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Show ; Magazine section Which Twitchcomb? 1 had a very gooa Job In fact, he waa In possession of practically ah the Job the bank had to apare. He wai cashier, reclerk, ceiving teller, paying teller, intereet correbookkeeper, aseletant treasurer, odd times, at sponding secretary, and, of course, janitor. There was a president,board of diand a rice president, and a rectors, but they were, so to speak, mere onlookers. Once a month, as a matter of habit, these officials came together for a meeting, examined the books, talked oyer the Investments, looked extremely wise,e and then went placidly about their which had nothing whatsoever to do with tho Savings Bank of Burnley. They hold frequent meetings of an unofficial and Informal character, however on street corner or over the counters of when various mercantile establishments one very grave and harassing quest on with almost was discussed, Invariably bated breath most certainly utth troua was hot It mien. bled and anxiousstaquestion Involving the policy or the outbility of the bank, nor the financial nor look, nor the curtailment of expe nsr, Twitchcomb, at 37, In tho savings bank. buu-nee- XC - combs salary, or providing him with acheap assistant. It was a far more lmporIt was the question of Twitchcomb ins Not that It was Impaired or health Ho was. on the the least suspected. whole, a singularly healthy person notwithstanding a somewhat distressing lean. The -- -- tendency to remain excessively officials of tho bank, delving as far back as possible Into the physiological history of the Twltclicombs, sustained themselves with an unbroken record of combined longevity and spareness. waa a very tblij, Twltchcombs father cadaverous man who had lived to bs nearto thf Orim ly 89 before surrendering d Reaper, whom he unexpectedly while crossing a railroad track In his buggy a few years hack. Twitch comb's uncles and aunts w,ere lean, old people, and his grandfather, passing awav at tha age of 8. might easily have 11' ed to be an hundred If his health had not been so good that It misled him into behv lieving "that he could sate 10 cents w alklng nearly two miles through a Febabout doctor ruary bllssard to consult the a cold that appeared to have settled in his lungs While all this wds very comforting to the president and directors of the hank, there still remained a desolating possibility that Twitchcomb might. perversely, catch something or other and be pur to bed by hts doctor and. while hts doctor was one of the directors of the institution, it waa hardly to be expected that he would allow his interest In the welfare of tho bank to interfere with that of his and Inpatient, especially If the faithful up dispensable Twitchcomb should turn or tvphold, or blood with pneumonia, of sort the poisoning, or anvthlng else There van some consolation to be derived from the fact that he had had practically all of the maladies known to childhood. such as measles, mumps scarlet fever and chickenpox, it was not likely fall a would he prey to anv of the that annual epidemics,- - although there was cause for uneasiness In the knowledge that a person may ha'e measles more than once and It goes pretty hard with adults There was also the constant fear that In winter time he might fall on an lev sidewalk and break a log or an arm while the summer time had its and its sunstroke to sa nothing of the perils arising from canned plonk sudden changes of lunches, poison I' y churches-- careless temperature- - draft' and so on of celebrations Fourth July The time had come, however, when thev felt more or lese satisfied that he had passed the dangerous ago when matrimony Is a menace to all other fbrms of He seemed to be a cautious, fidelity contented sort of bachelor who could be trusted to avoid the unnecessary expense There had of having a Wife and famtlv been times, to be sure when It looked a though he might be on the point of fal terlng, but such criseo passed without dlseaster. He steadfastly remained sing e and that was Just what the offlc'als of ail mamel the bank desired They men and they knew how difficult It is to fill two the same at jobs satisfactorily time So they were very much relieved when Twitchcomb failed to spec u mb to the wiles of the Presbyterian ministers sister who cams to Rumley for a vls't of two weeks and remained nearly two veara before concluding It. Things looked verv serious aye, threatening when she managed o lure Twitchcomb Into the church choir, and they were positively ominous when she acted as bridesmaid and he as best man at thsNqveddlng of Miss Martin. the organist, and George Camp, the bass slngsr. But somehow Twitchcomb escaped, not only In that Instance, but also on two other occasions when rumor had hlm fajrly well hooked with Miss Efla Frtsble. the librarian, and Mrs Estelle Perkins, a widow. Now, while It would appear on the surface that Twitchcomb was not a marrving man, and that his employers were justified in their conviction, the fact remains that he was blessed with a heart that was almost polygamous In Its strivings It was constantly on the jump, first this way and then that, leaping, so to speak, from peak to peak almost