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Show 3 THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE, SUNDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 30. 1928. naTiiitituunnniiiiintfmtnnmu:i!ui3t:iCfi:tfiiirtiiif Injims Make Big Medicine s: By Will Rogers I knq w is just what I read in the papers, or what I run WELL, all from d3iy to day. I was sitting in my dressing room at the theater whejje I come in the afternoon to kinder hide out and get a little public annoying done, and the back doorman came in and said, "Mr. Bender to see you." I says, "Bender, what Bender? Show him in anyway and I will look him over." Well, in he comes, and who do you think It is? Well, it ain't a soul but our old s. Baseball Pitcher for the, Philadelphia "Chief Bender!" All you young folks skip right over this Article, for it may not interest you, but before you throw it away hand it to your parents and say to them, "Pop, did you ever hear of a Ball Player named Chief Bender? What did he ever do? Here is this old Man Rogers writing something about him." Your Dad will grab the paper and say, "You young America! You mean to tell me you never heard of Chief Bender! Do they tench you about Washington, or Lincoln, or Bryan, or Carrie Nation at your schools and not teach you about Chief Bender? My boy, he is what made pitching famous. Had there been no Chief Bender there would have been no Pitcher in Baseball. They would have just let the second, baseman tlyrow the ball up to the batter as- - a matter of formality, or mayba let Mayor Walker pitch, or Calvin or Just anybody. You go and tell your Teacher to learn something about American history. 1 laseball is our National game, the same as war is omr National herojlc effort, and Bootlegging is our National in- me, and give me the Indian war dustry. Shame on, our educa- Whoop all during the game." tional Institutions 'if they don't "Chief, you know who was sitting teach the children about Chief Bender and all ou other Base- here in this dressing room the other ball Heroes." night? He was out in front at the "Hello, Chief; Gee, 1 am glad to see Show, Pop Warner!" Haven't seen y4 u since I went you "Oh, Is that so? I went to Carlysle put in Philadelphia and had dinner in '98. wanted to play football, but at your house maybe i bout 1910." was so tall and skinny, to a year or "Hello, Will! You Joeing a Cherotwo I finally made sub end. I was kee, I always been sorter keeping there with the Metoxens, Bemis where seen of track you. I guesstj you Pierce, Johnson, Dillon (the man Charley Curtis, our Kaw Brother, that hid the ball under his Jersey and had worked for the j:overnment for made the touchdown against Haryears, and he finally got set back to vard). The boys used to Tike to make Vice President. didn't you?" the football team because they got better things to eat. You got steaks Have Known Curtis then, instead of just gravy. You '.'or Many Yean. know, the Government didn't feed and did hear Uiat, Chief, the Indian much better than they "Yes, I T .Artuinlu fat had ithnu! it. Cflllw1 have taken care of them. You know, I have known him fpr years, and I people don't know it, but Pop Warcan remember when b e was Leader of ner used to go out on the reservations the Republican side In the Senate, every summer and pick out boys that and when you was Lt vder of that side looked promising. There was no rich you dldn t have to w I Try much what Alumni to send him material. You the other side would do. He really know, Wiy, he taught me how to had some authority nd I was sorry throw a curve and a slow ball. He to see 'em set him bock to nothing HUGE COPPER ORDERS SEEN Anaconda President Record Exports for Year. Ath-.letic- Us 1 w Injuns must was baseball Coach, too. For a slow ball I used to hold it to the middle of my hand. It was the way. but it was effective. Mathewson used to be over at a school adjoining. Bucknell, at the same time. You know, when he used to have those wonderful teams Pop Warner only had about 200 to pick from. Think of what these big schools nowadays have, and say. Will, to those days it was all Just bucking the line or kicking. Imagine what would najgfTi nowadays if Pop Warner had a bunch of those fast Babies with this Forward pass, and all this open field stuff, with him coaching and a bunch of good Indians. Harvard and Yale and Princeton wouldn't get their Raccoon coats off before they had had at least fifty scored against them." ! but a Toastmaster. .How you been. Chief?" "Oh, I been manaq ng Ball teams, and Coaching Baseb.i 11 at Annapolis lor the Navy for six years," "Did, you learn 'em how to get the other team's signals, 4 hief ? Iremem-be- r whan you and H try Davis used to coach at first arid third for the old A's and you knel t what kind of a ball the Pitcher w. ould throw before he eot out of bd 1 in the morn ing. . Every time the". Pitcher wound up ypu Just told the fatter what was going to happen. Wiy, it