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Show SOUTHERN UTAH NEWS WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 20, 2000 Community Domestic Blitz v ' i -- S By Dixie Brun ner Ten things that make me feel 7 f Scrooge-is- h Christmas is my favorite time of year. There is so much excitement and good cheer. However, there are a few things that make me feel a little like Scrooge. Here is Dixies List of Holiday Irritations. Christmas shopping begins too early Is it my imagination or are me your mommy or daddys wal- let, and 111 bring you what you want. HOLIDAY CASH What exactly does wassail mean? One Christmas carol encourages everyone to go wassailing. Does anyone have a clue as to what that word means? Have you ever considered that you might be agreeing to something illegal, immoral or fattening? Wassailing could be a code word for espionage work. retail stores playing Jingle Bells in J uly? By Halloween the stores are advertising last minute shopper specials! They should just kill two birds with one stone, The Christmas greeting and dress the Easter Bunny in a dilemma Santa Suit! Its a dilemma figuring out which If you shop early-yo- u type of Christmas greetpay should send. There are one ing mentally There have been several years three options available. The first where I actually got my Christ- being the Christmas greeting mas shopping done early. It gives card. These cards have a generic you such a sense of accomplish- Christmas greeting to which you ment, that is, until you get all warmly sign your John Henry. the advertisements, repeatedly Its basic and not at all painful. Your second option is the picreducing the price of gifts youve and card. People send picture ture wrapped. already purchased The satisfaction of getting it done cards of important things in their early is little comfort from the life such as a car, pet or usuallly mental anguish suffered when the kids. These are a wonderfiil you discover you spent 50 more way to update friends and loved ones on your changing family. than you had to. Its fun to see a picture of little Fruitcake so fruitcakes are popuWhy Johnny from Idaho, and note lar? Its one of the few foods that hes inherited his fathers where having chunks of green elephant ears. The only problem things in it, is actually encour- that I have with picture cards is that you never feel good about aged. Package wrapping getting rid of them. You cant It seems everyone else has throw away a picture of beautifully-wrappe- d presents, someones kid sitting on Santas me. Other people produce lap...its just not done. except handsomely-appointe- d Fve always written a Christgifts with esthetically-correpaper mas letter. Ann Landers said and coordinating ribbon. The once that holiday letters were presents I give on the other hand, boring, bragging little family are ugly and often hidden be- diatribes. My answer to that is, hind the tree. Their wrapping so what? Im really sure that requires a roll of scotch tape per friends and relatives dont want package. Family members pray to receive a letter announcing I dont get their name in the gift how many times Fve had to sit exchange. Its not that I give bad on a wet toilet seat in the past presents, its just that theyd be year, or how many times the too embarrassed to get caught family has had the flu, or how with that awful eyesore. many loads of laundry Fve done! Fll stick to the good stuff and Mall Santas Couldnt they do better? focus on the positive. It may be a Theyve really lowered Santa yawner occasionally, but since I standards if you ask me. I know dont put the kids picture on it, the real Santa cant be every- you dont have to feel guilty about where, but some of his stand-in- s throwing it away! Now that Fve gotten that off are ridiculous. It used to be a prerequisite for Saint Nick to my chest, I can focus on spreadhave a beard, fat belly and jolly ing some holiday cheer, without nature. Times have changed. The feeling seized with a case of the now Bah Humbug. guys theyve got bone-thin anorexics with I wish all of you much happiare bald, disorders. and joy in the holiday seaness personality Tell you what kid, you bring son and a joyous New Year, f f CAHD? Ike $1000 $500 QaiU Qau&i have uet to be nedeened! There are still many $5, $10, $20, $100 and Wild Cards left to redeem! Do you have one lying around? Redeem a WILD CARD & get your groceries FREE! Where are the (3) $1000 cards? f 'Q 'NWhere are the (3) $500 cards?''' Do you have one? J There are still (3) $1000 cards & 1 J (3) $500 cards yet to be redeemed! ' 3 chances to win $1000! 3 chances to win $500! Get them punched right away - were waiting! I n ct ng & y i Y z i , your cards today! ready have a $1003 card! ' GLAZIERS OIOIO 5111 . i |