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Show TITK SALT LAKFt TRIBUNE, SUNDAY MORNING, .r" APRIL CIRCUS STUFF Illustrated by Mtnry ftstaigH. himself to MAR GILL unlucky, but that ta hot tn I I truth. II ia net unlucky 1 all. because what happens t 0. GUI la not th blind, chano tnova ment of fur lull or tb accidental grop-l- n of fata. Not ilia raauitd, astounding a they are, tom. sniirsty from th lubrication of a hand which la totally bald on lh Interior aid, and I ran prove It with a row of endless drrb J " example. Aa a mlrsmitoualy alftad aplllrr of lh x well. known been, bungler Iraordirtary. OTItar S'amla and fathead plenipotentiary, absolutely akt, hr -- himself and with-- . out a peer. Hi ahllilltiaa la that par tinnier Una are hla own and amount to a atranao sift. II a genius, and ho. body can deny It, and, Jiat Ur prova It, taka that Iona, dry, and discouraging eerie of Incident up In th ban irlmaa whan wa triad to. blow tha trreatn valley, - of llfo Into th Jleraal B. Tuft Atara moth circus. Noborly In thla world eould hava dona what Omar did, prectaaly aa b did It, and when h did II. Our association. Up that ctrcua waa a ourioua sort of accident, and whit moat am idem produce (aw scars and ahraalona, wa tint reeled to aacaiw unbehind scathed from thla on. Ieavn lia th remain of th Tuft enterprtea. IV 1 do remember our Initial meeting with Bernal 1. Tuft and hi marry men. merry, alt her, They weren't no "Vhen wa flrxl encountered them, because nobody workI In fur that rircue had been aid In lea a tender for Bln week, and th moaning waa audible. Jt waa In th rare and bouncing month of Jun. and In th linn Jdmaa valley th month of a mild December IB Jnn reeem hie altch, threo daehee, period. d Vallei tom lb down that 1 Frank . Condon By ILLUSTRATED HENRY RALEIGH IJY while we were leaning Mkinsl a fence, Harmony auddenly enjoying aureelvaa. exclaimed ' if that ala t Bernal , lulu, I m a goat, 11 awaa me eight hundred dollar " I followed hi pointing finger toward th little chap who wa cumin. I ma waa a with whit eyeex brow. and a bald aa a Chin Brum the appearance of thla circua," an he own "If h remarked Omar, It, Ing to keep on oalng you the eight hundred. To m thi look Ilk a elrcua that baan't much tu live for. be 1 bar waa truth In tha dense tb caravan had a woefteeone, at air that limb sled I reputable, worn-ou- t etat far removed from blah prceicrjlv Th Wagons wr bat ter ail, lh paint waa Chipped eft, and th - home arte rlhety The- w hole thing Inoaed and underfed Ilk ntn dollar in Confederal money end th performer. sitting up thr and th truce, for baksar stoically waiting appeared unbeppr, halplea and Knpeirn All In all, It waa tha moat deplorable looking rtrcua 1 have ever awea, and very weather beaten, as though somebody bad left It out in tha bath yard all winter "ile' owed me eight hundred dollar tine that time In Bulla," Harmony continued. "When I Mw'httrt taut, he eatd ha waa going t pay ma th following weak. Let go ever and, sea about H. nrrun to h totted thla elrcua and help ma "lad; and gentlemen," "Bernal - manage when th aster looked up "Grsat," retorted Omar. "I would also' Tufta bo longer own or operate thi kdmlr to own th National tlty bank circua 1 am th haw boss 1J you alien red-fac- e obrtton, It waa a discouraging moment o so g any man about an old debt. Th wagon waa deep la th ditch, in ware hare tumbled end there. M trunk Bernal B. Tuft waa rapidly approaching apoplexy. Rarely have 1 heard private rttlaen profan th midday air with such fluency. When w approached him, ha etnpped wiping hla rnotnt exon, glared at Harmony and me, and than alerted in where he left off Harmony "Hello, Bernal, began. "How a th circus tmalnsse?" wo found tho aephalt bubbling gently Mr. Tufta stared more closely at our lit th noonday aun, with th mercury Then hi rad and steamy countrvln to make out It wa a red knlt- -' leader. relaxed Deelf .lii B..brlnf grm. enraw-tere- d ty n.nr. we llkawle mi pAealle,' and said. Childs," b "Harmony liar th town of Amalfi. I'al., where w tiled to pursue aecret and aclenlifie yuhl" ehook w In were troduoed. hands, They tnvealliationa Our pereonnai Included and th elrcua man returned at once to Harmony Child, leedln . atooror, myaelf. bis Job. While h swore, wa gaaad In fooled Amalfi. It around . and Omar, at th rest of th caravan. Attracted undue attention, and ram to surprise Brobably four men war tugging at th a dtettnet understanding with th chief back wheel of that ovetumed baggage of police, who waa a petulant and On th remaining vehicles me Wagon. old wolf. aat mute, motion Ire, and bored, "1 m pilin' ona hour drivers you rwlndler and behind them, spreading down th to leave town," he aald, facing tb three road, tha elrcua performer patiently of tie. "On hour. all vary languid, unconcerned walled, "Which will he Just forty minute and Inert. tha gave u a Occasionally mor than eufflclent," llarmonv