was almost like the Literary Dij ;est calling the ,urn on an election, j You made some great batters out of men that never got a foul after they left your team. How did you do that. Chief?" "Well, we just studl ed em Pitchers have a certain way of doing everyolitician. You thing Just like a know yourself, Will, you know youris self what he golf g to say before he even takes his fil st drink, downtown with the recep tlon Committee, and that's the waj I studied Ball Players. They are, pretty near as as Politilimited in their cians. If they usi d a signal ten years ago they thin k it Is good yet, and they would hf ve been Just as well off if they hi.d announced to the batter, 'Here isja Curve,' or 'Here I is a fast one.' " "Remember the time. Chief, to 1905, 1 think lt wasi . you all beat and Mathev son and McGln-nity- ? You won tht it series yourself." "Yes, but I was 1 ucky. Will. Matty was a great Pitchi :r, and McGinnity beat Coombs They hurrahed More Literary Scandals er Things like these keep people to Lionaon awake all nignt. The publishers of the new book wrap themselves up to mystery and deny any knowledge of anything. But the outlook in the commercial sense is so encouraging that we may look forward to further sensations in the near future, as thus reported in the press of the next few months: Reputation of Adam Blasted. excitement Terrific has been aroused to the book world by the new a of work, publication ostensibly a novel, under the title "The First Gardener." whicl. is to reality a thin- ly veiled attack on Adam. In the book Adam, who appears under the disguised name of Mc- Adam, holds a position as caretaker in a zoological garden from which 3-- V By CORNELIUS F KELLEY, President, Anaconda Copper Mining Company. There is every prospect that 1929 will prove to be a prosperous year for the Copper industry. The progressive sections of the world are extending systems of electrification, teleAutomobile phone and telegraph. production Is on the increase. The use of radios is growing. Electrical refrigeration, copper washing machines and utensils are becoming standardized household equipment. Brass plumbing, copper leaders, flashing and gutters, are recognized specifications to good building. All this means the use of copper and brass products to rapidly increasing quantities and for widely diversified purposes. The essential qualities of the metal for electrical purposes, Its enduring lwWt,.t,.,fcl.lH qualities to resisting corrosion and oxidation and the adaptability of it stand together. and its alloys for structural ornamentation, place it to a unique posi"Chief, when did Thorpe come to tion as an indispensable and desired Carlysle?" adjunct to those economic and social "Oh, he was after me. He come jn activities of mankind that are rapidabout 1907. But when he come they ly extending and advancing. knew it." For some years the productive ca"Where you living now, Chief?" of the industry was to expacity "Oh, out to the edge of Phlladel-- , cess of consumptive demand. The phia, just 568 feet high, right on the progressive increase to the latter has level with William Penn's hat on the apparently overcome the former. The current year closes with the largest City Hall." "Well, us Injuns got to stick to-- j production and the greatest conChief. For white these peogether, sumption to the history of the indusple are about to take this country. try to its credit. The outlook for You know Coolidge tried to claim the coming year is bright. The exkin to us last year, but that was only port demand, due to the economic rean ad to get the Indian vote. But it's covery of Europe, the stabilization too bad about Curtis, for we had of currencies and the general trend kinder depended on him doing some-- I toward peaceful and productive purthing for us." suits, promises to exceed that of any "Yes. Will, that was a big dtsap- - prior yearjf Practically all productive pototment to me. I thought he would units are tMnntoa to normal capacity. amount to something some day, too." There are no surplus stocks of metal. By Stepftien Leacock that over in England another great literary scandal IT APPEARS just broken out. Somebody has written up in veiled form the life of some Royal Duke or Royal Prince nr Rnyal Person, and a terrific storm of discussion has ensued. I am not sure of the details of the matter,but it seems to be one of those biographical cyclones that sweep over the reading public every six months. The reputation of everybody concerned has been shaken to its base and the public is having a glorious time. It appears from the book that the Countess of X (who has been dead only ninety years) was very seriously compromised with Prince Q (buried in 1840) and that Lord P (only 38 in 1819) was in reality a of the of Corbu, who died of hydrophobia at Baden-Bade- n in 1850. half-broth- Predicts Peace-Tim- e chapters of intimate gossip between and Methuselah that reveal things about