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Show I The 'Herald A SCMPPS-CANFIELp NEWSPAPER Every Afternoon, except Saturday, and Sunday Morning . Published by the Herald CorpoVation, N. Gunnar Ragmuson, president, in the Herald Building, 50 South First West Street, Provo, Utah. Entered as second-olass matter at the postoffice in Provo, Utah, under' the act" of March 3, 1879. Gilman, Nlcoll & Ruthman, National Advertising Representatives Saji Francisco office, 525 Market street. Room 523; Chicago office, 410 North Michigan , avenue; New York office, 19 West Forty-fourth street; .Boston office, 18 ? ;-Tremont street; Detroit," Mlchigan,,offlce, 601 New Center Bldg. 1 Subscription' terms by carrier In .Utah county 50 cents the month; $2.75 for six months in advance; ; $500 the year in advance; by mall, in the county, $4.50; outside Utah county, $5.00. - R. W. GOODELL, Editor and Manager. ,, J 'X-t J. A. OWENS, Advertising Manager. . V THE TRUTH QUICK; '"Ir ' Neither this newspaper; nor any of its stockholders or, officials has any connection whatever, directly v or Indirectly, with any political party, public utility, real estate promotion or other private 4 business except the publication of newspapers devoted solely to disinterested public service. -Proclaim liberty throughout i Sm land" ': OUT OUR WAY BY WILLIAMS When a Dole Is Not a Dole ' We have, at various times, criticized the administration for refusing "doles" to working peeple and business men, while handing out huge chunks of public money to private interests. . . . We contended that a billion dollars given to bankers or one hundred million dollars handed to a European country was just as much a dole as 35 cents given to a starving man. But we -have ju3t looked up "dole", in the dictionary. The "meaning is: "A gratuity dispensed in small quantities." So y oil see, when a private interest grabs a few score millions from the tax-money you pour into the treasury Hivr o Arila Tf'a inaf coffin r a oifr. nr assist. anceb , . If a poor man ges 35 cents, according to-the president, it just wrecks his "rugged'Aniericanism." Butf if international bankers get $35,000,000, or ten times that amount, it's different,' and they preserve their "rugged Americanism." r ' pROVO-fATIONS 3 Howdy; folks! This Is National Thrift Week. Bootleggers are observing it by adding an extra cup of water to every quart. .. yr-:--.- - . '" The difference between ; being thrifty and being stingy is this:' A stingy man never . reaches for the restaurant check and the " thrifty man reaches for it, but very slowly LOCAL GIRL WENS 1IIGU 1IOKORS! i . ........ - . H ' ' ' Folks. meet M1m lizzie TJp- j .:.' stick, who has Just been pro claimed Queen of Thrift Week. that ' when she Miss v Upsttck ; la so thrttfty - had the measles, ' she tried to seU them to friends, - as pets, for 15 c'e n t s h per - 1 measle. ;- . Archaeologist ( ih Arizona have discovered ... a-1 prehistoric - skeleton with the '-rights arm permanently raised. ,- . - ' Ah, the flfst liftchhlker! . ..c..,: . r - . . J lIIStQItlCAI. NOTE V We asked IJ'l Gee Gee this morn ing if her ,fimHy q jrned any early Ameticnn aAtlqnes,; ; : ; . -Certainly, she replied haughtily. we stiu use a. battery radio set.' . . v ; Th price of cars has been reduc- d again. If, this keeps up, some day' theyll be low enough so that somebody will' pay cash for one! , ' " . : : IIOBIBR BREWS DIARY (Januarie 21) Up betimes, and to' making toast on the electrlck , toaster, but did ' burn five slices of bread thru my great lack of concentration, a pox n sach nidderllng labour! . . Thys daye did promise, In jeste, to give Bable Brew a silver shilling if she could contrive to kiss her el bow, and the fat little cherub did labour manfully to achieve this impossible im-possible taske, so that I be forced to promise her: the shilling if she would- desist, for Lord! I fear the small zany would break her arm attempting the feat! And so to the printery. ' se 4 7 " "Denver truck-driver, in collision, is buried under half, a ton of ice cream." News item.' Would you say that-this was track-driver a la mode? j ; nuuii nuuu wuixi Twinkle, twinkle, movie star, It don't matter what you are, German, Swedish, French or Mex, Just so long as you've got SEX! " . The new: president of Chile claims to spend 17 hours a day at his desk. His stenographer must be a knockout! "Business has turned the corner," cor-ner," says financier. Huh, - business has turned so mariy corners lately, it mustthlnk It's in a six-day bicycle race! - - ' - -' v ' ' According to Wall treetVeports the public is . again starting to buy stocks. ' Well, this is the season when the saps" begin 'to rise. THE CYCLE Hill Billy Occasionally I write about the "home guard" and the , hobo, and always I get some remarkable letters let-ters from hoboes. " Yes, brother, I know a hobo and. his letters; nor did I acquire my knowledge from a book. I want to give you a letter let-ter that has just come. It is from a tramp, written nrthe "jungles" of Santa Monica, Cal., on Christ-, mas day last. I print it exactly as it reads, with certain polite omissions: "Sir I have been a drfter since I was 14 years old. I am now nearly near-ly 40, with not long to go. In looking look-ing back over my life, I am perfectly per-fectly satisfied with myself, so far as-success is concerned under this system. "Had I lived the life, of a yokel, my whole 'life would have been lived without ever thinking a thought of my. own. To be able to think clearly and express myself in a sensible way, I would be willing to go barefoot and wear raga. My being unable to do that has kept me out of jail. x "This life hasliused me to form a philosophy that has got me beat up a couple of times and run out of town. It makes folks' mad to be told the truth. Imagine a slave getting hostile when a thief is placed on the same level, or a monkey mon-key at the end of a rope! I think the thief Is the more red-blooded of the two. "I maintain that it is a criminal system we live under;,, a system that will train a young child on bunk; feed its starving slaves from charity outfits; where a slave goes to market and pays money to some dealer for the privilege priv-ilege of torturing his body. Thieves are not disgraceful to such a system; sys-tem; they are an honor to it. "We stiffs are, too,, a bunch of non-thinking apes; we are weak-spincd weak-spincd bums who cannot get above bacon butts and beans. In the jungles some stiff will step out and return with the scraps from some back door or butcher , shop and then the old ego pops. , "If , conditions are mentioned, right away the stiffs get leary. The government has its ' buzzards, even in the jungles. , ?But so .' long as the settler is given his food and ' his cheap amusements he will be perfectly saUsfled.' "A few of us in the jungle like to dream about a decent system, a lis jYi III $ 1 1 j -8 MOT- A "Tr-MGr He POCVET, OR MOCl- K1 Mie BA1M. But. io OVM tO BE. AA w iM BY wc srwvicg. twc. u - Th four main topics of conver- system where man lives in peace sation during the past 38 years have been? :1884-1914 Uard times. ; 1914-191The war. 191J-1929 ProhlbiUon. 19J9- ? Hard times. The Perfect Alibiti A woman was driving the other car." .' 'V A ( - - r v V One good thing about these long evening: dresses. They- keep the flappers shoes shined. The jshow must go on! ' ART SHANNON. and ' plenty with his fetiowsrl Strange dreams for a bum yet many of us have such dreams.N So Ipng . and good luck. A DRIFTER." Brother, even tho your early demise may be unmourned and alone beside the dead -ashes of a garbage dump, yet you have lived, and thought as no village "clown" ever did or COULD. Cinematters By JUe WrtHyn Miller , HOLLYWOOD James Cagney is known as a speed maniac. He loves nothing better than dashing around traffic on two wheels, endangering the safety of traffic buttons and stop - and - go signals. He was caught speeding the other day on the Warners-First Warners-First National low where the limit is IS miles an')tiu. Relentlessly Re-lentlessly the Studio; cop drag ged him before the head of the studio police, Chief A. M. Salomon. Cagney put up a frantic plea. He excused his actions by saying that he had become so used to fast driving while making the racing picture, j?The' Crowd Roars," that he simply covUd not get down to ordinary speed. "Blueberries!" retorted Chief Salomon poliiely ' . in the manner cops have with stars, "You were speeding long' before you ever heard of that picture. Let this be a last warning. I never expect to see you in my court again!" "Well, good-bye!" said the incor rigible Jimmie. "Sorry you're resigning." re-signing." And he went out and found he had a ticket for parking too near a , studio fire-plug. Life is just as hard in one place as . in another. , Thia will show you how Hoover has progressed. Years ago Miriam Hopkins was in a benefit show for some charity in New York. The man who. applied ap-plied the dirTstreaks to her face to make her lok poverty-stricken for her part was Herbert Hoover. And now he has the whole country coun-try to work on! - Name Committees Of S. F. Kiwanis SPANISH FORK At the luncheon lunch-eon meeting of the Kiwanis club held Monday night at the Cottam cafe, Jacob Coleman, president of theProvo Kiwanis club was the speaker," taking for his subject, f"What is Kiwanis?'