anglance. swered In hla pollleet manner. ' Much calloused don t you get tha rest of your Why ohjiged, chief, and, put on your rubber hired men to help?" Harmony jiaturally when it rain. "Them?" returned Tufta in disgust, We thereupon assumed a dignified de looking at hla elrcua. wouldn t meaner and larld south on foot, fol- give a I la as of water to"They a dying fish. lowing the atata highway and having no They won't help me." not? particular domination. Eight mile from "why Amalfi wa obeerved a cloud of duat on "Because mad at me," aald lh horlaon, and whan w cam up with Tufta, aoowlln theyre at tha low creature who It w discerned a atand ctrcua had tipped th load of trunks into Th caravan at a halt. Th bageag wagon illtch. waa In the ditch, and the proprietor ot "That' too bad," aald Omar at thi th ctrcua waa telling Ita driver what b point. "W might as well glv the men In on word ot thought. burning a hand, heyT" We paueed to watch and llaten This Idea eulted Tufta, so w pitched In to them t rugate with the luggage, and and in no tlm at ail w had th wagon 11 at baa-ga- hard-bollo- one-nig- Nf bual-neo- 'r t e .a. , On th and of Here's tall wa Hire on Ita four wheal and loaded anew, while the Jaded ana sulky performer regarded us with Score Van you drive four boraeaf" Mr. Tufta Inquired. Harmony answered hat any on of U could driv horse and probably eight , twelve. Glt up on that wagon." aald Tufta. and then h chased th blundering bwerte away, and w all climbed aboard, with Tufta sitting bee.de Harmony. Th caravan Marled, and Mr. Tuft maintained an earnest conversation with Harmony all tha way Into Linda Vista, which Is th hottest place In North America. By the time w reached town It was dark, but w could hear th rlanktng of the whaela Behind ua, th growling of mala voices, and w knew th circua was with us. Now and then We overheard a snatch of Irritated conversation when th proceaalon came to a halt, and It wa plain that the cordial entente between Mr. Tufta and hi hand had Juat about reached tha breaking point. demands Old Hickory t hava studied that volume. Two hours a day for tha last three months. But I can hero the other mornln aa h do It now. Tv got tha Macintosh pads tlnto tha General Office - awing." "You!" snort Old Hickory. about 10.15, who th witherWhy. you lng woUypops ar all thoa pro- - old duffer, you couldn't swing th wa I X tender! I aint going to Ilk thla elrcua, and nobody can make me, Omar remarked a w stood bexld th trunks. Wad better start on." "Lwv It to Harmony," t auggadtad. "II and Tufta teem to b cooking something up." I presume It waa me meet peevish and pessimistic circus that ever traveled from town to town on Its own wheels. That night Harmony aald nothing, but on tb following morning, while th hand war gloomily going about tbelr preparations for th day a exhibition, our official guide, philosopher and (Hand cam over to where w war by tha cook tent "How would we ilka to go Into this buaJneaa?" h waked. "You can "Not me." eeld Omar. carry thoa telegraph poles around on your hack. If you Ilk, tout not me "It does look Ilk hard work," I admitted. "I don't mean that at alt," Hprmony continued. "1 mean, how would you Ilk EAR 11 rd moons. h told Har"Certainly t can bo. mony. "but I won t I hnsw you d drag me Into thla fool thin, somehow." "You but 11 alt right. Harmony a Jointed fishing rod; while you and t, Matt, are mor Ilka human pork barrels. H can spraddle out, of course, and use that low flat swing But you! Ha! Ha! Say, do that again. Matt. It's too funny for words" em bo T It? aay Dowd, glarin at him "Well," estys 1, there's Mr. Bllrena, TII show you how humorous It la when from tha Broadway National, to ask about been of- I get you out on our new course. I'll some aecuritiea of our that' fered them; and tho bulldin agent with play you for 19 a hole, even up." Matt, aay a Ihe renewed lease; and a clerk from your Old Let's make It twenty-fivI've '' Hickory. "If you must know, personal attorney with been a little myself " brushing up "Bah!" aay Old Hickory. "Why don't "Oh, I know all about It, saya Dowd. thov see Robert?" "Touv been taking lessons In a depart "Because he went to- Chicago last night, ment store. Huh!" , elr," say I. Precisely," admits Old Hickory. Just "Oh. yeg." nays he. "So ha did. Well, sporting department golf 1 can't spend the forenoon going over plain, every-da- y trivial details. Cant do It. Important lyaeons at 51.98 for every half hour. But Send em all off, and when lvetihy one of th best Instructors tn matters. hl p other country Yee, iir. you've done that, go to Mr. Piddle wmP- That' whet I claim this little Koee U. those Mesaba contract. Under- He knows bring me to than make a better te try stand? man with a waist measure swing "Right," says I, to No like schoolboy. a. But ka I hurries toward th waitin Jumping jack noroom I almost runs down this poddy old tions. No straddling. Just a