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Show Friday. January 18. 1980. THE HERALD. Provo. Utah—Page 17 With Randall Stoddard Merialice Smith To Speak Vows Deniece Woodard Marries Mr D Smith. Provo. announce the engagement Joseph Hawkinsin Temple sion He graduated from resource teacher at BYU with a bachelor's 4nd a master’s degree in of their daughter communicative dis Meriglice to Randall W orders Stoddard, son of Mr. and He 1s employed as a Mrs. Aaron Stoddard Orem. The marriagewill be performed March 29 in the Manti LDS Temple. The bride is a former Deniece Woodard, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Willis Woodard, Provo, and Joseph Allen Hawkins, son of Mr. and Mrs. Charles V Hawkins, Cody, Wyo., were married todayin the Salt Lake LDS Temple. A wedding breakfast followed the marriageat The Amberin Salt Lake City. A reception will honorthe couple this evening from 7 to 9 p.m. at the Women’s Cultural Hall in Provo. An open house will also fete the newlyweds Feb. 1 in Cosy Friends and relatives are invited to at- Julie Ballard Plans Tose. Pleasant Grove Young University as a registered and nurse She in the emergency room. The American Caner Society named er “*Miss Hope” for Utah in 1976. She also served an LDS health mission in Peru. Miss Smith is currently employed at the Provo Obstetric Clinic as a registered nurse. Julte Ballard, daughter of Mrs. Jeanine Ballard, Orem, and Mr. and Mrs. Erald L. Ballard, Pleasant Grove, and Craig B. Allman. son of Mr. and Mrs. Thomas M. Aliman, Orem. are planning a Jan. 26 marriage. Vows will be exchanged in the Orem 32nd LDS Ward, 1450 S. 800 E., Orem. A reception will follow at the samelocation Her fiance graduated Both Miss Ballard and the prospective bridegroom from Orem High School where he served as a cappella choir and Key Club president. He completed an LDS mission in the England - East Mis- graduated from Orem High School. Attending the bride will be Launa Bella, Collett Hoglund and DeAnnBallard.sisters of the bride. Brian Ward will perform best man honors. MRS. JOSEPH ALLEN HAWKINS (Deniece Woodard) After their marriage the couple plan to live in worked at Payson Hospital on the surgical and obstetrical floors January Wedding With Craig Allman *Atiending the bride will be Mrs. Phillip Harris, Laurence Snow, Mrs. Bruce Hawkins, Bertie Sue Bowler and Lonnie Hawkins They will wear floor-length burgandy quiana gowns, and each will hold a single long stemmed Draper Elementary in Jordan School District Newport Beach. Calif resident. She graduated from Provo High School and from Brigham JULIE BALLARD Y Ushers will be Randy and Chris Woodard. Special guests will include Mr. and Mrs. Del Humphrey, Las Vegas, Nev., and Mr. and Mrs. Elden Clyde, Sandy, grandparents of the bride. Ereevenhave been given Tamara Harris; by Shirley Clyde; and by Bertie Sue Bowler, Susan Beck and Vickie Jones. The bride juated from Provo High School and Snow College. She served an LDS mission in the Arkansas- Little Rock Mission. Mr. Hawkins is a graduate of Cody High School. He is currently a student at Brigham Young University. He served an LDS mission in Columbus, Ohio. The newlyweds will reside in Cody. and Mrs Harold After their marriage the couple will live in Ferron, Emery County. MERIALICE SMITH SIDE GLANCES Choices: She Requires Second Opinion . By KAREN BLAKER,Ph.D. DEAR DR. BLAKER — Recently you recommended family therapy to the-parent of a child who was misbehaving in school. I wasinterested to read for the first time aboutthis new kind of treatment. But could you explain in more detail why researchers believe that disturbed children’s behavior almost always stems from their parents’ marital problems? DEAR READER — Intheearly 1950s, researchers started studying the interaction between schizophrenic children and their mothers during visiting hours at a state mentalhospital. They saw problems in the mother-child re!ationship that were clearly caused by the mother. As « result, they coined the term ‘‘schizophrenogenic mother” — that is, a mother who creates a schizophrenic. As Augustus Napier and Carl Whitakersarcastical- ly point out their new book ‘‘The Family Crucible,’ mothers loved this period of payehlatrie history. DEAR READER— Disciplineis still necessary in That father indicated clearly that he had conflicting feelings about his son's misbehavior. On the other, he got a kick out of seeing his son display some spunk. At this point, their observations shifted to the Such conflicting expectations put a child in a real bind. That’s why I recommended family therapy. every case that the parents had severe, longstanding maritaldifficulties. “Furthermore,” write Napier and Whitaker,‘the psychotic episodes of the ‘patient’ seemed to be related to the cycles of marital conflict. “The parents would get into a battle, and as it beganto intensify the son (or daughter) would begin to become psychotic. Once hospitalized, the couple would call off their war in order to be, again, the In Provo : : : : : : child rearing, but it must be consistent. Then researchers turned their attention to the fathers of these children. They found the men to be generally distant and passive with their offspring. parents as a couple. It became evident in almost To Meet This research helped socialscientists start looking at the family as a system instead of ‘merely as a groupofindividuals. The familyitself is a functioning unit with fixed roles, goals and rules of behavior. Treating the family as suchis often the only way counselors can truly help one or more of its members. DEAR DR. BLAKER — I hope theparent with the disturbed son throws your advice in the trash. All that fresh kid needs is a good beating. Whatever happened to