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Show Family Weekly October 26, m9 Why Men Revolt Middle-Ag- e By SAMUEL G. KLING While riots plague our campuses, a different kind of revolt also goes on the revolt of the middle-ag- e man. You don't hear much noise about this rebellion, nor does it provoke shocking newspaper headlines. But the effects are as insidious as any campus unrest. For example, a pharmacist I had for years recently faced me across the desk in my office. There were dark circles under Fred's eyes, and his hairline was receding. He seemed tired and worn as he slumped deep into the chair. "Look," he said wearily, "I want a divorce. I'm 52, and I've had it. Up to here. I have children and grandchildren, and frankly I'm fed up. I want out." "Bu; why?" I asked. "Why now?" "I'll tell you why!" Fred replied. "As you know, I run a drugstore. For 15 years I've asked my wife to close early so we could have a decent home life. And for 15 years she has obstinately refused. "We don't have much of a sex life, end we don't have much of a social life. It's work, work, and more work. My wife seems to have some sort of compulsion about accumulating money. If I leave the store at 10 pan., she keeps open until midnight. Nothing I do or say seems to make very much difference. "About nine months ago I met a young divorcee in my store my wife happened to be out at the time who seems to have everything my wife doesn't. This girl has charm, personality, good looks. Most of all, she understands me. As a matter of fact, we've been having an affair for the past few months. "She's the most important and exciting thing that's ever happened to me. As soon as I can get a divorce, I want to marry her and make a fresh start. Perhaps then I'll find some sort of happiness." When I asked Fred why he didn't assert his masculinity and lock up the store himself, he could give no satisfactory explanation except that it would upset his wife. known 6 Family Weekly, October 26, 1969 Author of "The Complete Guide to Divorce" Then when I said there was the possibility that he didn't want to close early either and merely wanted a scapegoat and that he, too, wanted to accumulate money, Fred heatedly protested About the young divorcee who was going to bring him such happiness, I said that when a man and woman are having ai affair, both are on their best behavior. And there's a natural letdown that inevitably comes with marriage. I asked, "that "Isn't it you've been flattered by the attention of a younger woman, about whom you actually know very little, including the real reasons which led to the true' ' of her marriage?" Fred grudgingly admitted that perhaps I had a point "And isn't is also true," I persisted, "that because you're getting older and think life is passing you by that break-u- p you vant another fling, hoping to find the paradise you think has eluded you through the years? "Not only that, you don't have any grounds for a divorce at all. It's your wife who could divorce you because you're creating the grounds by being unfaithful." Fortunately, I was able to persuade Fred to see a psychiatrist who helped him bridge the gap between illusion and reality. There are many reasons why middle-age men revolt. For example, dissatisfaction or failure in work. A case in point was baker who had Harvey, a learned his trade as a mess sergeant in the Army. For a number of years he had his own shop, putting in long hours. Harvey was an man. He gave full value for every dollar spent in his shop. But when the neighborhood began to deteriorate, he simply could not adapt to changing conditions. His sales fell off sharply, and within two ears he was forced to sell at a loss. After a few months Harvey opened another shop in a high-reshopping center, not far from a competitor. Once again, he could not meet the competition and was forced into bankruptcy. A failure in business, Harvey tried to prove he was a success with women. One affair followed another until first-cla- ss easy-goin- good-nature- a, g, d nt his humiliated, outraged wife finally divorce:! him. Then there was Al, a stereotype of busig the nessman who had made it on his own. He was small of stature and had been night-clu- b a small-tim-e singer with an ordinary voice. During one of his singing engagements, he had been attracted to a fast-talkin- g, hard-drivin- striking blonde whose intelligence was limited. It was love at first sight, followed by a whirlwind courtship, marriage, and two lively youngsters. Realizing he could never reach the top with his limited talent, Al in- vested his accumulated savings in the stock market, having read a great deal about securities and investments. He bought into growth companies |