plain, eaay the body behind the stroke. party with the pop eyes sud the Cor' swing, with Thats Nells method tlovan tan complexion, That's "Tommyrot"' says Dowd. "Oh, excuse me, Mr. Dowd," eays L wrong. Keep the body out of It, that's "Ellina tn yet?" say he. In Do it book. Idea. so the Jock's k arrived. Rajs Juat sir," says ' But I'm afraid he's rather tied UP this wtth your arms, and get the snap In with of moment at the tha wrists Impact. Dowd." morning, Mr. "Oh, that's all right," saya the Hon. You'll flub every shot, Klllfts, If you try Matt. TIB only be a minute. Got some- to get your body Into It Oh, will I?" says Old Hickory. Bay, thin very special to tell him." - And in ho goes, wlhout even troublin to knock. the new course Is to open next Saturday, . Course, a bcanless private sAe. who'd Isn't It? Well. ITL Just take jou on, Just had strict orders to bar everybody Dowd, at 55fl a hole. blinkin' "Eh?" savs Dowd, Plight have pulled something res about I don't know how many millions the then; grabbed the Hon. Mjjtthew,Dowd Hon. in-he should un f words. by the coat tells, o t said a few hasty load Matt could cash all hla holdings, hut for all that he's But I don't figure on tho payroll d Ive .heard egg. so heavy simply because Ive been with a regular and Old Hickory talk about their tha Corrugated Trust so long. Part of him matches before, but I happen to know my Job ia to know when to hunch my golf shoulders and lot things ride. Which is that the huge stakes they've always played for has been limited by Dowd to what I did then. Also Ive listened In You see, the Hon. Matt, la one of Old a dollar Nassau. when hed been struck all three ways in mixed up Hickorys cronies. They're oil kUide of deals together; from ieven-flga- find he sure did beef some About parting Investments to the Joint ownership with those three bucks. Island down In Barnegat "Fifty or nothing." say Old Hickory. bt A two-acdrive up And If youve got a bay, where they used t f go duck huntin' yW. either-oyour alcove, why should you worry? But f rheumatism 'em got the before II i on half A up or shut tip- - now. la It a go for Sat, habit. Theyre doxen different boards, and lately theyve urday?" new "Yea, It la. you hardened old gamclub a country plute helped organize with an initiation fee that makes me gasp bler, aaya Dowd "I'd hat to take that much money away from you ordinarily In of it. I think time every So who am I te block the Hon, Matt, a friendly game, but since you're so he's cocky about it Well, Ill be there. from the private office when maybe sharp toddlin in with a scheme that may mean on." eays Old Hickory. "And millions to both of 'em? Besides, It wa If 'You're I don't trim you, you conceited old somewaa over old excited the j plain boy Ill eat my niblick." thing or other. I could tell that by the duffer. must too, that the old boy talks I say, tn his wild glitter pop eyes and the puffy tt up brash enough at th time. But way he breathin. Hon. Matt has gone off grumafter the not Honest, I hardly knew whether or to break m on em when I d got the con- blin' Old Hickory aits ther starin' at a for wail couple of minutes, like he tract from Piddle, but t decides to take the -- lf hard-boile- Mammoth ctrcua needed new blood, new new seta new tents, new performers, seats, and almost new everything These until money b not could procured things wa earned, hut In th meantime that were certain change that eould to mad Imme.llatelv, and Harmony ordered them He started In a email way by appointing himself ringmaster, director general and In order to Insure managing editor sVthe door and ecxrob-greater honesfy whatever half dollars started our wav, th regular ticket seller waa removed to lh horse department, and I wa Inatalled to handle th ceah. After some thought. Harmony selected a trifling bit of wore for Omar to perform at each exhibition, th Idea being to Uven up tb regular Schedule and Inject A little pep Mr. tilll was required to put on a pair era and box II" ree brisk of under-drarounds The gentleman with whom be do thla waa to boxing was none ether than JLJorlando Hergeehelmer, th tiger tamer. At thla point It neema essential to reach bark Into the details and look over certain features of the organisation bequeathed us by th departed Tufta. When we took It under a friendly win, that circua contained Just on wild animal, if you don't count , Henri, the cook, who waa always mor or lea by natur. Thla wild animal waa a Bengal tiger, referred to aa Nero, and while I never knew much about tiger a a class, and have. In fact, avoided them, 1 could etlll e that there wa a reason for the dread In which Nero waa held toy th ctrcua employee. This Wild animal had only on friend waa Borland In the world, end that Hergoshetmer, tha , dauntless and un- w By Sewell Ford (Copyright, 1921, by th McClure Newspaper Syndicate) gam without maimin each other, and then they'll sit around the