but quite within hailing distance of the coveted seventh heaven, but never for one Instant exposing its lofty vacillations to the angels It approached with fear and trembling. For, be It known, Twitchcomb was not only an extremely shy person, but he was a calculating one as well. If the truth must be tola, he was successively in love with, half the unmarried women In tow-n-. and It was the dearest desire of his soul to he a married man. So brief and so varied were these passing enchantments that one might be pardoned for describing them as dreams. At any rate, they never cams to anything real. Indeed, he never bv any chance went so far as to allow a aing.e member of the multitude to even suspect that he was passionately Interested In her, and as for "popping the question" well, he couldnt, that was all. He came very near to doing It when he waa 20, as all adolescents are prone to do but as maturity supplied him with increasingly wary intuitions he began to doubt the wisdom of taking a step in the dark when there was still so much light ahead for guidance end observation. In the first pises, was it quits sensible of him to get married when he was earning barely enough to keep himself In food 2nd clothes? Hs decided most properly that It was not. By the time he was 28. he figured, he would be earning enough to enter Into a protracted engagement with some girl; and If ell went well they could risk being married when he was 10. That was ths sensible at Tt It was fair to assume that he would be earning at least one hundred dollars a month and possibly more, counting the intereet he would be getting on the thousand dollars bs expected to have saved up by that time. No use gotng about the thing rakhly. To make the story short, Twitchcomb continued to hesitate until he became what la commonly known as a bachelor, although bachelors stoutly maintain that thsy should bs described as wise old owls, and "Jolly good fellows. and "odd man who are always In demand. Hence at 87 Twitchcomb had a snug little fortune estimated at somewhere between 820.000 end 180,000, and he waa still thinking about getting married when hs felt sure that he could affyd to do so. The worst of It was getting a bachetrifle bald: and when a his lose hair he shrewdly lor begins to woman lookths average that isnt figures of thrift when die ing forward to a life man baldheeded onto herself as e takes s husband. On the contrary. She thinks she is feathering her neat So Twitchcomb, notwithstanding hie rtghteoue desire to be a married than, continued to live In solitary confinement in the same cosv little room In the same coxy little boarding house that had been his stronghold since hs wee graduated from a business college In Chicago and cams to Rumley to be bookkeeper In the saving bank, aeventeen years ago. Rumley Is a loan of 5000 inhabitants, notwithstanding the meager 3211 allotted to it by the most pernicious tind altogether pusillanimous census bureau In the history of the bountry. - Twitchcomb lived little over two blocks from the public square, where the bank waa located. His boarding house had been recommended to him by Mr. Tuttle one of the directors of the savings bank, a man who possessed the sagacity gentleto see to It that the new bookkeeper did not have to waste any more of the banks time than was absolutely necessary in walking to and from hie midday meal. It must not be assumed that Twitchcomb was a native of Chicago. Far from it He was born and brought up In RumHe went to Chicago merely for the ley purpose of putting the finishing touches to an education lhat had been In the schools of Rumley He waa, In fact, a graduate of the high school and the valedictorian of his class, a distinction that meant a great deal In Rumley, but did not create the slightest commo-tlo- n in. Chicago. There were a- - lor of things he was obliged lo learn in Chicago that were absolutely unknown to the . Rumloy proof- - of whretr rr main with him to this day in the shape of a faint but permanent scar across his right cheekbone, the result of not knowing how to get off a street car rhile It was In motion. He was rather a tall and thin, and surprisingly erectchap, for one who wore so many yokes. If the people of Rum lev had not become BO accustomed to eeetng-hl- s face every In the year thav ou!d no doubt havedayacknowledged that he was quite a bit better locking trovertibly his But certainty tney were not old and ah&peless when he took them off after coming wi from lunch His eyes almost started from his head. The heels sudden, drew themselves together and there, before his very eyes, stood his decrepit overshoes as straight and as trim as you piease. Twitchcomb lowered h s Jida quickly and rubbed them He fe t very queer. W hen he lifted He was seeing things them again it was to actually glare at the darkened recess A fresh cause for wonder not to say alarm was revealed The gap between tbeoverehoes and the bottom of the Ulster a matter of eight or ten Inches was not longer an empty void; the shadowy outlines of a pair of trouser legs filled the space, not neat, trim trouser legs but the kind that sag down upon the instep in spineless abandon, wrinkled, crumpled degenerate And somehow