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Show C4 DavisEntertainment Thursday, May 22, 2003 Davis County Clipper Don't bother killing the ref, focus attention forward A shrill whistle blast pene-trate- d the high school Z Agym. A clenched fist waved in the air while an accusing finger pointed out the teenage transgressor. an authoritative Thirty-five- ! voice intoned. Youre pushing!" The muscular young man with the number 35 on his basketball jersey groaned and grimaced, kicking the ball and stamping his foot like a who doesn't want to take a nap. 1 Iis coach stormed onto the floor to suggest, loudly and crudely, that the official who made the call is visually, mentally and ethically not necessarily in impaired that order. Meanwhile, fans focused their wrath on the referees appearance and ancestry, offering recommendations that -- SATURDAY MORNING are physiologically impossible and genetically unlikely. The entire gymnasium seemed to rage with vented anger and released frustration. And you know what happened? Nothing. No matter how many tantrums were thrown, no matter how many ugly epithets were flung, the referees call stood: a foul on number 35. For all that belligerent effort nothing changed except perhaps the diminished dignity of those who somehow seem to believe that you can leave your humanity in the car when you go to the gym. One of the great lessons that sports should teach us is that there are certain things that are always going to be beyond our control. Referees, coaches and 1 a ' i Ml players all make countless decisions during the course of a game. Some decisions are good, some are not. But even when a decision is made that is obviously incorrect, agonizing over it is a waste of time and energy (come when was the on, be honest last time you saw a ref listen to his hecklers, blow his whistle and say,Tm sorry, I must have been wrong. Lets take that foul off the MAY 24, 2003 By Joseph Walker books and start all over again). The most successful coaches and players focus their attention on responding to events as they happen, not on trying to change things after theyve already taken place. The same principle is true in real world settings, and it cane be viewed from a variety of different contexts. No amount of yelling can reconstruct a carelessly bro ken heirloom. A dying relationship isnt revived with water that has already passed under the bridge. A wound wont heal if you keep picking at the scab. And if you want your garden to grow youve eventually got to stop plowing the same ground. Get the idea? We are imperfect people living together on an imperfect planet. Our success here is not determined so much by our ability to control the external forces that influence our lives, but in our ability to respond to those forces in a productive and positive way. When bad things happen, as they inevitably will, the successful person will accept the challenge, and instead of wasting precious time and energy shaking a fist at the heavens and raging about the unfairness of it all, they will focus their attention on the most important matter: figuring out a way to deal with it. Please dont misunderstand. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with protesting injustice when we see it, or fighting for our rights when we truly believe we have been wronged. That is an appropriate way to respond to certain kinds of challenges. But weve got to pick our battles carefully and save our best efforts for the fights that really matter. Otherwise well find ourselves constantly at war with a world that is crammed full of frustrating possibilities at home, at work, at school, at church and on the basketball court. Especially on the basketball court. |