both of them had that hitherto only been whispered. There are also some delicateabout ly naughty chapters mother-to-la(aged 203) which all London is eating up with avidity. ' S Protest Now In Order. In spite of the literary sensation and the commercial profit effected by the appearance of the Life of Touting Common, a certain amount of antagonistic feeling has been called forth against the future issue of such a publication. "After all," says a distinguished M. P., "we ought to remember that the late king was the sovereign of a friendly and allied state with which our history has been closely connected. Whether true or not, the innuendoes of the book cannot but fall to be distasteful, indeed painful, to ms descendants, of whom we believe there are several hundred thousand now to tre w fully veiled attack on Satan. The sale reached half a million copies last week. Reputation of Noah Exploded. "Life on the Ocean Wave." This book, which has created the principal furor of the London season, is plainly and simply nothing more than an attack on the life of Noah. It is framed as a work of fiction, but the disguise is not difficult to remove, in so much as Captain is to command of a ship called On the other hand, it is also the Ark which sails from Port Art rowroot. Keen-eye- d reviewers at claimed that our current fiction once called the public's attention to needs Just this kind of brightening the close resemblance between Noah and Noherty, Ararat and Arrowroot. Shem and Jim, and so forth. In addition to showing Noah, or ty up and that we want not less but more of it. There is room, it is said, for a snappy little book on Nebuchadnezzar and for a bright little skit on The Thirteenth Ming Dynasty of China. Indeed, it is whispered that an eminent firm is preparing to bring out a whole series to be called "Naughty Old Men" and sweep the market clean. o (Copyright, 1928, by Metropolitan Newspaper Service, New York. ) Child Pasteur Saved Became Hit Watchman PARIS OP). The first child Pasteur succeeded to curing of hydrophobia in 1885 now is principal gatekeeper at the Pasteur Institute laboratories. He is Joseph Meister, an Alsatian. Meister has grown older and stouter, but he is still known as Little Meister, "le petit Meister," to everyone at the institute. He keeps watch at the gate Just opposite the building which houses the vault and last resting place of the great scientist who saved his life, the first of so many others. I m a mid. Species Target in Fever Fight The Sunday Motorist THE ABK1DUED MAGAZINE FOli f OWNERS. CAK LnuuHiNUiuuiuwHiiuuuHiiniiui:m:i:i:iuu:i.ui;iiiiuiu By H. CLIFFORD BROKAW, Technical Adviser New York City West Side Y. M. C. A. Antonio- mobile School. Frequently the procedure in buying an automobile is to spend months to a minute study of whether one can afford to buy a car at all or not, and how the wherewithal can be saved and then to devote about five minutes to selecting one of the new models. This is all very good for the salesman who happens to be the! lucky first contact with such a pros- peci He has a snap. Often the car hnnsrht on .his nasi turns out to be very satisiactory to tne customer However, this is not the ideal way to proceed to buying an automobile. It is not proposed here that one should waste a lot of time in selecting a car. It is suggested that a reasonable amount of study be given to the Job. In the first place. It Is a very enjoyable occupation, this matter of purchasing a motor vehicle, and one should get all the fun out of lt that is possible. Since the fun of owning a car is much greater than buying one, the buying process should not be unduly delayed. One of the first things to do when contemplating purchasing an automobile Is to examine the family bud get to order to find out about how much should be spent tor this purpose. It is estimated that the aver-- ! age retail price of automobiles in 1928 was about $700. This appears to be a little lower than the estimated average price for 1W5. which lndl- cates that the costs of automobile ownership are becoming somewhat lower, although the lowering in the general cost of living is not noticeable. In spite of the fact that the United States is the wealthiest nation to the world, that lt has over 4,000,000 people filing income tax report- and that the average net income of the taxable class of American citizens in 1927 was over $5000 a year, the purchase of a new automobile Is an outstanding event. As to buying clothes or furniture or other necessities of life, It is not always the best policy to secure the product which carries the cheapest price. In fact, it may be economy to the long rui to pay out a larger initial amount than the budget would seem to easily afford. When buying an automobile, a person must consider for what purpose the car is desired and over what period of time one expects to get service out of such a car. Some people follow the practice of trading in an automobile