as he stared It occurred to him that the ulster no longer drooped f at and limp from Its hanger. It had expanded, it bulged, it was no longer a personless , garment Ye he certainly was seeing things -He- turned pale a coot moisture oosed hat was the but all over his bodv matter with him' What dreadful afhtnr3 Hts wider fliction staring e'es were now fixed on theo pa,-the between the hat and the collar A face coat appeared there a hasv dusky face, wifh eyes, and a mouth, and high-ebool- Suppose, at 37, You Could Have a Good Talk With Yourself as You Would Be at 77. Or at 77 You Could Talk With Yourself as You Were at 37. the doorway, and he was doing something that he had done htmse.f every morning and noon for years and years. He was looking up at the clock on ths wall. Then. In a moat casual way, hs took his watch from his vest and glanced at it, Twitchcomb pocket recognized this as another bf his habits the persistent and senseless habit of comparing his timepiece with the infallible 'block on the wall every time he entered the room And then, with a great, stupefv'ng shock, Twitchcomb recognized the person who was shuffling painfully toward ths counter. It was himself' There was no getting away from It he was looking at hlmeelf' Not as he was today, but as a man of 75 or 80 His hair was white, and sparse, and stringy; his face was thin and grav and seamed, hts eyes behind the spectacles were narrow and equinty and there were deep, pronounced crows feet at the corners, his forehead was corrugated with a series of sharp furrows, hia huge ears stood out like the preposterous lichens one sees on the trunks of trees, was scraggPv and corded with age. revealing a prodigious and insufficiently clothed Adam s apple Twttchcomb" resumed an "upright posD tlon Somehow, he experienced e sudden profound Interest in himself. He was watching himself with ourlous intensity, not In fear or apprehension nor even In years ago if I d had anvbody here to take my place. Still, I kind of hate to run the risk of having them put some smart young fellow m here to help me out and then have him get to be so competent that he take my job away from me I guess Id better not suggest it to the board' of this bank. If I was president sneered Twitchcomb, aged 87. and was relieved to find his voice had not changed, Id m'ghty soon get rid of you. you disgusting old fossil Of course. j you would," aatd Twitchcomb, aged 77, after a moments uncertainty, "but. you see. you are not the president of this bank, end you never will be. And, whats more, when you get to be as old as I am vou won t be calling yourself an old fossil let me ull vou that, Lo you confounded voung ass you know what I would do if I was as young as you are? just what lm doing now. scoffed Twitchcomb, 37 "Not a bit of It If I was thlrtv-sexeTd quit this job so quick tt would make mv head swim Id take my savings and Invest them In oil wellsor something llke that and 1 d get married and stop playing Santa Claus for other peoples children at the chapel on. Christmas eve- - and l'f come back to this doggoned town from Chicago or New York or London or some other city every year or so Just for the tun of telling everybody connected with this bank to go to hell or something In 11 horn-rimm- good-looki- that. "Yes. mused Twitchcomb 77. leaning his elbow on the counter and resting his chin on his closed fist yea. that old girl has been dead some thirty-eigh- t years. Makes a fellow feel kind of old to look to ewdar back thirty-eiggraI years, cious It does Well, swell, here I am at It again, talking to myself. It's getting to be a habit with me Sign of old age, I suppose Second childhood or something But, confound It, I oughtn't to be I old don t suppose there s a men feeling of my age in the state thats been blessed health with better than I have. Never been laid up sick In over fifty years, never missed a day s work In all that time, only had to have a doctor twice since I was forty years old, and both times tt WZs when I was being examtned for life insurance. Am I carryTwitchcomb 87 started. ing life Insurance?" Twitchcomb 77 Certainly not. The policies came due when I was sixty-fivon I Took them out collected them. and two twentv-yea- r when I was fortv-fi'endowment policies for three thousand Joe Harper waa after me dollars each for ten years before I let him Insure me I wish I d let him do it sooner. The longer Twitchcomb 87- - "Joe Harper makes me tired He knows Tve alwav been dead set against Insuring my life, and, doggone hie hide, he comes In here every few days and harps on the benefit of Insurance until I nearly lose my mind Twitchcomb 77: "Poor old Joe! He died of typhoid about twelve years ago and left his wife end family absolutely penniless Never took ottf a dollars worth of Insurance himself. In spite of all the veara he spent telling other people it waa a crime to be without It. Twitchcomb 87. "He was in here today -a trying to tsJk me Into giving mvseif for five thousand dollar endowment policy a Chriatmae present " Twltcthcomb 77, shaking hia held sadly: The older I get, the more I realise what a blasted fool I was when I was your I hate to look back over my Ills age and see what i missed. For instance,' She waa there was Stella Gosaington the Twitchcomb 87, shortly: "Never heard encoun-countere- -- h'drn-phobl- o ; .. 