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Show -- NICOLE THOMAS no 8 A.M., I COFFEE S i V THE THUNDERBIRDnSOUTHERN UTAH UN IVERSITYCU MONDAY OCTOBER 28, 1991 Trails Auto Supplies We the uneducated masses To do is to be. Socrates. To be is to do Plato. Do Be Do Be Do. Sinatra. Onre upon a time in the recent past, a Russian visited the U S. He wanted to visit Oxford, Miss , because William Faulker was a favorite writer of his. (Faulkner, for those who dont know, has the reputation of being one of the finest modern novelists and was awarded the Nobel Prize in 1949.) At the car rental in New York City he asked for the appropriate map to get to Oxford. Why you wanna gao theyea? He explained that Faulkner was one of his favorite authors. Who? In Memphis he asked the gas station attendant if he were moving in the correct direction. Now, why-e- r yall wanten ta go thea? The fact that Faulkner did his writing there was explained. Who? He was amazed. Here he was in the country, in the region of one of the most innovative modernist writers, and Faulkners countrymen did not know he had even existed. Perhaps this is an obnoxious stand point for a student of literature to take. However, there are things that should be intrinsic to our lives. OK. This is a quiz. Take out a piece of paper and a pencil. Name a modern female poet (who didnt kill herself). Were not just slipping Weve slipped. And Im only discussing liberal arts. Just forget math and science, of which I admit no knowledge what so ever. Im being forced to take Math 101 this winter. Im not pleased. I realize I should be happy simply for the humanistic pleasure of discovering x equals y and why y equals x and how this relationship came to be, but I cant rally myself to do it. I admit Im not as informed as I would like to be concerning history, langauge, world events. . I would like nothing better than to lock myself in my room with all the books I always wanted to read but never found the time. All the ones professors quote lines from and I nod Sure. Aaah, yea. Read it last night. isolation is that I be allowed My only stipulation for this out Monday nights to watch Murphy Brown and Northern Exposure. I might even reread Moby Dick. No, I take that back. Sorry Cohen. Often we dont even know who has written the classics. Or worse, what the classics even are. I needed to read a section from The Brothers Karamozov The book was on reserve in the library, so I approached an uncomfortably imprisoned work-stud- y student. What? A book is on reserve. The Brothers Karamozov by Dostoevsky. Is that a novel? Yessss, I growled in my voice. This summer I overheard a woman visting the festival say, Lets go to the orientation. I dont know nothing about this here Hamlet. Thats a direct quote. I wrote it down. American students expect extra credit for spelling their names class, students were dismayed to learn that correctly. In a a research paper was required. What do you call a person who speaks two languages? Bilingual. What do you call a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual. What do you call a person who speaks one language? An American. Considering 40 percent of the American public votes for public officials who make decisions for us as if we were chess pieces like war and worker benefits (or lack thereof) why should we care about a bunch of dead writers who arent as interesting as Wheel of Fortune? In America, developers In Europe people visit Stratford-upon-Avothreaten Walden Pond, and people make pilgrimages to Graceland. 2 10 West 200 North, Cedar City Call: 400-lev- For College Mney for some Student Is Eligible Every si ' Financial Aid! 200,000 sources tyPe frm private sector exceeding $10 t billion. Guaranteed results. For more information and FREE brochure write: LEAKS SERVICES CEETEB 485 SO. B1M SI., ST. 6ECR8E, OT. S25CTE 84770 237 586-389- 6 alter hours 586-891- 5 Come check our prices before spending LOTS of money somewhere else We give discounts to COLLEGE STUDENTS. . . C PAGE 5 HALLOWEEN ONLY 586-966- 1 |