every year for a new car. Others expect to use the same car for eight to ten years, or a long as the machine will hold together. There are many terms of service to between these two extremes which may appeal to a prospective automobile owner. How this matter is decided may have a definite bearing on the price one should pay for an automobile. about what Having determined price will be paid for a car, the next secure is to the catalogs procedure and other literature concerning automobiles which come within the price range or close to lt. One can then sit down and carefully study the merits of these various makes without being subjected to anything more than the printed salesmanship which will be found in these advertising folders. Having made this study, lt will be possible to eliminate all but a few of the designs described. Further information concerning these few makes can be secured by talking to people who own and operate them. Having absorbed all of this information and various opinions, one should then be prepared to subject himself to the Influences of representatives of these makes of cars. Visits to the salesrooms of these concerns will probably bring out further points of interest and supplement information already received. Having made this further study involved in the actual visit to the salesrooms, one should then be In a position to make a satisfactory choice of the automobile which will best serve his or her purposes. There is one thing which can be given some consideration to case the ""aspect vtuurcruwww of an automobile and wishes to trade the used car toward the cost of a new one. It is at this point that the buyer.; sometimes go astray. They are inclined to purchase the automobile from the salesman who will give the largest amount for the used car toWhile lt is desirward a trade-iable to secure all you possibly can tor the old car, it is not always economy to accept the highest price. The principal concern should always be to secure value to the new ear which will give the services desired by the new buyer. The essential thing in an automoits bile is its mechanical make-uability to carry one from one point to another. The matter of comfort in riding is another Important consideration. The matter of beauty of lines may appeal to one's esthetic nature and should not be entirely ignored. However, beauty of design is not major consideration, although many buyers are tempted to consider it so. They feel that they must have distinctive lines so that nr oui a rata than a wucit ii rriAtUBio NEW YORK UP). Malaria control can be made less costly, Professor Francis Metcalf Root of the Johns Hopkins university suggested today, by concentrating campaigns against about six species of mosquitoes. Although there are more than forty American species of anopheltoe mosquitoes, he told the American Association for the Advancement of Science, only about six are probably important as spreaders of malaria. Their breeding places are often sufficiently different from those of the harmless varieties, he declared, to make species control, or at least "group control," measures practica- n. i ble. the vehicle will make a good impresupon their neighbors and friends. As a matter of fact, most sutomoblles are now attractive to tooks. so that the matter of beauty hould be thoroughly subordinated to the quality of the engineering and thef materials which go to make up the machine. When it comes to real quality, it must be recognized that such automobiles must be priced at a higher range than the average. In purchasing an automobile the buyer should consider this as an investment extending over a period of years. He can, consequently, plan to suread his vear after year automo bile expense over a long period ahead, instead of as a large expense during any particular year when a new ear may be secured. The technique of buying it does require the use of ordinary good judgment sion (Copyright, New York Trib- 1929. une, Inc.) HVktre Winter Ifever Contcs wg Beach I 1' v . itta concerts, f . mm ii a rKm spitsl ai v . . . ;, Kxjru roll m h. .LiZDwcO "T ,o this wtM- -d ""T L00 I v . V II I AAWW V SW M s lHKaPbflnfla fi kaaHe "Good as New" though not mentioned often is frequently found when you answer Tribune "Automobile Want Ads" and other Bargalna, tTVTi too! The Stutz has speed in super-abundanc- Who Says Automobiles But it e. Aren't Selling? also has the mastery to perfectly control that And that is the speed. Positive "4 --Day Ad gens the Sedan" Must sell 1M7 T model I our --door sedan, wire wheats, ram new tires: bargain S2S0 email or 1190 930 Wilmington down and terms. a RECENT!,' i THOROUGHLY RB VOVATE1) FEW JESIRABLE OFFICII S FOR RENT i CRITICS a. 1 of the buslnen hrjvrt w of bin half-bloc- k busiest efirrujr In city next door to Capitol llieater. VERY (J OOD OFFICES 112 50, ft.' to tit a month Few Inside rooms as low as 11". 