'ti - x?i Vi i: ? e - . , , ., if I -- , V" J "V Ri e, e, i, jl r V i - f. j 'M v. v V- - jj ii a , of e way.-tQloo- , hsas far-seei- her." Twitchcomb 77. dreamily: "She wa the little milliner that came to live at the boarding house Just about the time I was thinking of asking either Kate Harrison e to marry or Madge me Smart little women, Stella waa But, darn my fool soul, I kept on hanging back, trying to get another ten thousand together, and she got tired waiting and married that smart aleck drummer, Ford Hlnkston O, well, whats the use whining about It now? If fid had a grain of sense I would have married her, and then she wouldn't have had to lead the dogs " She life ahe led with him GAL FIVE Which Twitchcomb 37, Twitchcomb with interest. "Waa she pretty 77Twitchcomb "Pretty as a picture." Twltaheomb 87. his eyes sparkling-Well- , by Jingo. It Isnt too late yet. 1 11 marry her as sure aa my name Is Twitchcomb 77. decisively: "I wouldn't marry her now If she was the last woman She s over sixty, nothing in the world but skin and bones, and shea got three of the ornertest sons that ever lived. One of them, Georg! e. worked here In the bank We had to discharge for a few months him because he set the waste paper bason twice with fire ket clgaret stubs, and once he told Mr Carver right to his face that he'was an old sissy, and Twitchcomb 87 "Who Is Mr. Carver?" Twitchcomb 77, In amaaement "Why, you blamed young tgnoramua, dont you know who the president of this bank Is CerTwitchcomb 37, with asperitytainly I do. James W. Ftlklns Twitchcomb 77 "Been dead for nearly twenty ears. Hamilton Carver le president now. Twitchcomb 27, passing hia hand over I keep forhis brow In bewildermentbeen here fortv jears getting that I Ive anv Idea of You don t longer than had mean young Ham Carver, do you?" Twitchcomb 77 "Well, he used to be He a old Ham CarHam Carver joung ver now-- , same as I m old Twitchcomb now Lord, how time files' And how we fall to improve It' As I stand here looking at mvseif as I was fortv jears ago, I could cry yes, hlr I could shed tears of pure rail The trouble with i fe la that a man doesn't know what to make of It until he reaches an age when he a got to look backward instead of forward It a like climbing clear to the top of a lofty mountain and then looking down from the peak and aavlng. 'Well, that was a pretty stiff climb but now that I m up here the onlv thing I get out of It Is a view of the most beautiful vallev In the world ' It a too late for me to give up thia Job now But bv glorv, if I was vou Id get out tomorrow and have a 1ttle fun tramping around theI beautiful vallev That a what I d do if were vou vou blithering, chicken- parslmonloua hearted 37 all Twitchcomb "That's very well, but Id like to know how the bank would get along without me If I waa to quit or If anvthlng were to happen to me whv, they'd have to close up entirely They almp'v cant get along without me Tw tchcomb 77 gancing up at the clock What are thev snd then at his watch Close up shop going to do when I die Not much As long ss I live and am able to stagger around they'll keep on litereas-In- g mv duties without Increasing whv. I havent had an Increase of salary In seventeen jeare. Whats more. If I was to ask for a ralss they'd bounce me They wou'dn't watt for me to die They d have some young felow In here messing up mv work lns'de of ten days, and the worst of 't Is they d be paying him twice aa much as they feel they can afford to pav me Twitchcomb 37 now looked up at the clock end frowned. It was getting late. Thev had supper at half past six at the boarding house, and he made It a rule te be on hand the instant the bell rang It's time to lock up. he said. "If I dont hustle along I'll be late for the Christmas tree, snd I havent been late in fifteen years. Pshaw That' nothing Whv, five been ahead of time every Christmas eve for fifty-fiv- e years. "For the first time In my life I am beg nning to doubt my own veracltv "Time will tell. waa the sententious When rejoinder of Twitchcomb Ti. Whats-Her-Nam- than the average, but they had got so everiaatmgly used to It that they never thought about it at ail, one way or the other Occasionally he altered it to some extent bv growing mustaches or cultivat ing burnsides but if at time vou had asked anv bodv m Rumlevanywhat sort of a look ng chap Twitchcomb wa, vou worn! have heen to'd that he was a tall, skinnv fellow with light hair and eyeglasses And now for the etorv It was the day before Christmas Twitchcomb had Just laid the blotter down upon the final ink line for the day. and aa he r u h bed tt-gently with the tips of his second and third fingers his gaze took its customary Journey about the cagelike room to see If evervthng was In order This habit of hie rendered the process of blotting the last line a rather protracted one, It mignt ev en be described as an abstracted one, for hts mind seemed to he completely divorced from the physical task he was performing Ordinarily his nimble and efficient fingers passed but once over the surface of the blotter to obtain the de-- s