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Show THE THUNDERBIRD OCTOBER 10, 1988 PACE 5 PICK A PEARL OF A MOVIE! Another one rides the bus Every Greyhound bus needs its white trash family, and we played that role on the 2,500 miles from Cedar City to Poughkeepsie, New York, last November for my parents' 40th anniversary We were going to go by plane, but when found it would cost $1,200 to fly a family of four, it occurred to me that taking the bus would be a wonderful learning experience suggested it to my wife, Tari, and when told her the plane fare she came down off the ceiling and agreed that it would be meaningful for our kids to see America the Greyhound way, even for three days and nights Things became meaningful quickly in the squalid little tent city we' made near the back Our daughter Katie, 7, who had been warned' many times about the perils of contact with strangers, had to share a seat with a Chinaman the first day out They got along famously like people from the same planet, even and by night she was snoring softly, her legs cliaped across his lap Her future hovered ominously, which disturbed me, as was looking forward to a very peaceful slumber in one of my favorite positions knees in mouth Then, in the Denver bus station an obviously illegal alien from some unsavory country or other had the gall to give KDie and her biother Rudy stuffed animals he had scooped out of a machine Wo.se, he piesented Tari and with a souvenir mug 'Ahich washed in hot water seven times before using Tell me how can we instill the proper paranoia in our children when strangers keep exhibiting their innate damned goodness? Rudy tested the patience of the kindest of strangers on the trip by climbing over their legs on his way to the bathroom every two minutes to relieve his, uh, boredom He also gave a large Vietnamese family a glimpse many glimpses, in fact of the Ugly American as Child Voyeur on these frequent restroom forays by stopping in the aisle to stare at them each way. America is full of jerks, too, and many ride the Silver Eagle A very pretty woman had a new perspective on farm foreclosures and the plight of the American farmer, one she was more than happy to share "Only farmers who have been given a million chances and have blown every single one have lost their farms," she announced She was on her way to the state capitol, and she was concerned that the bus might not get her there before all the stores closed asked her where she got her information Her husband, it seems, was a Lincoln, Nebraska hometown boy who had recently made good as an attorney specializing in bankruptcy law So you see, there are two sides to every coin, this one being tails Tari likes to have at least two floors and ten rooms between her and a fridge humming, and while she couldn't hope for total silence on the bus, she often used the Walkman in the hope that cassettes would shut out the Greyhound sounds around her. She was not counting on the kids' uncanny ability to be loud Over the sound of Los Lobos and suddenly aware that everyone had turned around to witness our humiliation she heard Rudy shouting "Busdriver1 Stopi Let's eat1 Stop the bus1 Hey busdriver! Let's eat'" He was convulsed with laughter, and Katie, who wouldn't dare do that herself, was alternately laughing uncontrollably and clapping her hand over his mouth Rudy kept pushing the hand away, shouting "Busdriver! Stop the bust can't breathe! Busdriver' can't breathe1'' Was it revenge? Tan announced in Chicago that the driver had asked if she would like to have a drink with him in Cleveland laughed and said something about his looks or ancestors or manhood or something "What's so funny? He's very nice and said I'd be glad to if he's buying " Then someone was pulling me off the floor and slapping me to see if was OK vaguely recall a voice saying, "I was only kidding " Next summer, my whole family is getting together back east again. think that flying back would be a meaningful learning experience MONDAY I o & Rent a VCD and a movio for only $C.G0 and get the wm second mov.e o Monday thru Thursday Only Good Oct 1013, 1983 D O . SOUND5 EASY 580 SOUTH MAIN STREET I 2 MEDIUM CHEESE PIZZAS NOW ONLY 10" I I DR A.F. OPTOMETRIST QUALITY 25 EYE CARE SINCE 1958 DISCOUNT ON ALL SERVICES AND MATERIALS TO STUDENTS, FACULTY AND STAFF AND THEIR FAMILIES YEAR ROUND. FRIENDLY, CARING, EXPERIENCED, WITH COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY 60 NORTH MAIN 586-888- 1 DELIVERY HOURS: Monday thru Thursday 4:00 pm to 11:00 pm Friday 4:00 pm to Midnight Saturday 11:00 am to Midnight Sunday 11:00 am to 11:00 pm inkst 586-730- 0 |