clubhouse for an hour or so rehearsin all their fluke shots and hammerin' one another on the back friendly. But I could see where this match waa to b for blood aa well as dollars. They'd been workln' lip to It for several seasons, each kldrtln himself that at last hed got a little edge on the other. They're both d old boys, too. If they hadnt been they'd never cleaned up so big id business. And while they took up this golf stunt to few year ago on the advice of their specialists and just fooled with it for a while, the next thing they knew they were going at It as serious aa ever thev tackled a big stock deal. Talk about buckin each other over high finance! Say, I've seen Old Hickory sit for an hour studying a score card and figurin' up how many holes he had the Hon. Matt down, who flubbed th most drives, and who missed th most putt. i, So I ain't surprised when he phones in later on that he wont be back for the rest of the day and that if there's any cable messages or anything of the kind hlm- - up st Bsrdeley come ia Im stiff-jawe- a chance on tricklin' In quiet. And aay! was puxzlln over something. If if I could only remember. he What do you guess fhey're debatin' so mumbles, goin' through some motion hectic? Same old thing gold! T here's the Hon. Matt., with hla feet with bis hands "If I could Eh? What belted breegea have you there, young planted wide and firm on tho Turkish rug the . and an umbrella gripped In both hands, man? ' The Mesaba contract - you wanted, demonstratin a swing shovin of him. 'em front I, in sir, says het I AelLyoJJc you .old iosjt," yes!"' Sky he. "Thats 4t At last. Got I send for But so. did them. the fact is, Moor. it for keeps. I can driv 200 yards," Terchy, Ive Juat thought of an Impoto try to little Yes, elr," says I. Bah'" says Old Hickory. "You never rtant to I conference attend. I shall practice round, eh?" "Going ought drive In your life. Matt; got a an if about I'm be and needed hour, I gone never he. will. What and whats more, you "Well, might," says for anything Urgent, you might- call me Sometimes It's Just a well to let on gives you such craxy Ideas?" Here, I'U give you the number." you're blind tn both eye, and then again Hah'" aay the Hon. Matt That up at 17 "Yes, sir,", saye "Sporting goods de- t's better to have the boss know you what Ive been keeping a aecret all winain't buffaloed so easy. In this case I ter. But I dont mind telling you now. partment?" er says yes, he, glancin' away decide that its best to put him wise that the "Why McIntosh Jock been indoor Jva using I had something on him. Makes Jt easier guilty. Instructor apparatus." How about em. ah? Ain't soma of when you want an afternoon .off. or when Humph I sneer Old Hickory. "Yes, these a batty as the director get fresh and talk of cut-ti- n maniacs a about mashle one Drivme fall. tried to last sell they ever saw of a outside padyou salaries. Also a private see de luxe, ing balls Into canvas pockets. That Anvthlng ded cell? Why, her Oil Hickory would such as I admit I am, should know alt doesnt get you anywhere. Oh, It doesnt, eh? save Dowd. "A have, had wa shot A At Aunrise for lettln' these little things. tn anybody less'n cabinet officer or a fat lot yon know abouTYock' method, you Case-lAs to rule I dont spill the confidential s, bootlegger, and yet when bis old chat to Old Hickory old hardshell f but let me tell you, but when he blows he ditches every- In next mornln lookin' shows up Ive gone Into It deep. Cleaned out golf partner Utnd of worried my billiard room 111 the top atopy of my thing and rushes off to take another and sad I thinks rnsvhS It'll Cheer him house'and Installed the whole apparatus. lesson, If I can get hla mind off the fact that up And a canvas screen Isnt all. No, elrl You'd think, too. te hear him and the he's let his work pile up on him. 1 ou must have the mlrrore, the flight in Hon. Matt slang at each other that when "How did tha swing go yesterday, air?" I dicatora. the speed registers, and the book. they got out on tha course they'd be apt says I. I to finish the argument wtth niblicks and mor babk. illustrated with the Ha slumps Into his desk chair so Especially than 100 cuts made from actual moving be carried home on stretchers. But aa that the aprings ereak. "Rotten, Ifheavy you matt-can r of fact how And of a Jocks awing. say, they get through a ftmust know, son," says he. picture Uh-hu- h. !Oh--er-- to-ca- li d -- - ot rir-rua- ln at to tK aext Sturdu ,isrib tt? hot -- re One-thirt- y. tlI..gJ.llUuUlhera Was Jimmy. JUcks. to walker end comedian, snd, beside him, Joe Lviie, a rheumatic clown, who began clowning th year General Grant entered high school. Paddy gheehaa snd 1,11a isb-ma- n wsc our trspexs pnrformars, snd ther was nothing th metier with them, except Mist Baddy a tights war In a s'sts of extreme ihlnnea. and we had no rhnnro to buy him any other Aa for Ella's spangles, and so forth, they were all