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Show pjiCy" 1: The Daily Herald A GD ,3 Thursday, February 11, 1993 takes heart to celebrate Valentine's Day It Researchers pursue that loving By ED HAYES Orlando Sentinel Over quite some years now I've been waiting to use this line: Yes, Virginia, there was a St. Valentine. That's it. On the eve of another Valentine's Day, I'm ready to concede, you see. that no little girl named Virginia feeling through chemistry, culture By NANCY nor anyone Knight-Ridd- named anything else is ever going to write to me, asking for confirmation as to the reality of jolly St. Val. True, Valentine's Day does not pack the emotional sock of Christmas, spiritually or commercially, but it's not an unholy day of obligation when you have to spiral into debt to get your point across, either. Yet the day has been known historically to fulfill or break just as many hearts. r in the sixth I remember a time blown a hasn't if grade, my memory when I longed to get a card fuse from a girl named Marilyn. It never came. Heartbroken, I limped home that day. They talk about today's young folks being so sophisticated, so maybe the class valentine box has become a thing of the past. Aw, I hope not. It's a lot more important than some of the frank facts being forged into their minds. Newspapers er Love, we've heard, "is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise." It's "a disease which fills you with a desire to be desired." Or it's just "a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everyone else." Well, yes, love may be those things. But it's also a mix of culture and chemistry, forged in the same evolutionary crucible that shaped the way we look. Let poets blather on about aching hearts and dizzy heads. Science seeks to explain love in terms of neurochemicals, cross-cultur- Near-univers- Of course, he didn' t simply sit down one day and dream up Valen- tine's Day, but historians have traced the tradition back to the time of his imprisonment yes, jail, of all things, and no doubt on a flock of flimsy, trumped-u- p charges. Whatever, during this time most gloomy, he managed to smuggle handwritten messages of inspiration to the outside world. Thus sprang the custom of exchanging notes; and as centuries passed, Cupid and his magic bow shot into the act. If all this isn't exactly what St. Valentine originally had in mind, I do believe he would've approved of the cry of Feb. 14: "Be my valentine!" I don't know where little Viror Marilyn, the first ginia is today but I do brunette to catch my eye think it vital that we know there was a St. Valentine. He gave us a flag to hang on the calendar, a reminder to blow kisses to those we love. It's a giving day. Bouquets are OK, candy is sweet and store-bougcards are neat, but one sheet of paper and a pencil will fill the bill. All it takes is a little heart. al Here are some facts about love By NANCY Knight-Ridde- r Newspapers lives. But being marned doesn't stop people from fooling around. According to some recent estimates, more than half of all married Americans are adulterous. A study of 66 cultures found that in 147 people had some concept of romantic love. IS STORE world. Source: "Anatomy of Love: The Natural History of Monogamy, Adultery and Divorce" by Helen E. Fisher (Norton, S22.95). let men know they're interested. First they smile and flash their eyebrows as they widen their eyes. Then they lower the eyelids, drop the head and look away shyly. Men, too, speak the same body language everywhere, thrusting out their chests, swaggering and preening to attract women, notes anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher in her recent book, "Anatomy of Love: The Natural History of Monogamy, Adultery and Divorce" (Norton, $22.95). With their exaggerated antics and clever pickup lines, men may think they're taking the lead in romance. We hate to tell them, but it just ain't so. studies show it's usually women who start encounters with the opposite sex. And biologist Dr. Tim Perper found the same thing in his studies of the American singles the subject of his bar scene 1985 book, "Sex Signals: The Biology of Love" (ISI Press, out of print). With subtle but deliberate cues smiling, making eye contact or shifting position women started of the bar pickups that Perper observed. Lacking singles bars, animals still rely on signals similar to ours, Fisher observes. Female opossums cock their heads coyly as they gaze at potential mates; albatrosses toss their heads like coeds in a convertible. Male baboons swagger, and all sorts of from cats to codfish creatures fluff or puff themselves up to Cross-cultur- u ' L'nli or :;ER I fS pZZpr'r tay for 2oxlv 'ass.. I PAY FOR rox'H hakts 3 ONLVp X 'A 0 Hte i fez .-- ; pavtor 6 omvz: ' oV.v j j 2ND FREE msr.ra ast r.rr tm f ri vn j VALLEY SALT :10c 972-876- 3 to 465-46- 1 LAKeI 2109 1 SANDY I : 1 I eg561-1436268- tin t. DETAILS ON ALL SALE ITEMS MURRAY 1211 to stite 981 -1 i misguided notion of love, they may try to merge so completely with their mate that they lose the sense of themselves. Interestingly, babies show the same three attachment styles in interactions with their mothers. Page A16) j -- x ' V CENTERVILLEl in rises nit I 6( dentine Q jV - " 125. V) - ,s II OFF V . ! a ' Robes PJ-'- ; S Lingerie Jeons K'l -- to V WEST and look for hidden meanings in every word or deed. With a ' r-- - """j SEE STORE FOR fear being hurt, disappointed or betrayed by their loved one. They may say they're in love, but they keep their emotional distance. Avoidant types almost never name their dating partner as someone they would go to for help or support. In fact, they often say they wouldn't go to