red result, but as it alwavs was with the final entry, thev now wen! back and forth like a shuttle for as manv as twenty times During this period of mechanical activity his eyes reached over the top of the barrier and Inspected the catch on the transom above the door leading to the directors room, passed on to the clork on the wall to see that it was still going. swept the counter for such as forgotten pens, pencils, and nleots per-weights, took In the waste paper basket below the end of the desk noted the exact position oft the closed ledgers on the table bevond, and discovered that the framed portrait of George Washington was again slightly out of balance, observed by the calendar that It was still the 24th of December detected a stray scrap of paper on the floor, and then thankfully wandered down the narrow litUe hall off the counting-rooto where his hat and ulster alwavs hung, the former perched on top of the hat rack post the latter suspended below It in a most orderly and decorous manner upon a wooden coat hanger His overshoes, standing aide bv side peeped out from beneath the sknt of the ulster just as he Invariably His f ngers sudden. v stopped smoothing the blotter and his eves squinted a little as he fixed them Intently on the overshoes It struck him as odd that thev be should pigeon-toe- d unmistakably Never within hie recollection had he failed to deposit them otherwise than parallel, heel to heel, toe to toe Hblinked and resumed hi stare The far end of the passage waa in shadow, the light from the outer room fa ling to penetrate the full length of the hall Moreover, darkness came In through the stoutly barred window that ordinarily let daylight Into the hall, for outside the dusk of the late and snowy December dav But even the gloom did not had settled deceive Twitchcomb For years he had made a point of setting those overshoes down with the most meticulous ce- - He had a reason for this. He was ,ue noticeably pigeon-toe- d himself, a tra.t he had sought vainly to correct and which was the eource of considerable mortification to him. Back in hie school davs he had gained every obnoxious sobriquet because of those Infernal feet (the term Is Twltchcombsl and ha was a good many years living It down. "Pidgy was what the boys and girls had called him. And so, while he found it physically Impossible to control hie overshoes and ahoew for that matter while thev were on his feet, he made It hie business to see that they kept perfectly straight when unoccupied. Thera was no dpubt about It, however. were not only pigeon-toe- d now, but They in the dim light they also appeared to bs somewhat lopsided and run down at the heel. Still they "were hie overshoes: he recognized them despite their shapelessness Thev were absolutely and meon- lv - I 1 feb-rnar- nine-sixty- ," - L. cash to balance," snapped Twitchcomb 37. "J dont care a hang If you are me, you've got to let that cash alone. Took me two houre Co find out that old Mra. Brlghtman had deposited five cents more than I thought she liad, and "Good Lord. I d clean forgotten that. It waa so long ago 1 challenge anybody on earth to produce a better record than Ive made right here In this bank. That was the only time I was ever out of balance for more than ten minutes I remember speaking to Mrs Brlghtman about 't a week or eo before she died and she laughed fit to kill. "She Isn't dead not by a long shot. She was In here at elev en o clock this said Twitchcomb 87. morning. ' O, ves, she is 1 was one of the pallbearers,' thirty eight years ago next February "Then I can look forward to attending her funeral two years from next By laughed Twitchcomb 37. that a rather odd. Isn t tt jingo, ' She had to die some time, the poor old thing. She was e ghty when she passed If she were still living shed be away nearly one hundred and twenty years old now. and 1 doubt very much If she'd be b eta comedaiLla the bank. In. weaxher like this she was in here at "Nevertheless, eleven oclock this morning said Twitchcomb 87. stubbornly "I know It Im not In the habit of calling myself a liar, am I? Bhe deposited n.ne dollars and slxty-flv- e cents, and I credited her with only said Twitchcomb 77. memof ve 'T my always been proud ory." said Twitchcomb 37. "but I never dreamed it could be as as sill i Thing lookmd very eerioa seen threat he ning. a singular1' prominent pair of ear Despite hs Increasing stnpefar tion, he was conscious of the swift almost gratifying thought that came and went like a flash Here wa a nair of rais that stood out faither from the head than his own, and that was something tnat he, through a great manv vears of acute misery, had never beheld before Suddenly the truth biokp In upon him A robber A desperado who had stolen in during the afternoon and secreted himself behind the suspended garment in the dark little hallwav Tw tchiomb was no coward For vears he had lived .n anticipation of a "holdand with hts methodical brain he up had planned just how to meet such an His plans how ev er. had conemergenev templated a frontal attack thev had not consideted an approach from the rear A great Dvrill of excitement- surged through him The fme had come He was about to he confionted bv the desperado