right, a woman can always keep,ut.h. thine Ija repair, despite port !!, but Baddy had dismally oily and concluded that a th show was going on th rock h might sa walk lot his tights go with It. "Ysh. said Omsr reproachfully tn him, 'tmt some day you r going to wish you had new tight on. and Its to be too lat for wishing, t m goln telling yog. pddy." May Crus was th lady harwhack rider and weighed ninety-thre- e pound In her war paint. Hhe waa a sweet lit tin thing, engaged to a Sicilian grocer tn Oakland, who wrote her letters threatening to SIU her with s knife If she dldn t quit and marry him. Th trick cyclist was Henry Pgsse, 'who proved twice day that tho human mat animal can get himself oestflfd and etlll rid big. Jimmy Jinsen s Educated Heal rounded out tho flat of artistes, snd brings us down td the band, which was composed of four ruddy beer drinkers, rslaled to th German- - nation by marries a. Thv played n soar drum, to flfa, a cornet of th type, and a trombone, and thoa four sons of the Blond Beast could tak ordinary tun snd make it heard above the soughing of a monsoon. They weren't good or artistic or even unanimous players, hut they had tine compression, o and you could hear that hand thirty-twon a cloudless mile night. They didn't mind tho lack of tho but weekly envelop, they did complain tn th!r quaint, gurgling tongue ovr tn hideous scarcity of beer saloons. Then ws had a small corps of billposters. tent and wagon men, cooks and ticket sellers, and, when wa added ourselves to th list of liabilities, ther was us, or there Waa wa, if you Ilk It better. Everybody had to be fed during th period of poor cities, but all agreed to reached King City, hang on until w where we would hare to make good or follow B. P, Tufta in hla disappearing specialty. As I said. Harmony arranged the Boxing exhibition between Omar GUI and Dor-ldo Hergeaheimar because of what he considered th general paucity of genteel entertainment, snd th difficulty of dragging th performance over a eoupie Arfrl urtr left us. 8or-r-r,- "Ye-e-c- s, t 1 phon outfit and gst his ooaehln that way. You know how you II get to chewin' oi rr a proposition snd dig up foolish thought like that And then, while I'm watchln on of the lady atenogs. hammer out to record from a dictaphone tyi WlltSdm-thlS- hrillurot Jdato 4laii?iyr-ls. toys sure! sax I, snd streaks right fottoTA 1,5 Into office. the to UIL private opefB "dear out!" snort Old Hickory, lookDorian do agreed readily enough to bo ju-irf- c in' up from a lot of papers snd wavln with you, Cft.'lJowct, eo SO . O. . Omar before the sinipl country me away. "I havent time to see a soul." folk who might attend our show, but he "Hut Ive got It, Mr. Elllns," says L In s proviso of hla own. He made It put Eh?" says h. Got what?" And then I proceeds to sketch out my plain that he would have toHthrash Omar each and every show. desired to at scheme. , a victor, as became one who "Shrieking eureka!" says he, bangin emerge seem tt tamed tigers. Would fitting for his flat enthusiastic on th desk. "I behove you have found a way. And if a tiger tamer to be defeated by a little fat man who looked good deal like a you have, you agile brained young rascaaab melon? Not st all. cal, you shall hava every dollar I can pry perambulating "All right," said Harmony In reply out of Matt Dowd. I know nothing tn 11 All the U. B. G A. rules to prevent my alopt win." right, Dorlandq, 1 fix It so you In your scheme. Get Neil Roe on the Then he told Omar what would be re- phone and ask him to coma right ' down here Ceatlasad sa Pat Six "Well, the Scotchman had never heard of such a plan, of course, but after srratrhln his head b decided that It "Torchy, says old Hickory, couldn t be barred "did you put on that record?" "Mind you, Mr. Elllns," he adds, who"Yes, Hr," say I. ever does It must carry the bag, too, for "And did you wind up tha machine you're allowed to take advice during s yourself?" he asks. game only from your caddie" 1 admit that I did That's all right." Bays Old 'TH Wall, there you tore. Matt," eays Old haxe a bicycle fitted to carry Hickory. tlie dubs a Hickory. lie's my pfilciai caddie for well. Now get busy, Nell, ami don't for' this match." get to put It all In every word." But but see here," protests Dowd, " Rot-sVurra weel, often do you mean to work that?1 how sajs And by Friday afternoon he had every As often as I need advice from my thing ready snd w went up to the sport caddie, say CMd Hickory, which will Ing goods department for a tryout. It b on every shot," seemed to work like a charm and Old probably "But confound It." say Dowd, do you Hickory actually chuckles. think I can play my game against to comLet Matt Dowd haxe hi books, sajs bination of that kind? Might a well I have s full bras he, ."f prefer to buy brains, when band following you must. In the original patkage." And he around nods at ma Old Bah'" Hickory. "You may But say, you