9 0 a month reason why it is the most secure car that travels Situated district, Wa WWWMNVNhAMaS The Salt Sake Tribune Offers FirsT, Aid Facts Emergency Information for handling accident, and sudden lllnesa, complied In brief booklet form, is of ferod by oui Washington Information Bureau What to do lght away for burns, brulaea, around) i, cuta, dog bites, bee. stings, gas prAwiB. frostbite, nosebleed, hlccougl is, snake bitos. faintelectric ing, cramps,ms. drowning, ny other sudden af- shocks, and fUeuona Knnwrdie a f what to do before the doctor arr) raa wUI save suffering and sometl ne save life Oet Tour ct py of this booklet now. tm the coupon. Frederic J. Hai kin Director. The Salt Lake Tribune Information Bureau. Washington. D. C. I enclose ha ewttn six cents In coin or stamrt for a copy of the First Aid Bool rt Ha:nc Street Mr. Satin, Eva's frieni, is thought to represent a veiled attack on Satan. the public are excluded and which is Noherty. as a hopelessly incompetent plainly meant for the Garden of navigator, the novel represents him Eden. The book is intended to ex- as having been twice married, so that pose McAdam's utter ignorance of Shem and Ham were only half brothers to Japhet. This last Innuendo gardening and lack of any qualification for the care of animals, has excited London up to the boiling Stale 4-- : A dependable family conveyance always, it is a remarkable achievement of the point. The new book is having an enor-Mcirculation, little else being talked of in fashionable and literary best of modern engineering skill and sagacity. Daring Exposure Of Amen . A work professing to be a novel, but more daring in its personal denunciation than any of the recent literary sensations, has just appeared in the form of an attack on the repuThe book tation of is from cover to cover a thing diatribe on the late king of Egypt. masked under the title '.'The Life and Times of Touting Common King of Ghejypt." The book presents a picture of the late ruler of Egypt very different from that which has been hitherto accepted as history. Most people hare supposed that wfs born in the year 3431 B. C or the Egyptian year 22.808. th nc novel daringly changes the date of the kings birth and sets him back fire years, which makes him 106 years old at th time of his tenth marriage Instead of 100. as most of us have thought. The number of the king's wires, is boosthitherto put at twenty-five- ', ed up to 22S. There are, moreover, j THE Tot-Ank- if gery. Still greater Interest centers around the personality of Eve. disguised as Eva to the book. H Is hinted indeed, more than hinted that Eva was never properly married In church to atcAdam. The sweeping effect of this indictment in its consequences for the whole hu man race is only too obvious The story closely parallels the ac- ceptcd story of Adam and Eve atJ every point. Mr Satin. Era's friend, who spends much time with the aft- Adams In their garden, is thought by the reviewers to represent a care- - i LOW- - WEIGHTED STUTZ Essex 818 SOUTH MAIN STREET PH0NF WAJATCH 3638 Distributors I'tah. Idaho. Western Wyaoarag and Eastern Nevada Dav" tion, tits was. seca-"SaU reed Track. 10 Calls" ton truck with eab: sseel-lrMr Harvey. Ure equipment. SV Was. 523 797 W. 2nd South ' FORD and Models Are Selling "KsJd Franklin 4 Calli" sedan 1928 model, cheap. 4900 KB So Main. nuKKI.ru Was "Wanted Roadster 15 Calls" must be In rood condition; cheap for ceah Murray 369-- FORD roadster; on Swap Ad" "Answers OOOD Chevrolet auto for "what your By. J1H-- R hart "Dorrn Calls on ForrT FORD tourlor. ear. halUjon tlr 1M Bo. era good condition. 450 1923 "Sold STUTZ-ALLHANDS-SHANN- First BALLOONS. ESSEX COACH. FTKE CORD1 BEATER. BUMPERS Storfebaker -told 27 STT'DEBAKER ( OUFE Original . a' 4ST1-- "oM MS Makes circles. Br "Jold Chevrolet Coupe 4 Calls" Tl 1927 Cher Coup: motor, paint upholstery and tires are perfect: ral- ly equipped with bumpers, motometer. wines neater, automatic wiper Miiat sell now A snao at Was (121 or By m having obtained his post merely, so lt is implied, for the lack of a better man. Keen controversy has broken out in literary circles as to whether the strictures to the book are Justified by the facts. Among hostile critics of the book. Dean Ding Dong reminds his readers that after all, thanks to Adam's care, we have the animals with us now and as the Dean says to his' caustic way, "Look at them!" Several of the leading scientists, however, take the other side and qlaim that the animals on the whole are a bum lot, much distorted from what they might have been by Adam's ignorance of veterinary sur- ) !Cy any highway. 1 j -- it is usita to gjx Mosquito Miiv Calh" VICTORIA THROCOBOUT A bargain from new Cant be S U. MeBrtde. 7th So ano tor Main streets ta. "Sold f oBpe Several SERIES A FORD COUPE Must st.l Will die- for Sswa t 1140 A real bargain Oaa arrant terms. By. WI1-- r This Ad Traded Dodre" true foe sale or truck Waa 147 DODOS will trsde for Urge 1194 Thru Tribune Quick Action Want Ads. |