| OCR Text |
Show r MoNdAy, DecEMbtt ChRONicU 7, 1Q87 John Pecorelli- El even - Cheating saves time and headaches V Tis the blithering idiot and deserve to waste your time memorizing history dates. Now on to the various methods of the easy grade. OK, we all know the old trick of looking at our neighbor's test to see what he or she is writing. This is dangerous. Not only do you run the risk season to be jolly, all right (I because violent crime is on the can tell Christmas rise, as usual). But it's tougher 'n Union doughnuts to be jolly when you're faced with finals, papers, projects and God knows what else. But there are ways to counter this dreadful threat and still get decent grades. Cheating. You can call it immoral, if you wish, but by cheating, a student does not have to study, leaving the person plenty of time to contemplate the birth of Christ, goodwill, brotherhood and all that sick stuff at this magical time of the year. If that's not a good enough rationalization for you, consider this. The grading system is thought by many to be unfair the idea of making people memorize theories they can easily look up later in a book (if the need ever,, ever arises) is ludicrous. So why study this stuff? Cheat. Unless, of course, you want to be the lone moral person in an immoral world. In that case, you are a Get a Walkman. Using a small ear speaker (don't use bulky, colorful headphones, for hell's sake!) you can run the wire underneath your jacket and if you have long hair, not a millimeter of the cord can be seen. Inside your jacket is the Walkman, with a tape of answers and info a low volume. Since you at playing know what order the questions don't will be in, tiny, handheld remote contrails with reversefast forward capabilities are available from Sony. The prices are high, but a good education never comes cheap. There are quite a few other means of cheating, too. There's the classic small notes in your pockets trick, or you can scribble a few reminders (in code, of course) on your desk before the professor arrives (be sure to pick a desk that already has some writing on it, so it doesn't appear too conspicuous). You can write the answers on the bottom of your shoes and finally, the easiest, best pre-record- of being seen by the professor, but chances are the dude next to you doesn't know what's going on, either. There are better, more fulfilling ways. There's the old but useful trick of writing the answers on the palm of your hand. This is especially good for trivial bits of info, like dates, names, etc., but it's tough to get a full Schopenhauer quote there. For those long, easy to forget answers, Japanese technology can be put to good use. simulator from page nine ed "We have some special cases," Bobo said. "We have opened it up for prospective ROTCs and commercial airline pilots, who use it to practice for their tests." Training pilots is not easy work. Bobo uses a method he calls "hub and spoke," which enables students to monitor the gauges closely. The student must look from the "hub" (the attitude indicator) to the various "spokes" (the altitude, vertical speed, direction and air speed indicators). Unfortunately, with the maneuverability of jets, pilots sometimes lose their sense of direction. This state is called vertigo and can be very dangerous. If a pilot fails to trust the instruments and ignore his or her sense of direction, the results are sometimes fatal. "If the student thinks he's diving when he's really explained, "We try and make the simulator flight as realistic as possible to the cadets. I have five students that I teach on the simulator. I evaluate their flights and demonstrate maneuvers Its a very valuable tool as far as flight-trainigoes." Because the simulator is only one of two in the nation, cadets at the U. have a better chance to prove themselves in the cockpit, and therefore a better chance at receiving the prized fighter pilot flight slot. The simulator, given to the U. Air Force ROTC by Hill Air Force Base, is a replica of an actual 9 Jet. However, flying time in the simulator is not just restricted to Air Force cadets. ng T-3- I x bribe someone who already knows the subject matter into taking the test way for you. If you have to write a paper, there are a host of ways you can get that good grade without trying. You can send off to companies advertised in Rolling Stone which have tens of thousands of topics available guaranteed "A" to "B" quality or your money back. If you're short of cash and have to write your own paper, use your common sense. Make up references (no professor has the time to check them), make up quotes, fill the paper with loads of big words and drawn-ophrases (it's a lot like newswriting). Above all, fellow students, don't stress out. Kant proved that no real knowledge is possible, so why try? Higher education is big business, and the idea of actually gaining wisdom (for $600 a quarter) is a shady scam. So cheat, cheat, cheat and Santa will put a good grade in your stocking. ut climbing, he could go into a stall," Bobo explained. "Just recently a colonel was killed in a crash during Visual Flight Rules weather that is totally clear weather. He thought he was climbing." Bobo's personal goal is that his students lose no more than 50 feet when recovering from a stall. "Most of the training is just learning how to recover in a bad situation, and how to prevent its occurrence," he added. All in all, Bobo feels the Air Force flight program is a good is a good thing, considering the subject's complexity. "A lot of things are taken for granted by passengers of commercial airlines," he said. "In flying, if you make a mistake, it's your life." one-whi- ch VI U Paqe PI " " tfi iu a TMS NOTE IS LEGAL TENDER FOR ALL DEBTS, PUBLIC AKD PRIVATE lit w in : r-- - J 29403511 i Washington. DC. "m 1U MPg I l"f ft A Pi 0mm m 10 G iss ft.," M if m TiMuwrt 'tlu'ihtiimi 'Statin "J" 0 ' 1i VV HAMILTON f'f-- Cl )r rirsy 1 1 W X vis.- - ! - m r frnlMW W V -- . .. - . - .1. aMW,..... -- 1 BuyaprinterwithyoiFAtoitosh and conserve paper A Macintosh personal computer m El image writer n printer will save 'our hours of lime. Not to mention gallons of correction fluid and reams and reams of paper. 13 Available only to U of U departments and eligible faculty, staff and students with valid University ID. Offer expires December 31, 1987. Subject to product availability. And, if you buy both now, the first ream of paper you'll save will have a lovely green glow. You'll save a bundle of cash when your purchase an ImagcWritcr II printer along with your choice of a Macintosh Plus or a Macintosh SE. Either way you'll be able to turn out beautifully written and beautifully printed papers. We feel compelled to tell you, though, that a deal like this can't last forever. So it's a good idea to sec your Bookstore Computer Sales Department today. And join in the conservation movement. . UNIVERSITY BOOKSTORE UNIVERSITY M F 8:00 am 5:30 pm UTAH OF Tues. nights CAMPUS liiWHaHaWBBaiHHHHHHIIaWBiH until 7:30 December Saturdays 10:00 am 5:00 pm I- - m El- - The power to be your best. |