should have seen the look send back say for your precious book. If you on th face Hon Ihe Matt of we when It of if like. Is Besldest part that t cant remember for you have sens enough two hours and a half a few simple things shows up at the first te the next after- you can get just as much benefit from First he stare at me, and then Torchy machine as I can " which? Ive paid A seemingly Inferior noon. overloaded blcyt-l."But that isnt the way to swing at of humanity to teach me. No, t the specimen vv ha X make what's all those, Elllns?' he de- all," savs Dowd. sir! The moment I get away from that my shots allittle Boot oh man Im a bungling, thick- mand different." together "Paddle and equipment," OM headed duffer, slicing and topping and "More fool you," says Old Hickory. mjs Hickory, riskin' out hi driver and takin1 "Come along. Get out your brasais and committing all the sins of the game." a few practice swings. can reach the green. J mean e If Funnv, ain't it?" says I. "Huh!" says Dowd, eyeln the outfit to put you "It will be extremely sad and annoy. mine on with to mashle." like "Looks maa mounted suspicious, on Old' Ihg, Well, "If way It went, over near Hickory,goes' go out "That's too bad, Mr. Ell Ins,' sajs I, as next Monday are you going to take four milethat,ofthe plush-cth and allow Matt Dowd, with chine gun. Or of fairway sympathetic a I knew how. moving beaten his yourself pictures absurd Hon Matt growling and arguing, and Old being contraption of mirrors and to a frazzle? Which seems to turn on th woe hy- canvas me on havin turn record and fool that book knowlof pocket Hickory drant. "It's fiendish, thats what It is, "Dont worry about that," says Old every time he had a shot, to make, exto beat me. I'm afraid hes going young man," says lie. "And see here, edge, Hickory. suppose you'll admit that cept th abort ones on the to do greens. though, Torchy. And If he doe I'm Torchy, I'm going to ask you something I shallIt, never quite within my rights if I choose Couro, he missed some. Inputtin hear the last of It. You to heve spite of th m personal. You are rather a keen observ- know? Hell be as laddie?" tn Torchy the After Hon Matt f canned advice. here three times a got er and you lee a kit of me. aa much aa I suppose so," says he. to go over th details and rub It "Oh, to the novelty of the thing he didn't almost any other human being. Have week, "And under the rules," goes on Old used In. He'll offer to give me strokes. He'll so bad himself ' He had his rightin' do you noticed anything about me recently gloat over me, tell me about his con- Hickorv, he Is permitted to offer me blood up, for on thing, and he wa playin' that would indicate a sudden falling of founded method of attic Instruction, and such sdvlce as I need at any time. tha game of hla life. But Old Xllckory er my mental faculties" an infernal nuisance of himself." Thats understood, Is tt?" make was shootln 'em better than . he knew I has to grin and shake my head "Oh, of course," sajs Dowd peevish. how. ' v "Yes. sir. sajs t. "I shouldnt wonon "Hardly," says I. "What you did to der but he would. with Lets the man. I'll get game, can A you can Imagine, me and the bicycle That Is, if he play tose you tor the honor. You call. that Chicago syndicate last week struck the gam and you can't. more or Heads, machine the But and talkin you maybe me as grade A stuff Took soma rapid-fir- e can remember?" eh? Weil, you lose. My first shot. Get less attention. From attracted all part of th dome work to pull that, Ill say." that ambulance of golf rolling off come Old yours 2'No," to matches course left their says without "not Hickory, players The herd lines about his mouth corners Nell Rosa at the tee." over and see what it was all about. A my elbow. s flicker at that With Thanks, son, the which old to ?rives 1 the "What's caddies boy proceed matter, bunch of etray collected, too, and then," suggests, or reminding me of that," say he. "with hirin' him fair drive. he before wed gone moren three hole we to go around and coach make a pretty tt over the bunkerAnyway, Fifty per cent of It was luck, perhaps, whacked and thing had as Mg a gallery followin ua a If but the rest Well, I suppose I did out- you" Cant be done, saya he. "Not in a quite a distance down th middle, was a match for the club championthis guess 'em, eh? But If I can do a thing match." There's for to shoot at, ship. Dowd found some of the rules comyou something like that will you klnd'y explain, Torchy, he EUlns, grunts. scratehtn "Well." ways mittee In the crowd and put tn a vigorous ear, why In th hurtling Hebrides I lose all "seems as though there ought tomy 'ITetty fair, for you, say Old Hick-orbe some protest to them, but they decided against my wits the moment I take to golf stick ladvlike Now him. little Nice, tap. In my hand? to offer? savs Mr ElEh?" say he, starin' at me, "Yes. Torchy. " All ready? Anything "There, you old -- Oh,.. I ..expect It ain't so - bad- as toll There 'Rure'-You?