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Show The Salt Lake Tribune UTAH LIVING Sunday, January 23, 2000 IfMen Got Pregnant, Stretch Me:‘Do I Look Fat?’ Him: ‘Do I Look Stupid? Marks Would Be Obsolete ‘AMILY LIVING he could get easily blown to bits. The treth i by Ge tins Femiresdy ary blue jeans. ‘My thanks to whoever Each time, I asked my husband how I looked. eerone is ultimately My husband knows answering it is ultimately dangerous. Even as I ask, I know it is foolish. I ——— Wieseceenlceeis ted decten the TERYL ZARNOW All methods ofbirth control would percent effective. Natural childbirth would be obso- ously, modeling a swishysilk that 1 haven't worn in years. Not until I putit on do I remember find out what happened. He wears a white shirt to work and a white shirt at night. He isn’t used to mak- My husband's aunt evidently told those cousins it was rude of us to ask 7. Morning sickness would rank as the ation’s No. 1 health 8. People wouldn't think twins were so “Triplets would be subsidized by the government. | 10. Briefcases would be designed so they could double as diaper bags. yell. Paternity suits would be a fashion line of women’s apparel. 12. All male children would have to be home by 10 p.m. ~ ‘Dear Ann: My husband's cousins were PMhning to visit us last weekend — three Children and two adults. They live about nine hours awayand were driving here. We knew they were short on money, so we-boughtfood for the weekend, knowing they would notbe bringing anything with them. Wealso boughtsix tickets to the zoo, which are not cheap around Wedon’t have enough pillows or towels forfive extra people, so I asked if they could bring some from home. We always bring pillows, blankets and towels for my thildren when wevisit, so I didn’t think this request was outofline. I was mostly eGncerned for their comfort, but apparently they didn't feel I was hospitable enough, because they decided not to come. They didn’t even bothertotell us had changed their minds. They just did't show up.I becameworried when theydidn’t arrive on time andcalled to Cea LUXURY TOWNHOMES them to bring towels and pillows, and so ing decisions. I take that to mean he doesn't like the dress. selection process. For me,preparationis a big part of anticipation. The dressier the event, the earlier I prefer to start. A man decides a few minutes later. “That looks nice,” he answers —a lukewarm endorsement. His candidate “Tcan't — myhands off you” would seta either dropped out of the race or never ing herbal supplements for memory loss, i Second, a man doesn't understand the they were offended. I am furious right now and have decided thatif any other family members wantto visit, they can stay at a motel. Tell me, Ann, was I wrong to ask them to bring pillows and towels? Should I have gone out and bought morepillows, even though we'don't need them and they are expensive?It’s notas if I had in- whatheis going to wear two minutes before he buttons it. A woman,whohas started getting ready an hour earlier, must circle around to it, like a dog readyto lie down. She vited guests to spend the weekend. These cousins are FAMILY,and they invited musttryand di “How does this dress look?”I ask dubi- themselves.I'm happyto put them up, but I don’t see why I should spend so much moneyso they can have a vacation. What do you say? — Di: in San Diego There are people in the community who need your help. They may be contacted by calling the Volunteer Center, Dear Ann: I have a good friend I'll call Community Services Council, 887-1254, or “Rita.” Whenever wegoto Rita’s house for bridge, a tea, dinner, whatever, one of her children approachesus to buy a magazine subscription, candy bars, cookies, etc., for a schoolfund-raiser. We love Ri- visiting www.volunteerinsaltlake.org. Manyof the volunteer opportunities are accessibleto people with disabilities. /A Volunteers: The Southern Utah WildernessAllanoe needshelp to research local political ta, but every visit costs $15 to $20. We statements regarding wilderness issues. would neverallow ourchildrento do this, and we'regettingtired of it. Advise, Voluntteers needed for dinnerauctionin Marchto benefit Utah's sister community in i. Steppers: Volunteer performers needed for nursing homes, recreation faelites, schools and othefunctions. Utah lunteers needed to help with crete ani iciviee te Vans Gay Pride celebration, Citizens Review Board: Help meet eet gersofyouth in foster care Visually Impaired: Walk with individuals waiting to receive a Seeing Eyedog. jory Correctional Facility: Hefpdevelop a ibrary and assist with art and music classes; book please. — Oxnard, Calif. Dear Ox: LeaveRita outofit. The kids need to be dealt with directly. Decline politely when they put youon thespot. After a while, they will get the message. AndRita will,too. Write to Ann Landersin careofthe ae Lap Mentors for Mothers: Mentors needed for f-reliance program;training be- a single mother’s sel gins in January. Court Advocates: Work with abused or neglected children; must be at least 21 NOT INTO SUNDANCE? Read Joan O'Brien's interview with author Timothy Findley on D-8. years ol Ronald McDonald House: Greeters,office and 801.263.8102 www.besthomeloansutah.com Utah’s #1 Source For Home Mortgages @ Below Market Interest Rates... How ToFind Them &@ How To Choose The Right Lender @ How ToBuy A Home With Zero Down Payment 1 How To Save $1,000’s When You Buy Your Next Home CHAPMAN SVU) a ara LewisWolcott + Proline easeayGis soat wha ba begun tak- entered. Eventually, having picked myfinalist, I always ask one more time. WhenI ask, my husband is wary. A man knowsthe question is an emo- tional minefield. Onefalse response and line volunteers. 