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Show 1 1 Should a mother go to work? If she does, she's placing a premium on material values, risking her children's security, giving them responsibility beyond their years. By supper she'U be as cross as the three bears. If she stays home, her children will grow dependent, use her as a chauffeur and doormat Out of sheer boredom she will wind up a clubwoman and worry about eveiyone's children except her own I Should father help around th house? If he does, his children may get a fuzzy picture of the male role, and they will lack a forceful figure to look up to. If he doesn't, he's a Victorian hangover, in an era of partnership marriage, and his family will miss his camaraderie and a feeling of family togetherness. Will your child go to college? Are you sure he should, or is it because you feel this is the thing to do, the way to a better job or a brighter marriage? If he doesn't get se there and should, it won't be of a shortage of scholarships. You didn't plan ahead or pay attenads to tion to the make his future secure. If he should and could go but doesn't, it's Father follow? be-cau- life-insura- nce or Mother who failed to motivate him properly. If Johnny fails to pass a grade, business, or tizzies in arriage, the fault, my friends, lies Johnny's seniors, not in his stars. t's so convenient to have a well- added progenitor who Can carry the burden of shortcomings, ease guilts, and shoulder faults. "Poor Joe," a neighbor's wife said to me, "how he'd love to be a whiz. But his father robbed him of the chance. Joe's dad sent him to camp, prep school, and college, so he missed out on those years when fathers teach boys these things." I'm reminded, of my mother's words when I was about to marry and became upset because I couldn't Hops m do-it-your- self cook. Mother laughed, "Sarah, I've always known you could read, and the world is full of cookbooks." What a wise woman she was! person on earth to ' deny the importance of parents in the life of a child. But sometimes the cocksure experts speak up too often, and the poor parent becomes a scapegoat for all the ills of the world. If you have I'm the last ulcers, for instance, it's easy to pinpoint your trouble. Maybe you're compensating for a lack of mothering. If you're asthmatic, your wheeze may well be rebellion to smothering. I'm not belittling the importance; of psychosomatic conditions, but I'm willing to sniffle into my own hankie once in "a while. Not long ago a skinny little boy I know looked in the mirror and said T angrily, "I could kick my Pop for skipping his cereal when he was a kid!" Bright boy he is, and he's learned enough biology to know that curly hair, color blindness, and body build result from parental genes. But it's overdoing the act when you resent being a chip off the old block because your profile is less than classical, your stance less than heroic. It's too bad that the prejudice against parents runs so high in so many quarters. The disease is contagious, I think. Each time a judge or an educator blames the faults of the nation on the parents, the children happily take up the chorus. I think this encourages young people to listen less, act more defiant, and look for trouble. After all, the authorities say the fault lies with their famines. This attitude puts the parent on the spot. He knows he's damned if he does, cursed if he doesn't. He has a feeling of helplessness and confusion, a sense that whatever he attempts will be criticized by someone. : latter-4aI wisdom realize y In my that 99 out of 100 parents jare deeply conscientious. Jhey spend about 20 years on each child, happily giving of themselves, their resourcesr their time and talent. All they ask in return is that the recipient of their efforts will become a contented and honorable member of adult society. As I think about my parents the wounds they bandaged, the pennies they saved, the love they lavished I realize how hard a job they've had. Now that I'm a parent myself, I understand so much more than I did when I was growing up. I worry sometimes 'that I won't do this job well. It seems that the doctors and lawyers and judges are talking directly to mewanring me of the future. But now I know my parents will say, "Don't be intimidated by the experts. Think for yourself and do what you feel is right. After all, that's all we did." PARENT . i' 1,1 i Society calls parents delinquent for what they fail to do, but seldom gives them credit for many ,things they don't fail to do, such as filling children's lives with moments of happy laughter. Many parents go beyond merely fulfilling ordinary parental responsibility ardently overseeing their children's proper development, instead of just letting them grow. Kin ir 'Sri , I What child hasn't found comfort in mother's arms? Family Weekly, May 18, 1954 .5 |