- - Corn says L 'Shwfld, And by the Art I "liliigcd Didn't alcng. . says I. soothin'. This was my cue to wheel' the bicycle lina, that,' I "know of no one more cadown and note to go. rows huckleberry, six You're You don't, eh" says he "Well, I'U pable of discovering that method than cloe up behind the tee, take the water-proI was fitwhn thts the most for As me, cover off the talkin machine thats interestin' game I'd ever watched. Why give you a concrete example. From 11 you " o'clock until 12 yesterday I stood up beMr. Elllns, all 1 fastened to handlebars, and turn on the not, at fifty a throw? I got to spiilin' "Me?", say t. fore that little Scot, Nell Ross, and know about golf-----" "Say, record. And Then, as Old Hickory takes advice that warn t o the record. drove balls exactly as he told me to. "You don't need to know a shout hi stand, the tanned voice of Neil Moss "Sc, he's had two whack over there Firm grip on tho back swing, shifting the game," say he. "Simply thing suggest a burry accent snd all, starts reelin off i the tall grass," I'd tell Old Hickory, weight with the movement of the arm way for me to make Kell Ross invisible this little piece. , so why risk get tin In bad with that "Now slow on the backswlng mon. bmssle. Cant you boost the ball onto breaking the wrists at th top of th while Im playing this match." swing, and coming through! tn perfect j Oh, Is that all! say L "WeU. I'll Right knee stiff, t'p on yer toft toe Way the green with a couple ot short Irons? rhythm. Drive after drive I made. Per- J think 'it up between now and lunch up. There you are! Now And he would. Yet along toward the at the top left heel down yer feet shots. And then at 2 SO, out In the time." as Dowd made a great rally so he finto distract my with nothing Throw the club head last You got to kid em along, you know. ye coins' through open But at that he ished only eight down. out from to Into J last it Hit ye. 'the ball. That's always my line when Old Hickory Whip thoughts, forget every proceed seemed to think hed been disgraced for wail before" an thing he has told me. I bend my arms start listin' tn a a., miracle .worker. awful and up he life as though. I was chopping wood, I stand Course, I didnt see how I wa goln' to And say, hatiged if Old Hickory dont he could beput induced te write ,out that with roy feet wrong. I lunge at the bait be any help to him this time. Too bad spank the pill. There's a sharp, clean Check. The Hon. Matt never doe loosen and I get th same old hook slice that I couldnt. It he lost this match the crack and the ball goes sailin' down the,Lwp on rial money very easy, but thla I've always had. There' Is that a mys- Hon. Matt wa going to be way beyond Dowds drive. But like pulling a back tooth. and course Should tn.Ve heard the Jiowt put up CHrrie tery, or is tt an Indication that I'm on with thi notion that he couldn'tpest, this, WU "III get square with"IfyouX play un- rod the . , Hon. Matt. old fool whose alleged brain has ceased less he had hie Scotch pro. to talk have to hire him old pirate." says he, to function? Into It Old. Hickory was licked before Infernal tomfoolery Is this? "What two private secretaries to help me out." "It's by me, Mr. Elllns," says I. "I've he started. I say, now, you know you All right, Matt," savs Old Hickory, he demands. beard, though, that golf wasn't so much one with red I begun wonderin' If this Ross person can't spring to like that on me. I "But let me tell you this a game aa a disease." was small enough to be concealed In an (recognized that thing voice.- - It's Neil Ross's hair Is worth a dozen' of the ordinary Im beginning to think so myself," Oversized golf bag. Or If Mr. Elllns; And jjJju can't take professional advice kind F.h. Torchy?" saya he, sighin- - "But the humiliating couldn't be equipped with a wireless J while you're playing a match. And being so modest, I only chtfckies. , a ill e. 200-ya- tbree-rorner- Mght-rop- that Tufta' It waa plainly apparent 1 the Inner sanctum with th morning mail, the last Hah!-he snorts, chuckin three Inches of a Caaaadora Into the waste one from bis a fresh selectin' basket and And who might soma of desk humidor. re h On th waa billed as th Fuariesa, and h waa Was all of that, tsoaua boa BO Job Ms had a full sduiptnant tiger of saw laath snd rotten ttlaooaiuoa, snd h navar lost sithae for to intnut Nar waa to Iran and hungry looking beaut, with concave flanks, sutl a ouupie of hip that hooked sa if somebody bad brnkrn them and at tham back wroos t n hi upper jaw were pair of fans labeled sudden death, Snd whan h snarled, as Its did, you could see clear down Ida r,1 and Inflamed throat as tar as his third spsad forward jis ceuld bite man s lag ,.rf with one chew, and would, if given th Slightest encouragement. If you paaasd hit eags tn a rarelsa manner, he had s plajful habit of Meaning for