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Show The TfiunderbmC BY STEVE YATES Sc Profesional Hair Spray Of cartoons and commercials Last week, I mentioned how much I hate television. Well, I really do. I hate everything about it. I hate all the stupid all the mindless adventure shows, and most of all, I absolutely hate the commercials. But I do watch TV. Usually, I watch it while Im eating, fully intending to turn it off when I have finished my food. Unfortunately, television tends to hypnotize ones mind, and I often snap out of the electronic haze only to discover that I have just spent two hours with my eyes glued to the screen. I hate myself when I do this. Im one of those people who like to get up early on Saturday and watch a few select cartoons. I say select because most cartoons these days are really bad. There are too many stupid characters and situations, its all to cutesie for my taste. Generally, the animations pretty poor, too. I personally favor The Bugs Bunny-Roa- d Runner Hour. Good animation, lots of covert violence thats what I like most and none of this syrupy sweet slop with adorable little characters like Smurfs, Strawberry Shortcake Land, or the Care Bears. Unfortunately, when you watch Saturday morning television, you are subjected to a lot of cuteness through commercials. Every other commercial seems to be devoted to selling a ghastly little creature known as a "Cabbage Patch Kid. s, Rum & latuy Hair Styling Moose Lipstick s3" 82 Large Can S' 49 Egg Shampoo S' 95 Page 5 OPEN NOW Cachectic Observatory Monday November 12, 1984 Curling Irons' Nail Polish s495 75 colours to choose from 824 each ast spedafr aou(a& iaAi& 491 S. Main (in the plaza next to dairy freeze) tAe&& 586-268- 6 Pizza Hut Introduces A Coarse In Economics. Now why anyone would want to own one of these ugly little critters beyond me. They are truly ugly. They look like hideously deformed children, with lumpy awkward bodies and puffy, sallow faces, and skin made out of an old pair of pantyhose. Yuk! Id never want one in my house. is Yet these kids are extremely popular, and not just with the kids. Ive heard a lot of mothers fall to pieces when they see one, saying such things as, Oh, isnt it just adorable? Personally, I fail to see the attraction. My guess is that if these mothers own children looked like a Cabbage Patch Kid, their reactions would be quite different. Commercials have always annoyed me greatly, no matter what theyre trying to sell. They have this way of playing on peoples feelings too much, especially peoples innate sense of vanity. Thanks to commercials, everyone is now afraid to even scratch their head. Why? Because of those stupid dandruff shampoo commercials. You know the ones I mean: A guy gets on the bus, sees a beautiful maiden, thinks to himself, Hey, sharp chick, Ill sit by her.. .Oh, my gosh! Shes scratching her head! She must have dandruff!! He then flees in horror, leaving the young lady wondering what happened. I guess its never occurred to him that the human head can itch for the same reason any other part of the body itches: for no reason at all. It just itches, it doesnt mean theres anything wrong. If people are as stupid in real life as they are in commercials, we are in real trouble. People in commercials take things far too seriously. In commercial-land- , if you have spots on your dishes, you instantly become the shame of your neighborhood. People must think this happens in chemicals. real life, because they are sure to buy a lot of Again, it is all an appeal to false vanity. Tkke a crash course in V dollar stretching at Pizza Hut. Better hurry to your home- town Pizza Hut If f j restaurant! Its not often you save this kind of money on our fresh, hot and delicious pizza. anti-spotti- There is no doubt that commercials spread lies. Perhaps the worst that is really in right now. You know, the home lie concerns a product computers. The makers of home computers would have everyone believe that if a child grows up without one, he or she will be doomed to a life of failure. If you dont let your kid have a home computer, he will grow up stupid. He will be left behind, unfit for any job except cleaning stables world. in a high-tec- h fabrication. Its deception. Its a lie. In the first Thiijs has grown up, computers will have advanced child the the time place, Dy to such a state that the model he learned on will be hopelessly outdated. out-and-o- ut Furthermore, despite what the ads say, the majority of the populace does not care a fig about computers, and will never become computers whizzes. Since this is the case, the makers of computers will have no choice but to make computers so simple that anyone can perform any of the necessary functions on them. This must be true, because if you will remember, a computer of 10 years ago was so complex that it took years of training just to learn how to plug one in. Now, someone in first grade can use the contraption. In closing, all I can say is dont be deceived. DOUBLE DAT Any Large Pizza and a Pitcher of Soft Drink $9.95 Every Hiesday Evening 4 to 9 p.m. at participating Pizza Hut Restaurants Also Available For Carryout PUxa other expires Hut. regular Offer December 31, 1984. Not good with any discounts Offer good on menu prices only (01984 Pizza Hut, Inc. |