armed to the teeth and he was to be called upon to defend the bank s treasure with his Lfe He stooped down behind the desk and to the counter, where in sprang swift a little niche his loaded revolver lav Grasp rg It, he eaped still in a stooping to the sheltei of poslure the steel safe in which the records were b'g A c ear view m the hall was open kept to him beiow the desk at which he had been working " He was great'v dismayed to find that if he maintained his present position of security behind the safe he would have to manage the revol-ve- r with hi left hand an appall ng v antage If The intruder it waa an intruder had not mover Twitchcomb watched him as if fascinated, his fingers gapping the revolver his everv sense alert and exSeveral seconds passed, and he pectant waa on the point of calling out to the rascal thathe had him covered and would shoot if hedld not hold .ip h s hands advance Tus, as he opened his Ups a most starting and uncanny thing happen ed- The figure of a man seemed do exude rather than to emerge from the Ulster The customary clumsv founderlngs of a nerson getting out of an overcoat was The coat Just simplv empt'ed lacking Itself and sagged flat and limp again upon its hanger the hat remained perched on the top of the post, the overshoes undisturbed on the floor, and yet a tall, spare figure stood revealed directly in front of them Tw ItchcomFf was petrified He watched the man In the hallwav as he slowlv, dell hers tel v adjusted his coat cohar. spread his arm Jerkl'y In order to bring his cuffs Into view, straightened hia vest, and then turned to look Into the mirror that hung on the wall beside the w ndow He smoothed his hair with the palms of his hands, drew his necktie a little tighter and. apparently satisfied with his appearance, shuffled haltingly in the direction of the counting-rooTwitchcomb s mouth fell open For fifteen wtnteT and more he had gone through precisely sthe. same routine himself and In exact'y t& same manner He passed a hurried glance over hie own crouching figure, and was re'leved. though puzzled, to find It wa still there and not conning up the hall! Looking up again, he saw the stranger stit-legge- d dts-ad- l'ke that That's what I d do If I was young as vou are 'Well, now that, vou bring the subject up, I don't mind te'ling you that I think you are the doggotidest fool that God ever let ve for sticking to this Job all these years Win vou are old enough to die, vou can hardlv drag vour feet around, and yet you hang on to this Job as If your life depended on it And sav, vou can't make me believ e vou ve never been married I made up mv mind long ago that I d be marr ed before I was fortv. Lord, how well I remember that' And how I saved and scraped till I had thirty thousand dollars tucked awav so that I emud get married to the first girl I asked And tnen what did I do Why. dan mv fool oul I decided to watt till I had fortv thousand After that I got eo In the habit of sa.v,ng an extra ten thousand that I slmplv couldn t get over it The last time I figured R up which was vestertja'- - I had exactlv ore hundred end three thousand two hundred and nine do lars and slxtv seven cents, and nohodv to leave 't to when I die If Id had rnv sene I m.ght have had a few hut whate the use talktng about It More than a hundred thousand dollars saved up to get married on. and I m as smg'e as I was In the beginning. W hv when I come to think of it I could have been married three or four times on I don t know what to do that amount with my monev unless I save It to the church nr the orphan asvlum natural "III tell von what vou can do with He was a little aghast at the manner n some pf it ' scoffel Twitchcomb 87 You can go out which his clothes hung upon h's spare wrinkling up hs nose frame, he could not help frowning se- and aget a decent look ng pair of shoes new and suit and have vour hair cut the at uncreased trouser baggy, verely ou look like the verv dev I wou'dnt and the sagging, shapeless coat Of be in dead the clothes vou ve course tt was plain to be seen that his caught on got were a and thin and trifle spindling legs "It I was to get a nw suit of clothes exposure to time, and his warped shoulders were gaunt and stooped but and slick up a hit as I used to, the dieven so, there was no excuse for letting rector would- begin, to think I was Interthe raceg. and himself go to seed like that He alwavs ested In en- atmresx-- nr had been very pirticular about his clothes thev d put an expert in here lo see whethThe women said he was the most care- er I was short In mv accounts or not fully dressed fellow In Rumlev . he liked Besides, I m sat shed with the wav I look having the women sav that sort of th.ng If vour feet hurt a much as mine do about him And Jiere he was after all voud think a long time before vou tried these years, looking like a scarecrow in to st ck em Into a new pair of shoes I a su't of clothes that hadn t been pressed used to like new shoes hut I m doggoned or brushed for he didn't know how long If I l.ke them now Thev pinch right And this started him to wondering arrows here and thev burn like slxtv. and whether the styles had not changed con- meet generally thev squeak Twitchcomb 77 