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Show THE SAN JUAN RECORD Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - Page middle of the floor, acting like they were raised in a barn. I am almost certain that the band teacher, Mr. Muhlestein, gives out a handout How to Store Your New Band Instrument. Upon arriving home, it is best to immediately drop your instrument in the entrance ofthe house. Preferably in such a way that anyone trying to come in the house will have to physically move said instrument with the door, trip over it, or jump over it. Under no circumstances must you actually take it to your room so that it will be handy to practice. Finally, desperate to blame someone for teaching my kids 12 How about this? I have found a half eaten bowl of cereal in the bathroom. Call me strict, but I can think of at least one rule that should A Mothers Curse After delivering the same lecture to the same kid for the same thing for the millionth time, my too kind and loving wife whispered under her breath, I hope YOU have kids just like YOU when you grow up. Whoa! Dejevu. Where had I heard that before? Okay, Im not a saint. Sometimes I have a cow because some things that my kids do drive me CRAZY. All I want to know is... where do they learn this stuff? I want to know who teaches them to do these annoying things. I am sure that I didnt do those things when was a kid. Doesnt it drive you crazy when your kids leave their I backpack, jacket, and band instrument on the floor right inside the front door in the middle of the entrance? Can someone please explain this to me. Anyone? Or what about finding half eaten snacks, dirty socks, a football and a shoe in the good living room? And, I dont want to air my dirty laundry, but I have actually found a pair of used underwear in the middle of the kitchen floor. I can only hope that whoever left them there didnt actually change them where I found them. never be broken. Do not eat in the bathroom or go to the bathroom in the kitchen. And whoever uses the last of the toilet paper, would it be asking too much to get a refill? And dont just set it on top of the toilet tank or on top of the toilet paper holder. Remove the old roll and put the new roll back into the toilet paper dispenser. eventually. Then it dawned on me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It all came crumbling down. I was had! I finally remembered where I had heard those fateful words. They were uttered by MY own mother many years ago. After she had given the same lecture to the same kid (me) for the same thing for the millionth time. My mother said, I hope YOU have kids just like YOU when you grow up. OH NO, the Mothers Curse! At the time I think I told her, Well, I hope that I have kids just like me too. Were gonna have fun cant wait until they make test for household I item... sorta like the preg- these bad habits, decided that it had to be my too kind nancy test. You can rest as- and loving wife. I could just sured that whoever put that I a DNA be in for it then. Ill carefully scrape the booger into the DNA tester. Shake it for 30 seconds and poof it turns green or blue or purple; color coded to match with each child. And then thinking about the tantrum he is going to throw... ranting and raving about a stupid toothpaste cap. Any idea how ridiculous hell look when he Once, I actually walked each of my kids to the site of the crime scene and asked them, Is this your booger? No one would admit to the offense. I have to confess that I had my suspicions about who was doing these things and teaching my kids all these bad habits. First, I thought it had to be their cousins or the neighborhood kids, since I was sure that MY kids wouldnt do those November 7 Saturday 9 am - 5 pm Sunday 9 am - 4 pm 6-- s Admission $4 Clip this coupon for 500 off admission price J s J Oh yeah, and another thing, kids. You dont have to refill the toilet paper dispenser. So what if HE gets stranded. Thats his problem for not con- ducting a thorough facility checklist. He works for the government; he knows that no job is considered finished until the paperwork is done! You can bet dad finds this amusing... go ahead, just leave him things. Then I decided that it was their teachers. When I sent them to school, they were normal, happy d, stranded. Dont worry, someone will hear him yelling... kids. And poof, they came back dropping all their stuff in the SERVJNG.ALL YOUR ELECTRICAL NEEDS TOM PALMER 435-678-21- 08 Attorney At Law Alan C. Jensen, D.D.S., M.S. 317 S. Main, Suite 3 570 West 400 North Moab, Utah 435-259-24- or 55 435-259-22- Fax 435-678-32- 68 84532 If Call for an appointment Criminal law DU I 32 JQvvww CELEBRATE Custody Appointment ; Buy Sell Trade comes to his senses? Jensen Orthodontics Call for j Just think of the entertainment. I giggle just SCHULTZ Drug Possession DomesticDivorce room! Now! Grand Junction, CO Lincoln Park Barn WILLIAM L. Monticello put your pack back in your crazy. Ill have the culprit. well-adjuste- said, Yes dear, when you have kids you can let them do that and anything else you want to. But you cant do that while Im your mom. So march back in there and pick up your trumpet, hang up your jacket, and GUN SHOW see her tutoring the kids while I was gone, Okay kids. Now there are few things you need to learn. First is the toothpaste cap. Never put it back on. It makes dad so mad and booger on the wall is going to all the time and I wont make them go to bed. And I wont make them clean or pick up their stuff every day. And I wont make them practice and Ill let them eat in the good living room and watch all the TV they want. My mom looked at me and H SPECIALIZING IN BRACES Will be in Moab November 18 & 19 587-280- 8 $ ft 3 ba $to 3 ye i (uihs yioto A Personal & Practical Way To 2 ; ft Send y y y y y Made from a negative or a print imprinted with YOUR choice of greeting in 3 styles Ready in days at reasonable prices! We can Jtiola csHyb tfexiretf Only At Cortez Camera Outlet At San Juan Record In Monticello CORTEZ CAMERA I Lrt y Your Holiday Greetings This Year! DISCOUNT IF ORDERED BEFORE Nov 15 Sat V 1 tstv - Mon Sat Main Cortez 9 am - 6 pm 740 E 970-565-40- 00 3 y y y y Saturday October 30 y The Best Win A Trip For Two To Nevada i Karoke Best Costume Contest THE DOUBLE DEUCE 313 HWY 666 DOVE CREEK. CO 97(F677'9557 |
