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Show The Daily Utah Chronicle - Page Friday, February 15. 1991 Twelve HE Back to Yugoslavia-again? horror A flick called Joe Bob Playroom just came out, and it's the fifth movie where a bunch of Americans go to an abandoned monastery in Yugoslavia to find out what's Briggs Drive-i- inside. Listen to me: found the same thing and either dead vampires with saved a lot of TWA airfares. It's teeth, or it's or it's devil priestesses from lost continents, but no matter what it is, the stupid Americans are gonna go inside the monastery, or the castle, or the cave, and get eaten by weirdbeard East Belgrade. d don't know when this happened, but evidently Chief I s Movie Commisar of Yugoslavia decided that Dracula didn't really come from Romania. He came from Yugoslavia (so they got all the Dracula business), then he decided that all that King Tut business was European Communist They eat reporters. In the eat archeologists. They ghost-monster- s. Howling V and Yugoslavia was the place that ' wrong, apparently they ate a whole lot 1Jn had the really great Egyptian tombs (and so they got all the Egypt movies), and the next thing you know they're sending Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello to Yugoslavia to make beach movies, in order to take advantage of the famous Yugoslavia extra. of really bad character actors. But you would think these people would wise up. In the movies, its safer to go to Baghdad then to go to right out to Forest Lawn and boy-king- of Grapevine, TX There are dead people inside. You could have gone dead Egyptian Movie Critic We know what's inside. German-shepher- n up 1: v. f5? This time it's archaeology stuff. Christopher McDonald takes his girlfriend over to Yugoslavia to find out what his father was looking for 20 years when whoops! the whole family was suddenly murdered by a maniac with a ago pickaxe. Chris has been having nightmares ever since, and it kinda bothers him when he remembered the bloody bodies of his family scattered throughout the tomb of the evil Elok. torturer, dead boy-kin- g When the four intrepid Yuppies arrive, the tension mounts: Does Elok live? Does Elok have a pickaxe? Will any members of the cast rip off their clothes and start making the sign of the twin-humpe- alligator gar in d a musty funeral chamber? Here's a hint: it's an "ancient Slavic demon." to been Oh, you've Yugoslavia before? Of course they do. "Gidget Goes to Belgrade, Loses Several Body Parts." Two breasts. Nine dead bodies. One undead body. One rat. One Yugoslavian loony bin. Ax through the hand. Supporting actress cut in half. Guy impaled in a pit of metal spikes. Heads roll. Medieval dead bloody buzzsaw Fu. Pickaxe Fu. Janine the pillows, and snuggling up in a cool blanket with my favorite glass of ice water placed conveniently, within arms reach, on the coffee Chronicle Asst. Entertainment Editor table. The thin black rectangle in my hand gives me complete control. I am the projectionist, the audience and the Siskel and Ebert of my living room. I feel like Captain Picard on the starship Enterprise. To what extent is this experience different from watching a movie inside a theater? Well, the smells are certainly more interesting inside a theater, but I can't press "pause" if I need to pee. The volume is not under my own control, but, no doubt, it is in Dolby Stereo. And chances are, I'm on a date. (The date part is usually the worst part of the theater experience.) I saw Young Guns in the theater, on a date, surrounded by strangers, and in Dolby Stereo a few years ago, and I liked it. I liked it so much I "bought it and watched it on my VCR at home. I have seen it four times since. Damn good flick. Personally I prefer my VCR. It's nice to "go out" and see a movie drive-in- s are especially fun and catch a flick when it first comes out. The big screen adds to visual and audio intensity. But the seats squeak and aren't nearly as comfortable as my personal basement screening room. At home I can hit "rewind" and in-ho- watch a particularly interesting scene over again. (The scene in American Werewolf in London when the man turns into the werewolf is a fabulous special effect to watch over and over.) If I miss a as the little obnoxious boy-kin- g ghost, for saying "I've always loved Jamie Rose, as the bimbo girlfriend, for saying "Is he going to pound all day? I'm trying to meditate!" and for making a Geraldo Rivera joke; and Vincent Schiavelli, as the lunatic who supposedly killed McDonald's parents 20 years "Last ago, for saying stop Hell" and "I've always wondered can you sever hide-and-shriek- CAM. Xm Qi somebody's neck with three shots?" Proof that the Yugoslavians need to improve their diets. From Playroom. Two and a half stars. Joe Bob says check it out. 1991 Creators Syndicate, Inc. J.B.'s advice for the hopeless Dear Joe Bob, we're not shakin', rattlin', and rollin' (and even when we We here in Santa Cruz, Calif., we listen to the Pig (KPIG) where we hear your Drive-I- n Movie and Video Tape review. My question is this: how old are) are you? If you lived about the time of Jerry Lee Lewis and were a DJ then, how old are you now? Are you approaching 70? If so, how the hell do you stay so spunky? you take what Ron Reagan takes to keep his hair so brown? And if so, does it give you a buzz? Are you soon to become the Dick Clark of the Country Do World? Please do tell. Thanks, Matthew Cholestrol Santa Cruz, Calif. Dear Matt: I'm 98. My secret: I haven't had sex since 1957. Dear Joe Bob: By the way, do you like to drink Scotch? Hopelessly yours, Timothy J. Clow Dallas, Tex Dear Tim: Dewars-and-Diet-Dr.