anyone. "Anxious" types are so afraid of being abandoned that they cling to their partner Ill ' v GET V j.vH ZZZZj 1 BUY LOV, the "avoidant" types ON lFY0UJEED9JZZ EfptvroR 4 omyP ' name their lover. Another 25 percent ll jlwv doisg JgEB5 E ji for short) xr" j QNlY depended upon, says Dr. Richard Clubb of the University of Arkansas. When asked who, other than their parents, they would turn to in trouble, people in this group usually " 1 v PAYF0R The "secure" group some 60 percent of those studied are comfortable with intimacy and don't mind depending on a partner or being Institute suggest. It's the same chemical that gives skydivers a and probably rush during free-facontributes to excitement in all sorts of situations. Over time, infatuation wanes, either because PEA levels drop or because the brain becomes so accustomed to high levels of the chemical that it no longer responds, speculates psychiatrist Dr. Michael Liebowitz, who did the experiments. But that's not the end of love and its fuzzy feelings. As lovers move beyond infatuation to deeper attachment, the PEA thrill is replaced by a mellow sense of security and comfort. Liebowitz believes this second phase of love triggers the release of natural opiates called endorphins, which produce serene feelings. And when deeply devoted lovers part, they suffer withdrawal as real as the pangs a smoker or 6ti 5 yv What makes for success in love? Lots of things, but one key may be how well a person forms attachments. Psychologists identify three attachment styles that people show in the early stages of love. flooding the brain, experiments at the New York State Psychiatric (See Newspapers Knight-Ridd- nounced ! 3 ROSS-FLANIGA- N WAREHOUSE AND LEVOLOR F,CK LP 23RDS OF TnE COST IS YOU NEED By NANCY ht ! flF How is one lucky in love? nn mum LEVOLOR fCXSt r-ri- LET WALLPAPER al two-thir- WALLPAPER WAREHOUSE ww AND Yrz&r HrOT I percent of cultures around the 1 HX DOVT BAIT ASD SH1TCU FLEASE COMPARE LEVOLOR BRASD TO LEVOLOR BRAND EACH In America, 75 percent of women and 80 percent of men who divorce marry again. Only 16 percent of the 853 cultures on record expect a man to have just one wife at a time. But in the vast majority of societies in which men are permitted to have several wives at once, only five to 10 percent actually do. It's far more common for women to have just one husband at a time. That's the rule in 99.5 ROSS-FLANIGA- N Here are some love notes: More than 90 percent of the world's peoples kiss. Throughout the world, many more people marry than stay single. In America, more than 90 percent of men and women are married at some time during their ht AVAILABLE dream-bp- at Throughout childhood, all the appealing and disgusting traits of other people tumble around in the child's subconscious the exotic odor of mom's nail polish, the revolting table manners of a crude cousin. What pops out around adolescence is a sort of mental field guide to the ideal lover, complete with details of looks, scents and temperament. That, we suppose, explains or tube tops or why tattoos turn some Tangee lipstick but turn other stomachs, pie's people on. Love maps may be eclectic and wildly individual, but when it love-relate- attained sainthood. I makes another person a instead of a dud. exaggerate their bulk. These common courtship threads woven through human societies and the animal kingdom strongly hint that biology plays a big role in romance. Indeed, some scientists say evolutionary theory explains why romantic love exists at all. Think of it as nature's antidote to the stand. Love, the idea goes, is nature's way of getting sexual partners to stay together long enough to produce and care for a child, they say. Just like other adaptive behavior, romantic love promotes reproduction and survival, so any genes that contribute to that lovin' feeling are likely to be passed on from generation to generation. That's amore, a la biology. How do chemists look at love? The giddy, goofy, euphoric feelings of infatuation may result from a natural amphetamine called phenylethylamine (proone-nig- selec- that science is robbing romance of its zing? Fear not. With Valentine's Day approaching, we made a d requick survey of search in psychology, biology and anthropology, and found no shortage of sexy topics, such as: patterns of flirting and courtship across human societies. The role of body chemistry in attraction and true love. A notion that our patterns of marriage and even adultery and divorce are influ- enced heavily by our evolutionary history. mild-manner- dt "Chemistry dictates how people feel as they love. But culture determines whom, when and where they love." Author Dr. Helen Fisher "Zzzzzz," you say? You fear roaming the great metropolis of Rome around 250 A.D. In an odd era of high romance, he endured and comes to courtship, everyone seems to follow the same unwritten rules. By secretly filming flirting behavior in Samoa, Papua New Guinea, France, Japan, parts of Africa and Amazonia, German ethologist Irenaus discovered that women around the world use the same signals to al comparisons and natural tion. As for facts on Valentine, a deman was he, cent, DECORATISG SERVICE But back to the basics of love. Lovers may think it starts with a flirty wink or smile, but that indefinable something that makes one person notice another begins long before the first sideways glance. As early as age 5, children begin to create what psychologist Dr. John Money calls a love map a mental template of what ROSS-FLANIGA- N OCDEN nti nciic in f Mount 'lot no . HON PROVO HANDY s'u j, t POOR COPY I 00 AI no tm lc II 00 tUNOAV (10 TO F"ir"i uuuuu 45 East Center, Provo, Utah i 00 SATURDAY TO feminujuc""" I 00 373-333- 8 : |