Show written for this payer paper THROUGH AN INSANE ASYLUM MAIDSTONE kent Englan djan jan found myself in a lunatic Last week I 1 asylum which melancholy fact may mi of my intimate friends not surprise arrie nr rie some nipped feeling that this is how it happened the readers possibly y perchance might like to revel in something really waistcoats strait sensational sensational in which oil and something lingering part prominent preyed a dismal dire that at a visit to a dark dalip aji english ish lunatic asylum might fill i the W I 1 had had bad my mind set upon a 10 but on lurther further goal good old british consideration decided in in favor of the more variety and asylum as more raw material consequently tor for scope first class nightmares and thrilling situations with this plausible idea in in view view I 1 r in in cited a snort short epistle to the superintend nten ten dent of the kent ken t county asylum at inclosing my noble r heath pasteboard boa rd and by return mail was agreeably gratified to receive a leteth of which the following is a copy kent county As asylum alum dec aist 1896 dear sir sin it w will ill give me great pleasure to meet you and any friend you ate ke to bring with you I 1 have been to your country twice and met such kind ness fass there that it gladdens my heart to met meet an Ame american I 1 here and to be able to do anything for him will you come in n the forenoon we have lunch at one sharp harp and can look round the asylum afterward fix your own time only kindly let me know one day beforehand yours very truly F PRITCHARD axim DAVIES M D george E F carpenter esq to say the least of it the answer was an agreeable surprise so upon a arriving eving in maidstone alter r previously I 1 V dropping a note myself and companion kendea wended our way to a pile of buildings situated upon a hill needless to re markit rained it always does rain over here especially on sundays and holidays despite the fact that the weather clerk most religiously and gravely publishes in the morning papers the tact fact that this days forecast set fair temperature stationary light balmy winds etc with all this surfeit of prize competitions puzzles conundrums etc with which english weekly literature abounds as a means of increasing the circulation one often wonders vow now the greatest writer of fiction of the age viz the weather clerk has been so neglected and his praise worthy efforts allowed to go As remarked heretofore we walked our host later suggested that we drove but we scorned the base insinuation as a mission arys diet is apt to make one dyspeptic we always make it a point to walk in fact there is an iridescent charm connected with splashing through the mire collecting a goodly supply of drinking water in the brim of ones four dollar chapeau and incidentally indulging in derogatory remarks regarding the samples of climate one enjoys in the tight little isle on approaching our destination we were confronted by a good solid built to last stone wall here we halted to spy out the land for we reasoned in our innocent childish manner that it behooved us not to enter the portals and wander around in search of the superintendent two amateur daniels in the lions lionis lion Is den so to speak the sport and prey of some two thousand designing sportive inquisitively inclined maniacs here we observed a young man eyeing us suspicious suspiciously ly so we cornered him despite s ev te his edging away calmed his bis troubled mind with a morgan no i and asked to be directed to doctor davies residence which we found without much trouble and were ushered into the drawing room where the doctors wife who has beedon been on twycross two cross continent trips including salt lake city entertained us till lunch which consisted of fish entrees game etc served in the english I 1 tyle style in conjunction with sundry mysterious fizzing fizzling amber fluids and havanas for those who wished to so indulge in parenthesis whenever any of the boys indulge in lofty bragging propensities re regarding gardin the chuck steak they had for supper atle the week before last we hope lessly annihilate them with the aforesaid menu after having a good chat on ame america rica in general and utah in particular w we e adjourned burned to the asylum and I 1 must say it was a most agreeable disappointment the doctors house stands alone alone within its own az pr private ate grounds which are bon connected with the asylum grounds by a gate through the wall we were accompanied in our tour of inspection by two prize skye terriers belonging to the doctor these were imbued with a most praiseworthy 0 arthy idea to exterminate all the cats in the neighborhood for the benefit of the da skye terrier is first last and all the time a dog that on a cursory glance resembles an animated ball of worsted and when in repose is a never ending diversion for gamblers to decide which is the wagging and which the biting end these two aforesaid cannes gloried in the appellations appel lations of nanny and zip and seemed to be great favorites with the lunatics or patients as I 1 shall henceforth call them further despite what the author of hard cash way may say my on the let it bb distinctly understood that the attendants am cally resent being called I 1 keepers 0 upon entering the doctors doctor