-Pepp- er is one of my favorite drinks. but can't afford it? Will I have to kill to get a free subscription? Love and Kisses, Mr. and Mrs. Herman Reinhold Comiso, Sicily, Italy Dear Reinholds: Absolutely not! A simple armed robbery will be sufficient. I would suggest leaving Sicily before you do it. Editor's note: foe Bob's new book The Cosmic Wisdom of (Random Briggs House), hit the shelves this week. To discuss the meaning of life with Joe Bob, or to get free junk in the mail and the s "We Are the Weird" newsletter, write P.O. Joe-Bo- b Dear JBB, Why do people in jail get your newsletter free? Is it so that they learn about all the great drive-i- n movies they miss while in jail? Does make that their punishment cruel and unusual? What if I love your newsletter, world-famou- Box 2002, Dallas, Bob's Fax: 214-368-231- 0. TX 75221. Joe line, or want to see the scene from a different perspective; i.e. lighting or camera angle, at home, with my master control box, I can do this at will. It has been said by Marshall McLuhan, noted, deceased media analyst, that technology has a direct influence on the packaging and reception of messages. This claim is very obvious, and an almost ludicrous remark. Of course technology has an a impact. Not only on the producers of movies but the directors, promoters and viewers as well. I hope moviemakers will use this technological advantage creatively. an provides for producers to opportunity increase profit. (Consider the previous claim to be my very obvious, almost ludicrous remark.) Not only can producers profit from showing movies in theaters, but from video sales as well. The really bad "B" and in some cases, "B Technology minus" movie that might not have "made it" in the theater, now has a chance to "make it" at home. With movies being available on video cassette, we have a choice to see the best, the worst, the new, or the old as many times as we like. However, let us never forget the joys of drive-i- n movies, where we can have a bad date, a nasty tasting hotdog and two flicks for the price of one. Oscar nominations reviewed Sean McBrtoe Chronicle Film Critic By M. d grasshopper;" Aron Eisenberg Chase VCR. I take my time arranging n childhood experiences like "twisting the head off a movie-viewin- g Imagine if you will, a video, from Blockbuster Video, waiting firmly inside my Academy Award nominations for Christopher McDonald as the crazed archaeologist who gets all when he remembers teary-eyeDrive-i- helps Hi-te- ch Wednesday, the 63rd annual Academy Award nominations were announced. By this weekend, everybody in America will have their opinion as to who will take Oscar home with them. So here's my report on the nominations, but you'll have to wait until March 15 for my predictions. On Oscar Night, March 25, you will find out how many of my picks were wrong. It's a good thing I'll be in the Bahamas by then. And the nominees are: For best Picture: Dances with Wolves, The Godfather Part III, Awakenings, Good Fellas and Ghost. Ghost is the surprise nomination, but then it took in enough money at the box office that it probably isn't much of a surprise after all. Avalon and Reversal of Fortune are the two films that were surprisingly omitted. For Best Actor: Robert De Niro Awakenings), Kevin Costner (Dances With Wolves), Gerard Depardieu (Cyrano de Bergerac), Richard Harris (The Field) and Jeremy Irons (Reversal of Fortune). The big surprise is Al Pacino getting snubbed for Godfather III, but Robin Williams should have been up there for Awakenings and De Niro should get another nod for Good Fellas. Bruce Davidson was given a Supporting Actor nod for Longtime Companion, but he won a Golden Globe and several critics society awards for Best Actor. For Best Actress: Kathy Bates (Misery), Anielica Huston (The Grifters), Julia Roberts (Pretty Woman), Meryl Streep (Postcards from the Edge) and Joanne Woodward (Mr. and Mrs. Bridge). Now everybody liked Pretty Woman, but did Julia Roberts really give an Oscar performance? And why are Mary McDonnell and Lorraine Bracco in the Supporting Actress category when they were obviously leads? For Best Director: Francis Ford Coppola (Godfather Part 'lII), Kevin Costner (Dances With Wolves), Stephen Frears (The Grifters)', Barbet Schroder (Reversal of Fortune) and Martin Scorsese (Good Fellas). Penny Marshall should have been nominated for Awakenings and Barry Levinson should be up there for Avalon. The problem is that there are only five spots, and all five of the nominees deserve to be on the list. For Best Supporting Actor: Bruce Davidson (Longtime Companion), Andy Garcia (Godfather Part III), Graham Green (Dances With Wolves), Al Pacino (Dick Tracy) and Joe Pesci (Good Fellas) I guess they're trying to atone for Pacino for snubbing Godfather III by nominating him for Dick Tracy. For Best Supporting Actress: Annette Bening (The Grifters), Loraine Bracco (Good Fellas), Whoopi Goldberg (Ghost), Diane Ladd (Wild at Heart) and Mary McDonnell (Dances With Wolves). Shirley MacLaine (Postcards from the Edge) and Talia Shire (Godfather III) also should have been nominated, but once again, it's a five nomination event. These are the major nominations. Dances with Wolves had twelve nominations in all, which just goes to prove what 100 million in box office revenue can do for a film that was once termed "Kevin's gate." Ditto for the nods to Pretty Woman and Ghost. But all in all, this year's nominations are fairly strong. There really aren't any films that are expected to run away with everything, but that just adds to the excitement. All I can say is that I'm so happy that Jon Bon Jovi was honored for "Blaze of Glory" from Young Guns II There is a God. |