looked up st the clock siderably In fortv vears. it was reasonable to assume that they had, and that again and then at his watch being the case, what was he doing in a "Well I can't be any mere time suit of clothes so ridiculously out of ta'kine'- he went wasting on, pettishly 'Tm fashion going to be Santa Claus again tonight up H's reflections were cut short by the at the Sunday school and It s nearly half sound of his own voice It was cracked past five already" Here' Cheese It' and quavering and shockingly unpleas"Cheese what ant to the ear, high pitched and complain"Monkeying with the cash In that ing Still he recognized it as his own. It recalled the davs when he waa trying to drawer. It's heen counted and balanced You leave It alone alng tenor in the church choir. In defi- and everything If anybody was to hear you talking ance of the somewhat raucous bass voice to yourself 1(Ke that theyd think that nature had given him you we-- e said Twitchcomb 77. seHis aged self was speaking crasy, "My eyes certainly are not what they verely. been talking to myself ever e'nce 'T'e used to be They seem to see such queer this room, retorted too you came into things I I guess I've been using them 37 "Do you think Tm Twitchcomb wouldn't mind getting old not hard a bit If It wasn't for my eyes going back crazy? on me. If they keep on bothering me as "I never have heard anything so crasy much as they have the last eight or ten as a man ordering himself to stop mona ask I I'll for have to little keying with his own cash. years guess "I was nearly two hours getting that vacation fid have Taken one a good manv perplexity Quite calmlv he replaced the revolver in its accustomed niche then deliberately and somewhat casual!' back and rested his elbow on the desk, all the while regardirg h s aged self with a growing look of pltv and concern in his This was no Illusion, no trick of the vision, no dream He was not gazing at a phantom, but at a real, living breathing bodv. and that body was his own. shriveled and bent w,th age He was particularly fascinated bv ms Adam s apple He watched himself shuffle over to the counter and put on the green eve shade he noth ed how long and bony his hands were with big knuckle Joints and puffy blue veins his eve shade he had cast as de as he took up the revolver He tried to recall how his fate had looked In the mirror at lunch time -- but to save hi soul he could see on.v the reflect'on of his features as thevewere presened bv this ancient canoatuie" In some wav he knew that his aged or se f was would he on the 10th of the coming Januarv hta birthdav Pe ng distinctly of a mathematical and mind turn of he read! v calculated that he had added just fortv vears to h present age, and that he had been emploved In tne savings hank for flftv seven vears, lacking one month As he gaaed upon and sixteen davs himsftif standing at the teller window, not ten feet awav. all this dd not seem at all Incredib e in fact. It seemed qu te saun-teie- d s 77-- -- 'anv-Ivtlc- -- er - - - etmp'e-mlnde- as yurs the truth as I am you will recognise when you hear It. Ive just thought of several things Id like to know, now that I have the chance. God know-I hate to think I tn going to look like you when I m old, and be aa slovenly and by ths way, how about my teeth? Are they real or false?" Theyre all my own, and they're mighty good ones. If I do asy so mjself. Comes of never spending any money oaf candy and that sort of thing. Well, that a to be thankful for. You seem something to be enough for a man nearing e.ghty. healthy How do you account for it? 1 vo never had a chance to be unhealthy. I ou cant be In bad health unless you've got the tune to experiment with it. Heaven knows Ive never had a day that I cou'd devote to woirying about ms health. Mv eyes bother me some, and I have headaches occasionally. I sometimes wonder If my liver is as good ss it used to be But on the whole I'm in uncommonly good health for a man ot my age "Looking hack over a stretch of forty vears, have had many misfortunes or soirows or worms old By jingo, s -- -- 1 very much l.ke another, snd a.l the years have been amazingly similar Nothtng much doing tn any of them so far as I was concerned The only excitement Iv had, so far as I can remember, la falling m love from time to time. I still keep that up. its a very simple form of amusement and doesnt cost anything There was a voung lady In here this morning that sort of took my fancy. Edward Brown s granddaughter. Doggone It- - I .know ill lie awake half an hour r more thinking about her tonight. And tha Lord knows I need all the sleep I can get during the erly part of the evening, because I've developed the habit of waking up before davlight and not being able to drop off again. Its a confounded nuisance. Seems to come with old age. Sometimes I wish I had died when I wae It would have forty or thereabouts. saved me an awful lot of time and money. In plain words, life has been Just one tiresome, uninteresting dev after another. Is that what I have to look forward to? "I could have avotded It If Td got out into the world a little more and raised Cain occasionally, lamented Twitchcomb 77 "Shut up' At least try to be respectable in