you with his laf! paw, and during th first week Omar Wen by, loosing Intienently for a tin pall, snd Nar siappad him on snd remoxed a fit suit Of clolha without louthlng s button, omsr bled A Itt Me and declared war on Naso, and that war oo lit inusd from then on. Every tlm our Itm third burred. ant sauntered toy the Mass wssea he aiinat hit Nero with a am!!, roch or pounded th end of hi hil with to broom handle Neither of llisae attention brought lh two of tnsm lower le s warm friendship On the end of Nero s tall waa a knobby, tnishv growth, snd this hairy apex was extraordinarily tender Khan Omar learned this snstonti-- r I feet, h sot him nn Iron bar and for tb tall ennidtently, playd A Nero was tb ony rnl, JTv wild animal In tho Tuft Mamnxoth elrcua naturally h wa neensaary to Its continued eilatsm idkswlas and hence, 1 airland Inrgi ahstmar. tbs fearless snd Jo lea tamer of Junsls baas t a. we essential to our success. Harmony Perce, ved this at once sad did everythin ho could to make Ikxrlsudo s, itf bgppy on. But not Umar an , I extraordinarily to m till w reach King t.'Uy, I will pay off In full, together with a nic bonu I" cash tor ou and all." That I a brief condensation of what ha aeld, but he used up tea minute In adorning th simple statement with th o well, and flowers of rhetoric he know which I don t remember, and youldn I repeat If I did. At th and of lb speech Mr i'hlld slapped down from the canned apple and thoa asd simple and unpaid circua performer res up and gav him a snkll thecr They aaieed to truat Hi Harmony and hi two friend, and collect when the outfit reached bark pay t Ity, Kin which Is a county seat, a great oil center, and th hub of a populous ami prosperous farming community. There wa money In King City, and th performers hnsw It Inder lh new manassment a number of changes occurred th moment It C Tufta faded from view. They consisted of Improvements dictated toy the new manaaer and to by everyone, except Umar, th human porcupin and a th world flral eonsclenttou objector. When he beard what Harmony laid om for him to do h roared Its a wounded flfMWUWMWllWYYwVlVllVlVyiftViVTTllYl OTtCHY. . a hairy apaa TORCHY PLOTS A 4' t "W a can have this etreu If wa will taka It," Harmony want on. I v been talking thing over with Tufta, and be re. alia that eight hundred diatinctiy it w aay u word,, thi etreu la our, lock, stock and barrel "You mean ha want to glv ua hi cirIf he does, ther a cus" Omar asked matter with It " something the "Thera la " agreed our boss. It' on th Vera of yum Nobody baa been paid for week Juat beating the They r sheriff over each county line T he hands ar aolng to quit. But It worth Sight hundred dollars " "Komstimaa, ' Omar remarhed, "your business sens la fin, and other lima It gets Ilka it la nw "It a (hi way, ' Harmony aald, ad dressing hlmaelt to ma. "At the piaaent tlm this outfit la al.la tu tea In enough cash to buy food, and no mor Th mi mediate lawklnse are in dry. spars no country, with population, and Tuft la at th and of his rope. H h goes on, h gooa bust, if b turn th show over to ua, w may, by a miracle, pull it through. If w can reach King City, aver mm will b lovely, - After King VUy, w to make of monoy ' ought ' AII of which,"plenty said Omar, ' sound aa Interesting to me a the reading mailer on a bog car. What I want 1 to back to Ban Francisco and bav my hair cut i la but' "Georg," persisted tb boss, Ignor"bhall w ing our private wet blanket, taka over Tufta a Mammoth clrcuar I 'Bhlr enough," answered. "It s up to TH do what I can " you. Harmony. "Bo will 1. for that matter. Umar put In. "Only It looks to m Hka trying to rwaru a dead cat out ot a marsh. What good la HT a a a Thus w crashed Into th circua at Linda. Vista and that same night, after turning over the show nv it. tniifts. Mr. Bernal Tufta got himself anjojabiy Intoxicated and started for Beattie, A where ho claimed to have a homo to be lifted. Ho seemed great load heaved a deep end alcoholic sigh and boarded th train. com through all right, , "If you boy ha said In farewell. lemma know," can gat along with them "Maybe you hangnail. If you make any money, you re welcome to It." After supper that evening Harmony walked Into the rook tent. Interrupted th hum of vanishing soup, stood on a box of canned apples, and mad Ui hand a speech. As I have often aald, thla her Harla on of th moat gifted mony Child word architects 1 ever knew. Besides having a pleasing way with him and a friendly grin that makes people want to trust him, our comrade and chief has an uncanny power of Unking together a lot ot ordinary words, and making Ui result sound Ilk somebody begging you to take a thousand dollars of thslr monoy and spend It on your family. In other words. Harmony Is a , natural born pleader, and It ha had been born a lawyer no railroad would ever win Ita case against a poor widow woman. -- d Y .10, 1921. ut 'r t y. tin-hor- of ak ts f |