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Show __The Sait Lake Tribune OPINION Thursday, February 1, 1996 ostly War on Drugs Is Not Being Won ILLIAM F. BUCKLEY o>ae ' UNIVERSAL PRESS NEW YORK — The bipartisan founcil on Crime in America, those most conspicuous spokesjan is William Bennett, does fine otk. But whenit touches on the jatter of drugs, its analytical ipwers simply decompose, as pough the writer were high on ack cocaine or thelegal stuff. Last week the council exploded f Opposition to the call for an ap‘oachto the legalization of drugs ade by seven writers (myself intuded)in essays for National Rejew. Thetitle of the symposium i{'The Waron DrugsIs Lost,”to which the council replies that that is most certainly notso. In 1985, 811,000 arrests were madefor drug offenses. In 1994, 1.35 million arrests were made for drug offenses Does that meanthat the war on drugs is effective? Well, no. An effective law diminishes, not increases, the number of violators who haveto be arrested. If 1.35 million drug users were arrested in 1994, how many drug users were not arrested? The council informs us that there are more than 4 million casual users of cocaine (defined as used less than once a week). How so? Whyhaven't they been arrested? The council goes on to say that there are more than 2.2 million heavy (at least weekly) users. That makes a total of 6.2 million whoviolate the law from once a week to every two weeks or so. Howeffective is the war when such figures can be cited? Nowtake the big one. There are more than 70 million Americans who have smoked marijuana, and about 10 million who continue to do so. Why aren't they in jail? Does the Council on Crime in America really wish that they werein jail? So what has the war done? It WHEN I SAID. ‘OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! wart has made a mockery of an anti- drug law thatis simply ignored by millions; it has induced violent felonies in pursuit of drug profits; andit is self-evidently powerless MEANTWAS~ to do anything about the recent increase in marijuana use by reckless adolescents. It is a pity that men and women of the moralandintellectual character of William Bennett treat drug legalization as the equivalent of moral acquiescence in drug abuse, when other reasons for repealing our stupid laws are so clearly articulated, primary among them to relieve non-drug users from the heavy load they bear in the phony andineffective war. Oneforgets: Who won the Hundred Years War back then? Wasit Teally necessary to take it on for 100 years? }tand-Up Guy Who Successfully Waffled aaa MILWAUKEE — wafflen. 1. a litter cake with a pattern of deep identations on eachside, formed the gridlike design on each of e two hinged parts of the metal pliance (waffle iron) in which te cake is baked. waffle developer n. see Frank rsa |Did you know Frank Dorsa? jad you ever even heard of Frank lorsa, who died the other day in ear butleft his mark on the orld? His mark waschillylittle ridges fe chilly little holes. Frank Dorinvented the frozen waffle. “Frank Dorsa, 88, Waffle Devéloper,” the headline said. As pituaries go, this one didn’t go ir —- just a half-dozen para‘aphs in the morning paper — pit it was impossible to ignore at headline, right there where he corporate titans and artistic gends normally get their final viet of printer's ink. Just a half- dozen paragraphs, and thefirst words were: “Frank Dorsa, who invented the frozen waffle ....” There are worse ways to be remembered. If the fast-pacedlife is a little more manageable these days, you can thank Frank Dorsa for his contribution. If the heavy old waffle iron has become a collector’s item, more popular at garage sales than appliancestores, it was Frank Dorsa whostarted things movingin that direction. “Many are culled,” as the Bible almostsays, “but few are frozen.” Frank Dorsa changedail that. But he was hardly a one-hit wonder. He was just in his 20s — a young man in Depression-era America — when he and his brothers, Sam and Anthony, started their own food company down in the basement of their parents’ house, a company that would one day become Eggo Food Products. The brothers experimented with Mayonnaise (mayonnaise?!) and then with waffle batter, the obit said, and developed a dry, justadd-milk waffle mix. Convenience, that was the key. When the Dorsa boys bought a San Jose potato chip factory a few years later, Frank rose to the occasion, inventing