your old ag " "Its the only pleasure I have these days thinking of the thousand and one disreputable things I've missed" "But If you d been up to any of the things vou speak of. you would have been discharged from the bank long , and probably would have died in the gutter " Twitchcomb 77 shook Ms head slowlv: "I see a lot of men around here every day who have lived as long as I have tn of the fun theyve had, and they arespite all respectable citizens with front pews in the church and the men who have done of pleased expression something In their youth end are not a ashamed of it. "I suppose I ought to find some consolation in the knowledge that I shall always be upright and respectable, no matter how great the temptation may be. but somehow or other what Ive heard makes life look rather drab to me, said Twitchcomb 87 "However, I guess theres not much doubt about my getting Into eo very good heaven If I'm deetlned to-bfor such a long time" Umph' grunted Twitchcomb 77, somewhat coarsely. And ail I have to look forward to is a continuation of this stupid daily grind, this utterly commonplace- "You wil! be doing Just brhat Y ra doing now far the next fortv years. "And I am never going to have a wife? "No. , "No one to love me? "Alas, no. Just living that's all? "Thats all "But not tn the same boarding bouse, with the same unchangeable food, the same uninteresting people The same boarding house, and the same food but vou will get so used to the food you wont mind it in the least, five seen three successive landladies over there during the last forty years, and while they were all different for a brief period they all turned out to be exactly the seme before they'd been at It for a vear. Boarding house keepers may die, but they never change. I have occup ed the same aeat at the earns table the one in the corner facing the kitchen ever since I went there to live vears ago All of the uninteresting people J used to know have died or moved away, but their places have been taken by other uninteresting people. The ones I waa really Interested In were not interested tn me, and got married right under mv nose, so to speak Some of them are grandmothers now. Yes, it is e long e long, fine since I was thlrtv-eeve- n long time. I can t believe I ever 'looked like you. You seemed to have stepped right out of the family photograph album. all slicked up to have your picture taken, legs crossed Just as they are now, leaning against, a painted garden wall, and with the funniest necktie and collar and O, my Lord! Did J ever look like sj-o- well-to-d- o, fifty-eev- that Twitchcomb 87. huffily: "Well, God me from ever looking like you. And vou croak. Get out' Im sick of hearing Twitchcomb 77- - "Get out yourself Im sick of looking st you You remind ms of what I used to be a dodgasted fool. Get out' I've got to lock up for the night. ' Twitchcomb IT, tn e verv faint voice: I suppose fill have to look Ilk that some dav And I suppose Ill have to be locking up this Infernal bank every night for the next forty years. Lord' What a thing to look forward' to' Voxcomb' You are Twitchcomb 77 to blame for what I em today, you and " your pusillanimous Tv.tchcomb 37. moving rabidly toward the hall door, his voice muffled ahd infill be late for supper and the distinctChristmas tree if I don t hurry up He strode brlsklv Into the dim hallway. Twitchcomb 77 followed the retreating figure with his squinting, eves He distinctly saw It stop before the hat rack. Then it slowly faded from The flattened, empty ulster sudv'ew denly filled out, as with e human bodv, the bottoms of a neatly pressed pair of trouser legs took form, and. strangest of all, a face appeared be ow the hat a face on which an expression of utter disgust was pla nlv vlslb.e 77 leaned forward and Tw'tchcomb peered for a long time at himself hs he was at 37. then, with a aigh and a shake or hi aged head. Tie removed rh blotter-fr- om the ledger, placed it carefully in its accustomed place, and closed the cumbersome book. He glanced at the clock, at the waste paper basket, at the transom over the door to the director' room, end then, satisfied that everything was as it ehduld be, went shuffling down the little hallway to the rack where his coat end hat and muffler were hanging. First, with many grunts and tw.nges. he got Into his overshoes; then he wrapped hia muffler about his scraggy neck and strugJamming gled Into the weighty ulster hia worn old brown derby down almost to his outstanding ears for tha wind waa blowing rats and dogs out there in the gustv street he passed through the counting-rooInto the customers' lobby, switched off the electric lights all sxceDt the one that burned ell night as a warning to evildoers and went out into the snowstorm. As he paused on the upper to try the locked door several times step as he had don for more than half a century before setting out for hia boarding house a little more than two blocke awav. he said to h'melf for. be It known he was tn the hahlt of ta'klng to hirrself tn hia old age he said to himself: T wonder how we ever got along without electric light when I was a young man (Copy right, ! ??. fv George- Barr Me de-I'v- er -- near-sight- m - ' Cutibetn.) I I , a |