Is private office we viewed a plan of the place and found that it extended for two lion butt dred acres part rt of it being used as a farm and borred worked by the patients there were at the time one thousand seven sevea hundred patients and two hundred and twenty attendants the asylum is built of stone quarried on the estate and is over sixty years old since doctor davies took the reins twenty two years ago he has inaugurated changes doing away with all brutal restraints such as hobble chains etc for dangerous patients surprise baths ingenious coo con tri vances to cool off the ardor of enthy spastic maniacs by which they are precipitated through the floor into tanks of ice cold water below etc anyhow the doctor assured me such avas was the case and that he had shown us some of the worst cases and certainly we saw nothing that smacked of subjection by brute force in answer to the question how the english asylums compared with those of the united states he declined to express a decided opinion laughingly rem re lating an incident during his visit to mentioning one of our largest cities there he had asked the superintendent how long he had been in his post six months was the answer he was further astonished to find that none of 06 the attendants or assistants had been connected with the place longer than five months upon requesting a solution the superintendent informed mm him that he propose anyone around his asylum to know more than he did and further he was going to be superintendent of that asylum just as long as cleveland held the presidency I 1 laughed and suggested that the americans have the monopoly on tall stories we looked in on the telephonic exchange each of the thirty nine wards having a telephone and then the doctor unlocked a door and we were in one of the wards the head lady attendant of the ward met us at the door locking the same after us A glance at the barred windows revealed the fact that all retreat was cut off instead of putting my back to the wall and selling my life dea dearly r I 1 gazed compla bently around ju justly alze arguing that if four frail rosy checked cheeked che c ee eked d pretty young attendants were safe there that possibly I 1 would be spared to see the valleys of the mountains once more the attendants look very neat in their blue serge uniforms broad white cuffs and collars and starched nurses caps but for a belt to which is attached a whistle to summon help one would imagine they were simply hospital nurses I 1 dont think that a single one of the one hundred bundred and six lady attendants was older than thirty and not one face was in the least brutal still man is is supposed to he be a poor budge of a womans comans age the first that strikes one about an asylum is the painful cleanliness of the whole institution the stone stairways are whitened to an extent conducive to snow blindness while the brass work makes one blink blin As all the wards are built upon the same plan and are nearly identical in dimensions and general get u up pl I 1 will describe one whick which will give a fair fair idea of them all the ward is about one hundred feet lonz iong with windows at stated intervals interval sp appo 14 ite which on the othor side are the cells with the doors standing open dis dia playing ing a scrupulously clean varnished bed moor an iron cot furnished with horse hair air mattress the sheets and three blankets bets being all folded up and tucked neatly upon the pillow while the strip of floor carpet is folded up and placed at the foot each cell is lighted by a window and warmed by steam heat the better class mentally for each and every inmate is a county pauper patients are locked in these cells nightly when an attendant keeps his bis eye on them at stated intervals through the peep holes in the doors each ward being fitted with a telltale tell tale electric time register that keeps the attendant up to his duty color greets the eye everywhere red and blue dados yellows and impossible magentas bagentas ma gentas no paper on the wall everywhere bright paint together with thirty or forty framed pictures adorns the walls there are big aviaries full of canaries large aquariums stocked with gold 1 old fish together with potted plants galore the cheerful fireplaces are strongly barred over such is a fair sample ample of a womans comans ward there not omitting the libra library lr of books that are changed from ward arl to ward monthly thus taking two years before they come round again also a letter box free paper and pencils with which to missives to the superintendent which have to be seen to be appreciated the women dont have all the luxury either far from it in fact the wards are identical with the exception that the men are furnished with bagatelle tables an lire of pianos naturally in those wards devoted to happy go gc lucky athele tic patients with a penchant for dusting the atmosphere with the human race in general everything is screwed down rubber takes the place of earthenware while such tasty missiles as flower pots or a solid volume of kaleys christian evidence are conspicuous by their absence in fact fact judging the blasphemous reception we received on entering the homicidal ward paley might be used to advantage then up they rushed howled and swore and the air went blue for mues miles i