love," opines an expert on heartology, name unknown.' Likewise Like-wise pigs is pigs and prunes is prunes. We see by the papers that France Is facing a crisis. It strikes us that facing crisis is a chronic disease In France. We are told that Russia has hurled another ultimatum at China. If the czar keeps on he won't have any ultimatums ulti-matums left Wagner in English is promised for next season. We can't understand why. The words are always unintelligible, unintel-ligible, anyhow. Three New Jersey "sportsmen" who went out for fox hunting are on trial for killing deer. Possibly New Jersey rabbits wear horns. The Los Aneeles man who was sent to Jail for 30 days for smiling at a strange woman evidently does not see the point of the joke. Automobiles to the number of 460,-000 460,-000 are flitting here and there in this country, but all their flitting does not reduce the cost of mules. The average life of a statesman is said to be 71 years. This doesn't necessarily conflict with the old theory the-ory that the good die young. Those Chicago crooks who stole a 600 pound safe in the dead of night evidently missed their calling. They should have been piano movers. The Marquis of Landsdowne's Rembrandt, Rem-brandt, valued at $500,000, may go into in-to the National gallery and then again It may be brought to America. An Illinois husband has offered a reward of $25 for the return of his missing wife. "That's all she Is worth," he says. That is love. Some of these scraps in European parliaments are terrible affairs. Think of that Turk who had his ears boxed. He might have had his wrist slapped. Two princes and twenty counts are reported to be hunting for rich American Ameri-can girls, with a view to matrimony. We look for the exportation of more American gold before long. The hobble skirt is said to be responsible re-sponsible for the large increase of trolley car accidents, but it will take more than a trolley car to ram the hobble skirt out of existance. The son of the richest woman in the world has been receiving 200 proposals pro-posals a month since it was published that he was inclined to wed. In this case, it is surmised on purely circumstantial, circum-stantial, but conclusive, evidence that the acquisition of a mother-in-law Is the prime object of these susceptible feminine hearts. Now a London health expert says that prevalent Ideas of cleanliness are wrong, and that too much washing increases in-creases the microbes of the skin. At the rate at which present impressions are being destroyed of the right way to live it is little short of a miracle that the human race has survived to the present day |