278-4414 1-800-456-5192 CN URC Sats Listen to children read and edit the stories theywri Senior Volunteers: Seniors needed tohelp with enviroumental projecfund raising, crime preven tion,foodpantry, Wagon: Serve mealstothe homeless ev. erySunday from 7 a.m.to noon. House: Receptionist and greeter needed for residential home for abused and neslected children, dustice Center: Transcriptionist needed. ae leip seniors and low-income individuals mitment four hours & mekduringthe 10-week tax seaso amilies Against Incinerator Risk: Work to proforthe replacementof the Tooele Nerve Gas Indinari with a safer alternative, Lake County Housing ‘Authority: Tutors oeede re for at-risk vont grades K-9. UPNet needs clerical assistance a nomic financial contributions to withoe elected officials. Victim Program:Assist Midvale Police Department with supporting andprovidingservices to victims ofviolentcrimes; training provi Donation: .Bennion Elementary ae farious yehavail- tions, school presentations, fundraising, Dating volunteer coordination, reading tutoring, preventionassistance,elder assistance, food one and more. Primary Children's Medical Center: Help needed forthe fern and information desk. Life Care: Personal shopping/laundry carts needed. a. seniors. Alta Care Center: ‘Assist with recreational ac- geein the Adopt.=Gradeligt Best Friends elp with pet adoptions, foster homes, office pa and other events. Bee the year. 's Shelter: Help with landscaping; individuals,bbusinesses us = groups welcome. Tapestry of Polygamy: Part-time office assistant needed for light typing, fling;legal assistant also needed to assist attorney with research, filings,case preparation and management. Department Docent Program: As- sist withgallery tours Salt Lake Interfaith Hospitality Network: Work ARCHITECT CUSTOM! Fastenal degance wh a st Man floor wertg! Great {at nd ee|Taal otarms. Spacous ‘eth poo! and ie $700 (6360 6. Wronhave Rd. (2450 E) iot Alzbeimer's Association: Help with special kitchen helpers needed forthree-hour shifts. books and as ee Iam lovely. His mind iaepeoe ‘Onetime I asked him: “Do I look wide; in this?” He answered: “Do I look stupid?” with homeless populations. Utah AIDS Foundation: A variety of volunteer’, osltions opens most urpenly needed ore AIDS Boe? Opportunities to do a good deed gitimate beef there. But someone should tell your husband’s aunt to MYOB. Qa LUXURY ONE-LEVEL HOMES “Whatdo you think of this?” I ask him THEY NEED YOUR HELP Dear San Diego: Your husband'srela- tives were extremely rude not to phone and say they weren't coming. You can alwaysuse extra pillows, so there’s no le- Chicago Tribune, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611. Starting in the $150's » 2 Decorated Models 4600 South 1175 West ° Salt LakeCity, Utah why. “Tf you aren't comfortable, you aren't going to be happy,” my husband replies. Projectsfor National Alzhelmer’s Disease manth an, aneagedAles Help sta attorneys in providing #64! aa gal services to low-income clier nts. Adopt-A-Native Elder Program:Help in human. aieefforts to support Navajo aeand children, need. Raisers: Train assistante’? fotPinata withnes ether than niinepice Program: Assit terminally ill and thal” families by providing eo companionship and helping wim miscellaneo Salt Lake yee Work the iran, desk at the main library, greet patrons questions; Human ResoBley errory aso my need ofvolunteers. Animal Lovers: Wasatch Humane needs mature’ volunteers to help with pet adoptions and as shart) term foster homesrecos a Musical Skills: Volunteer‘sted th lead a singalong group for his-homeresidents. Minimum’ commitmentof 30-50 minutes two to four times per, Needed: Riverside Adult Day Centert needs beauticians es day per week, approximately, 4 four hours at a tim Utah Food Bank: Helpsort food, build food o}Rs eerne work in thegarden.Open oe Sarayfoméamane Lake Chronic Pain Support ferent ‘ocamMondayofevery month, to 9 p.m., Salt Lake. County Complex, 2001S. State St., Room Heart & Soul: Nonprofit ccpaitalceGthattakes! a music andthe performing arsoso isolated people live: ing in institutional settings is seeking performers# andperforming groups. American Red Cross: Donor schedulers, reception-room greeters, warehouse workers, clert cal assistants and delivery service; training provided. in ae Sooae needed to work: ia home by phone assi ung WOME with their search for jobs, housing eectcomme natorand providing encouragement and tee source refe1 Needed: Advocate needed for resi: dents in nursing homes; x hours io training will provide volunteers with state ‘Computer [abana Center needs help monitoring children tadultsa computerstations; training pt Division of ‘Services: Tul rs needed-to workwith atrisk youth ages 8-12; ottcehhelp needed for youth early-intervention program. ‘CAPE COD TWO STORY! MIKE LINDSAY Seameeweeft Savas pt a fal rao getcay ne ‘1087©Chartecton Lame (5000 8) (ear th gorgeouscary ves! 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