the rafters rafter shook and I 1 took my hook book As down came all the tiles the suicidal and epileptic patients sleep in dormitories containing about fifty cots each the latter being provided with beds upon the floor so that if taken with a fit they may not roll off and hurt Ahem themselves selves further the attendants are with them night ana and day A visit to an epileptic ward is not a very cheerful proceeding As the doctor unlocked the door the attendants drew themselves up and saluted military fashion the majority ot of them are retired soldiers while the patients seated along the walls gazed into vacancy utterly oblivious to us or to two of their comrades one in a fit on the floor and the other restlessly rolling around a padded cell the door of which was open none oi of them were smoking as the majority of the other male patients seemed to be occupying their time while on the subject of smoking the ahe tobacco habit seems to be universal in england tobacco is given to the patients as a reward tor for obedience and the amount of work they perform quite a contrast to this was our re option cep tion in the infirmary where there were vere some patients dying in bed and others sitting around the cheerful place several of the inmates insisted on shaking hands with us white while one individual with a face on him that resembled to a marked degree that of a sheep yelled enthusiastically across from his corner but oh doctor I 1 have composed a lovely hymn this morning the doctor formally introduced us to mr brown our noted and distinguished composer 0 with a courtly bow he acknowledged the insinuation oh you flatter me doctor and then there was no peace for any one the man who will deliberately or innocently broach to a lunatic the hobby bobby upon which he is maddest well his blood be upon his own head the character of the institution was an old ex mans barsman wars man regarding whose age nobody seemed to be able to throw any light on certain days only will he ramble about his past life and the sea battles he has fought in that lead those who know him to place his bis age ge at one hundred years As he be sat up in bed smoking he looked for all the world like rip van winkle his long straggled gley beard and snowy white hair over a foot long together with two piercing black restless eyes gave him a wierd berd look two fingers of his nand hand were missing the back was tattooed with the papal keys etc on inquiring how he lost lost them he at once gave evidence of being as mad as the proverbial march hare he has been an inmate for forty four years the asylum is provided with a large church small roman catholic chapel a splendid amusement hall in which dances are held furnished with stage and drop curtain at one end with music stands for a large orchestra which was to play for our edification naturally the bakery kitchens laundry tailor carpenter paint and blacksmith shops connected with such a large institution ution are very interesting of course the patients who work in them supervised by attendants are selected and look a very harmless lot and as I 1 I 1 saw them mechanically spreading slices of bread with butter and stacking up piles of loaves and seed cake they get the latter three times a week the insane longing and desire came over me to see these meek and mild idiots cause a little excitement and mild diversion by heaving in pounds of butter at the head cook knocking knocking us out on third base with a goodly chenck of seed cake or per chance laying out our portly conductor with a sample loat loaf not that I 1 mean to insinuate that the staff of life was heavy far from it for the food of all descriptions was of first class quality and had bad to pass inspection the bake ovens vegetable soup and tea coppers were on a h huge ug e scale holding about sixty gallons ons apiece the vegetables were washed and prepared by aid of mechanical contrivances the stores were quite interesting the blankets being all wool sheets and everything being marked with a private stripe boots and shoes for an armetea army tea chests stacked sky high to gether with hogsheads hog of sugar and bales of tobacco etc adjoining the stores is situated the brilliant room for the amusement of the staff it is fitted up in an elegant way the doctor having invented a very ingenious electrical con by which the score is registered upon a big dial on the wall on the push button principle there being buttons situated all around the room and table within easy reach the fire prevention system is also very perfect and a fireman is is always on duty As is the case in every amylu asyl jinG albe women patients far outnumber the amm neen one of the most touching cases tw that came under my observation was that tf an old woman who had only two stump left having cut kofl one hand with an ax a and thrust the other into the fire until it ft was burnt to a crisp she wis was over an old dirty rag doll mrs dab had previously sent her in a fine aj wax doll which she had named the princess Prin cees but she did not care for it at all analia and had d it stowed away under the bed A goodly number of the patients seemed to bo be suffering ring from various forms of rel religious litow mania one young woman in particular as soon as we entered one ward threw her herself elf before the doctor |