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Show The Daily Utah Chronicle, Tuesday, October 15, 1985 Page Eleven Read everything you wanted to know from the one and only Sports Guru i I 1 Editor's note: O.K., O.K. Don't read this. Ignore it, if Actually, the really fascinating phenomenon is how Don in on the trill. omniscient 't zrords visdom of from many players there are in the game named Darrell. get you the one and only voice of authority. Don 't become one of the There's Darrell Evans and Darrell Johnson and Daryl knowledgeable people zzken it comes to the zrorld of sports. Motley and Darryl Strawberry and Derrel Thomas Don 't turn to Sports Guru, the and well, I could go on and on. But for easy cataloguing, master of the genre. Don't da any of these I call them "Darrell, Darryl and Daryl...'" things but suffer in your ur etched ignorance as the rest of us Who is the best player in the NFL today? are enlightened. A ddress your questions to: Sports Guru, 240 His name is Mark Malone, and since he took over in Union, University of Utah, 84112. Pittsburgh he's made fans forget about Terry Bradshaw. How will the Utcs react now that they've suffered And not only ol Terry Malone has become one of the their first defeat of the season? better QB's in the league today, just behind Marino, I don't know how would you react if your life was Elway, Montana, White, Fouts, Krieg, Kosar, Jaworski, over? If your very livelihood had been trampled and Wilson, McMahon and Norris Weesc. stomped on by an Arizona State team that was only 2 Since the networks can now broadcast in stereo, will they start producing football games in stereo now? Ooh. A really good question, yes sir. I've stayed at home into the How would if going game? you react, your only nights worrying about this one, and to tell you the truth I a for national hopes championship had been dashed? Not think it really does matter quite a bit. After all, there would be nothing better than to hear a coach cursing under his very well, I'd guess. Not very well at all. What's the matter with the San Francisco 49ers breath on the right channel of your TV while a player this year? grunts and spits blood out of his lungs on the left. Football I thought I cleared this up last week. If you'll remember in stereo? Can't wait. the actual footage of the time immediately following last What do you call that machine that they go year's Super Bowl, you'll see what I mean. As reported by around with and redo the ice with during breaks in the Pepsi company, Miami quarterback Dan Marino told the action at hockey games? San Francisco QB Joe Montana that "he'd buy" the Diet I'm not really sure. Something like the machine that Pepsi for each of them "next year." That should tell it they go around with and redo the ice with during breaks in all Joe's a cheap sucker; he doesn't want to buy the drinks two years in a row, so he'll try to louse it up by the action at hockey games. How many goals will Wayne Gretzky score this feigning a bad season for him and his team. does exist? Steve year? Why Garvey Good question but let me modify it a bit. It should be As many as are in the stars, as many as are in the waves. "does Steve Garvey exist?" I personally find it hard to As many as he wants. believe that he does. I mean, look at the guy: picture Why do baseball pitchers have bigger behinds never with a hair out of place or a perfect and the other players on the team? than swatch of dirt on his uniform. He drinks milk at dinner Pitchers get out there maybe once or twice every four or and goes to bed by 10 p.m. In today's day and age there's five days. The other guys on the team work every single no way this guy is a professional baseball player he's too game. If you did nothing but sit around and chew tobacco good, too nice, too antiseptic. and let it roll down your chin three out of every four days What kind of kids love Armour Hot Dogs? what would your behind look like? Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks. Tough all-knotri- all-helpi- r i 8 all-seein- g, ng, ng O o o 3 o o o c q o 2-- SPORTS GURU oh-so-cle- an, kids, sissy kids even kids with chicken pox. I've heard there are a lot of players with the last name 'Davis in pro baseball. How many are there? MMLMSlgdDNAL senior majoring in bicycle chain Sports Guru is a 1 6ih-yc- ar AtcAtahon's tvinning pass forBYU in repair, lie caught Jim the 1980 Holiday Bowl. MMJTOM I n- The time has come again I hntnu. It pth K Sinf t if iltm Runnin Utc sophomore Bobby Adair (44) takes one high as teammate Gale Gondrezick looks on during Utc Picture Day Monday in the SEC Practice begins for the the men's team Tuesday, a month before the preseason opener against Czechoslovakia Nov. 15. Utah Coach Lynn Archibald adds newcomers Tommy Connor, Lynn Paviccvic and Paul Van Maren to his roster for the year. The Utes will hold tryouts for further candidates Tuesday at 8:30 p.m. in HPER West 116. Interested players should plan on playing for about a half hour. At MortonThiokol, Wasatch-Operation- s are the aerospace leaders in solid propellant rocket technology. Aim for excellence In 2 worlds. Develop and produce solid propel- We micro-comput- er er .APT MAKE A SOLID CAREER CHOICE The University Bookstore is pleased to carry the IBM PC, XT, and AT computers as available systems to departments, and qualifying faculty, staff, and students. The IBM computer, a m the mdustry.is available in the following configurations: front-runn- m "7 lant rocket motors for NASA-SpacShuttle and (J.S. Defense live in and Utah's mountainous wonderlands. Want Programs, play to know more? Attend an engineering information meeting, Wednesday, October 1 6th, 5-- p.m. at the Placement Center Conference Room. We will also be interviewing December graduates on Thursday, October 17th. To schedule an appointment, contact the University Placement Service. e IBM PC Dual 525" 360KB disk drive 256KB RAM. 40KB ROM, Basic programming language. 8088 microprocessor, 3 available expansion slots, keyboard, and DOS. With monochrome monitor, monochrome display adapter, and parallel port. 6 $2000.00 OR .$2270.00 With color monitor, and color display adapter. IBM PC XT Morton Thiokol Single 5.25" 360KB disk drive, 10 MB fixed disk, 256KB RAM, 40KB ROM, Basic programming language, 8088 microprocessor, 6 available expansion slots, RS232 serial port, keyboard, and DOS. With monochrome monitor, monochrome display adapter, and parallel port Inc. Wasatch Division $3080.00 OR $3350.00 With color monitor, and color display adapter. .IBM PC AT 68 Single 5.25" 1 .2MB disk drives, 256KB RAM, 64KB ROM, key lock, Basic programming language, 80286 microprocessor, 7 available expansion slots, keyboard, and DOS. With monochrome monitor, monochrome display adapter, and parallel port STUDENT FAMILY HOUSING $3490.00 OR $3790.00 With color monitor, and color display adapter. Married or single students one, two & three bedroom IBM PC AT 99 Single 5.25" 1.2MB disk drives, 20 MB fixed disk, 512KB RAM, 64KB ROM, key lock, Basic programming and language, 80286 microprocessor, 6 available expansion slots, serialparallel adapter, serial adapter cable, keyboard, DOS. With monochrome monitor, monochrome display adapter, and parallel port. apartments available. Single student apartments available at Medical Plaza only. $4875.00 OR $5175.00 With color monitor, and color display adapter. M-- F: 8-5:- 30 Sat: For eligibility and other information Tues. nights: until 7:30 p.m. 10-- 3 UNIVERSITY BOOKSTORE UNIVERSITY UTAH OF contact LaVon Ankers at 1945 Sunnyside Avenue CAMPUS or Call jp? 581-866- 7 |
