Show REFORMER DEMENT mr richard dement of the town of lexington Lexin gion mclean county has baa descended from the high position of a statesman to that of an ordinary man and lie he has struck the cold earth with a dull sick sickening ebing thud that must have jarred all of liis bis back teeth when whichard Kb Xhi ichard chard was appointed surveyor general of he set out on his mission with his mind fully made up to do and dare for fer the eternal right heretofore his time had been taken up chiefly in about the political oolitic al platter platted and to soul yearnings now tie he was to be given an opportunity to show what he could do da he loaded his bis gun for bear and like the knight of la mancha set out to redress all the abuses of the world when mr dement landed in washington the other day he declared that he had discovered a colossal mares nest he had bad found utah to be an exact copy of the heathen countries depicted in bishop aebers hymn where every pros prospect act pleases and only man is vile N nyne nine tenths of the land entries are fraudulent and the mormon church has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in corrupting congress and buying up members of the senate and house in proof of these statements dement poin pointed ted to his gripsack which he averred was a repository of documents a magazine of facts a Pan doras orals box of statistics concerning concertin utah the correspondents shuddered and hastened to inform their respective sheets beets what a cyclone dement was about to co uncork and like the angel in the be apocalypse se was about to sow wide ruin ratia and desol desolation lation over the entire continent the rumor immediately produced a widespread feeling telegrams poured in thick and last fast upon the would be reformer asking him what he meant in this dilemma dick did not we grieve to say stand his ground he did not eju entrench himself within his carpet sack back and bid the foe come on and do his bis worst no he be denied thu the whole thing and said he never told the reporters any such thing this in turn has angered tile the men of ink and they now rush to the fore and swear by the beard of the prophet that he be did and that they can prove it alas for reformer dementi dement his zeal has plunged him into a sea of difficulties tie he has now no resort but in the dilemma he is either an awful falsifier or else he is a wilful liar whichever horn he chooses it is likely to defeat him before the senate even the democratic senators say that they thel are firmly convinced that whatever else else he may b it is certain that he be is a born too fool I 1 and 8 should hould not be permitted to run at large let us drop a tear over demerit dement he was so young so tender so amiable he started out with such high hopes hoped that it Is a great pity he should have fallen before so ely and killing a frost dement was a man of high ambition last year in the very agony of the flaat between logan and morrison he presented himself before the warring combatants and intimated that in case a candidate was needed whose record was pure and whose motives were honorable tie he would not object to the choice settling upon him it is sad therefore eto to think that a man who cherished this view of his own abilities and whose swelling breast felt that he was equal to all the demands of statesmanship should be found unable to run so small an office as that of surveyor general to a territory oli oh what an intolerable deal of sack to a mouldy bouldy tupp ennys worth ol of bread peoria journal |