discipline? On one hand, he wanted the youngster to behave. by Gill Fox UAW parents of a ‘sick’ child. “Actually, their child’s disturbed behavior seemed to have a very practical result: It helped the couple deal with their conflict by giving them a way of avoidingit. The family’s very stability seemed to be maintained by the periodicillnesses.”” : Utah Association of Womenis planning a mock hearing Wednesday at 7:30 p.m. at the Provo Utilities Building. Purpose of the hearing is to discuss the ‘‘Yearof the Family.” This is an international program similar to the “Year of the Child” in 1979 Individuals and organizations will have an opportunity to express problems, concerns and ideas about family life, : which will be presented later at a county meeting. “| don't see why they can’t make vacuumssothe dirt aoesouttheelectric cord!” Does your job have you climbing the walls? Write for Dr. Blaker’s new hotline, ‘‘How to Reduce Job Stress.” Send 50 cents plus a stamped,self-addressed envelope to Dr. Blaker in care of this newspaper, P.O. Box 475, Radio City Station, New York, NY 10019. Write to Dr. Blaker at the above address. Volume of mail prohibits personal replies, but questions of generalinterestwill be discussed in future columns. ContemporaryLiving Nice Way is Smart Way By LETITIA (TISH) BALDRIGE Dear Ms. Baldrige: I’m a woman executive of a printing company.I would like to know how to handle what is probably the nicest problem that will ever presentitself inmy life: I've just received a big raise and a really important promotion. I'm delighted and proud beyond words. feelthere is someaction I should take, other than verbally thank my supervisor, which I’ve already done. Any advice? A., Houston Write your supervisor a letter of appreciation. Go on record to show your gratitude to the company.It would also be a good idea to write a short noteto the chief executive officer of the company, saying how much you appreciate the promotion, and that youwill work hard andeffectively to justify their continuing faith in you. When your co-workers congratulate you, thank each of tiem for the kind words and mention privately in a noa-syrupy way how each helped contribute to your success, Dear Ms. Baldrige: ' am partnerin a consulting firm. Oneof our mostprestigiousclients, a company with whicl. we have had a successfulrelationship for 12 years, has not renewedour contractfor the first time. I subsequently heard via the grapevine that a marketing executive in that company, for reasons I cannot imagine, has been bad-mouthing me.I had no idea he wasso bitter against me. I would like to know what you suggest I do with this humanrelations ee Believe me, we were not canceled out ‘ause of inferior consulting work; welost out sole- ly becauseofthe harmful rumorscirculated by that person. I am completely innocentof all of his accusations. — Initials and city withheld by request. Step one is to call up and make an appointmentto see your accuser, Confront him quietly with what you have heard. When you find ‘outhis Teasons, you can Polly: Scuff Marks If he won’t confide in you but has some paranoid SALE business reputation at stake. Remembernever to lose your temper or utter recriminations when confronting your accuser or when talking about him to other members of his firm. Keep your coolat all times, and quietly seek the truth behindhis actions. If you are talking to the companypresident about the problem, talk without of Discontinued emotion but be firm about your innocence and what should be the result of your efforts: the reinstatement of the contract with your firm. DearMs.Baldrige: I've beenonthis job for a year now,after obtaining my master’s degree in business. I've worked very hard and have made an important contribution to my firm. Another woman, my age Danskin Styles and without an M.A., has just been promoted over me. I'm stunned. If I thought she had outperformed me, I would accept what has happened. But she has not had my responsibilities or pressures. The others who work in this section are frankly aghast. What would you do? I'm keeping calm, but I'm definitely foing to have to do something. — Initials and city withheld by request Continue keeping calm. That’s the best action. Reflect several times before you do anything. This other woman’s promotion maybe a fluke, for reasons you don’t know. Your firm might have something muchbetter in store for you, something thatis not yet ready to offer you. (c) 1980, Los Angeles Times Syndicate HAIR CARE FOR MEN, WOMEN & CHILDREN By POLLY CRAMER POLLY'S PROBLEM DEAR POLLY — I cannot remove black scuff marks from my hardwoodfloor. I have tried harsh detergents but get no results. — IRIS DEARIRIS — Some toothpaste on a paper towel quietly removesany scuff marks that appear on my white vinylfloors. I Hengne it would work equally as well on wood. — POL! DEAR POLLY — = a vegetable brush to clean the silks from corn on the cob. Brush fromthebottom of the cob to the top. — MRS. C.S Special Purchase take further action based upon them. complex about you, go to see the person who heads the corporation. He obviously knowsyou wellafter 12 years of a business relationship. Do not put your grievances in writing. Do all your communicating face to face. You have morete lose than just a client in a situation like this. You have your good name and ON EVERYTHING IN STOCK 3 STYLES TO CHOOSE FROM: (sample kitchen shown above) VILLA and CHATEAU: eee 5540” TRIMLINE: uxmreasines °4656 Unfinished cabinet doors.. 99°. hits * PROVO « 176 West Center St Bonnie Doon Opaque Knee-Hi's 1375-2327 Salt Lake Locations Whenyou want to look your best. 1217 North State Orem, Utan 84057 801/224-3936 4 2354 So. 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