.' and outlining some of the leading Kiwanis ob it jectives. President"" Wallace Brockbank I presided and the following. commit tees recently appointed were ap is proved: Civic welfare Lester PSearle, Amnion Tuttle, E. P. Ship- pee: roads A. E. Money. W. H. KTolhurst, David Hodge; agriculture P. P. Thomas, Joseph Hanson, Joseph F. Skinner, J. H. Snell; program pro-gram and music, W. H. Elmer, F. J. Faux, Fred Christensen; rural and inter-club relations, David T. Lewis, Neil Dahle, M. R. Taylor; business and finance, Grant Rounds, Rulon Morgan, Charles Dixon, David Firmage; schools and underprivileged underprivi-leged child L. A. Anderson, Joseph Jo-seph E. Nelson, J. A. Brockbank, C. C. Jensen; Kiwanis education and attendance H. A. Gardner, C. M. Jacoboen, Dr. Joseph Hughes; publicity and humor, Elisha Warner, War-ner, James Anderson, J. A. Bailey; community recreation and entertainment, enter-tainment, W. T. Brockbank, Fenton Reeves, G. Ray Hales, Henry Child. The board of directors are: David T. Lewis, Charles Dixon, W. T. Brockbank, A. E. Money and F. J. Faux. : : : v. L IX i AV J . i THREE SENTENCED" Sentences of six months in the county jail were Imposed Wednes day in the city court ' on Alton Johnson, 24; Wallace Sorenson, 26; and Herbert Edwards, 20, all of Lehi, on charges of petit larceny. All but 15 days of the jail sentence was suspended by Judge Maurice Harding on condition that the de fendants pay' $15 to the railroad compan yfor the loss of coal sus tained in the theft. "SILENCE STRIKES" LOS. ANGELES, Jan. 21 (HE) "S Hence strikes" by two husbands brought about as matty divorces today. ' ' '.- Mrs. Katherine Edith Yockey testified Wallace L. Yockey did not speak to her for six months, and then left her. For two years . her husband did not say a word; ' Mrs. Etta Hamlin told the court.. Both won their decrees. 95 Phone 95 Kin Ei-ir ij-lrv . . and '.'V -- " "' are A FAMILY UP TO FIVE WILL BE ADMITTED FOR 50c v or General Admission 15$ FOR ANY SEAT - CHILDREN 10c t -. What-wakes-you-up and scts-you-up for the of -good i coffee 1 - So be Jjoy - sure it. ''good--gobrl to begin with. Txy Schilling! Several million westerners call WINGS of tke MORNING Schilling tlx one coffee roastet: " ' I " 1 ' ' ' j. J . ' in America tvfo specializes in making finej loffet' exclusively. That's the only way fine things 'are ever made. FRIDAY t - 'i SAT'DAY also , Cartoon Comedy . ? SAT. MATINEE Adults 15c. Children . 10c P. ) J. J , 1 i --t iA NED OAKLEY WRITES OL'GRAMPAW PUNKIN CORNERS. January 21 Editor Tho Evening Herald: Dear Sir an', Brother: Th' Pun-kin Pun-kin Corners Hot Stove league i.-now i.-now runnin full blast, th' boys playln over every game of th" past season, Th Hot Stove league opens th' day that Babe Ruth sends back his contract unsigned to Colonel Rup-pert, Rup-pert, and closes when th' umpire bellows "Play Bawl!" in th' .spring. Th' Hot Stove league is in session continuously, except when a member mem-ber has to stop now an' then an go get some washin' for his wife to do. If th' members of th' league spent one-half as much time study-in' study-in' th' stock market as they do th' baseball records, theyY all be billionaires. bil-lionaires. Yours truly, ' GRAM PAW NED OAK7.EY. Diitain's ships lead the world in marine speed, averaging 10.51 knots per hour per ship against the aver age of 9.39 knots from herhighest competitor- the United States. Gentleman ; bandit and true-blue mzid in . sweeping, action- filled romance . of the . Southwest. ; . Mcrcuerlto Churchill, ' t. ' Noah Dry A ..PBOVO'N.,.. FAMILY ' THEATER A The Bert" -) A" "Sotmd trT r . Town. Co-starring LEO CARILLO - MARY BRIAN NO ARr BEERY and RUSSELL GLEASON CHAPTER N0. 2 "BATTLING WITH : BUFFALO BILL" STARTING With MIDNIGHT PREVIEW SATURDAY ; .and Continuing: Sunday - Monday - Tuesday - '-; THE PICTURE ALL AMERICA IS GOING WILD OVER! The Film Exchange Demands the Following ; . V ADMISSION PRICES FOR 'TRANKENSTEIN" latmeesrlOc 20c:' Evenings and Preview Lower, Floor and Loses 35c Students 25c - Balcony 20c in TODAY & SATURDAY mm 1 . - 11 " ' ' mmm inn nu .1 m m TWO BIG FEATURES r Paramount's Latest Hit "Working Girls" With An All Star Cast PAUL LUCAS - FRANCES DEE BUDDY ROGERS - STEWART ERWIN AND The Screen's Funniest Comedy Team ILAUIIEEL (2s SSAIEEDY Aim "IBa!ffl IKItiflimEss? THE BIGGEST SHOW IN TOWN For the Money! ALSO SELECTED SHORT SUBJECTS SIJNDAY IllsX iTrt1 1 XIIXBLTSiM a,-;- - ----- |