an automatic, continuous potato peeler. In the 1950s, he wasatit again: He came up with a carousel, a waffle-go- round that could turn out thousands of waffles every hour. Even after the brothers sold their companyin 1966(it later became part of the Kellogg’s empire), Frank keptright on inventing. There was the bacon fryer, for instance, that kept bacon from curling; local restaurants usedit, the obitsaid. Ofcourse, there were also the inventions that never were. Frozen pancakes,for instance. Dorsa had hit the jackpot with frozen waffles, so why not frozen pancakes? The spirit was willing, but the batter was weak. Aboutthe frozen waffles themselves — the central thing, the defining creation of Frank Dorsa’s life, few details. Nothing in those half-dozen paragraphs about exactly when it happened, or how Nothing aboutthe long hoursof experimentation (and there must have been long hours, don't you think?), about the setbacks that set the stage for the triumphs(and there must have been setbacks), aboutthe flash of inspiration that finally lit the way to waffle glory. The closest we getis this, from FrankJr.: “My dad liked gadgets. He was alwaystinkering.” There are worse lines for an epitaph. So raise a toast(er) to Frank Dorsa —- he waffled, and he was proudofit. 425 More Campaign Season Complications MARY MCGRORY b ey Oy lll. oe UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE WASHINGTON — The distribution of consternation has been exceptionally evenhandedlately. The godsofthe election campaign are trying to be fair. Last week, both parties stared down at open graves, Sen. Bob Dole, the GOP front-runner, fell on his face in his reply to President Clinton’s dazzling State of the Union. Four dayslater, in the typical peaks-to-pits pattern of the Clinton way of life, Hillary Rodham Clinton becamethefirst first lady to be subpoenaed totes- tify before a grandjury. The sight of her striding into the courthouse gave Democrats a sinking feeling. They spent the weekend unfurling unthinkable scenarios: Would shebe indicted? At present, this is an irrational fear: Prosecutors must inform grand jury witnesses if they are targets, and Hillary Clinton was notso informed. But they shudderat the thought of protracted uncertaintyand the Possibility of an “October Surprise” from independent counsel Kenneth Starr in the way of an unfavorable report Between Sen. Alfonse D’Amato,whois subpoenainghalf the state of Arkansas, and Starr, who was furious over the belated discovery of legal records that Hillary Clinton says exonerate her, the suspense couldlast over the entire course of the presidential campaign. Republicans gieefully torture the Democrats, telling them their candidate will be Vice President Ai Gore. With Dole, the conjecture took an equally morbid turn. Would he be tripped upin Iowa, or knocked out in New Hampshire? His reply to the president's speech was out of the Cold Warera,bristling with barbs aboutliberals andelitists — in the face of an electoratethatis pleading for comity and civility. In other runs for the White House, Dole has doneit all: scheduling, speeches, strategy. This time, his backers said, he has put himself in the hands of skilled professionals. Duties are delegat- ed, and there is an ace for every contingency. Where was the expert on theater? Did someone else decide that he should look as haggard as possible? Did anyone suggest a nap before he went on, so he could compete with Clinton's glow? Dole blew off the widespread criticism, blamingit on theliberal press. Clinton outran a worse speech, the 1988 convention key- note, and the fact is, despite the fluctuations in polls in Iowa and New Hampshire,the Republicans don't really have another horse. Hillary Clinton's setback complicates her part in the campaign. Sheis still role model and heroine to many women, and even Gramm, who will say anything about anybody,said on “Meet the Press,” “People need to be very, very careful” aboutpiling on her. The recent rediscovery of the legal records did not change the Whitewateraffair. It was just the first thing about it that the gener- al public could understand. It gives Democrats the shudders to think that their dreams could grindto a halt in a trailer park in Arkansas. They don't think anything criminal occurred, just somethingterminally tacky. Introducing the fastest compact on the road today. 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