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Show A-12 Sat/Sun/Mon/Tues, April 2-5, 2005 The Park Record PENSANDO EN USTEDE5 by Silvia Leavitt ( The Basic Knead (60 minute session) i 875 Iron Horse Drive, Suite G (Near Rite Aid & Atberisons) 1 Call 435- ^ 5-844° I t° make an appointment Open 7 days a week 1O-.OO Qtn to 9;OOpm Photo: Pieoson Craft LogftTin*er Hows Needs You Exclusive camera system allows you to be actively involved in the construction of your new home. Watch it live from Ask about our Spring 2005 Homeowner Special ww\V.ib earn systems.com iBEAM Systems, Inc. 208.344,8002 ) iPoniendo limites Sc acucrda como sus padres ic ponfan limitcs a listed y sus hermanos? Tem'a alguna duda cuando su Mam£ o Pap?S Ic dcefan, "Vuelve a las 5 de la tardc" o "Tu puedes jugar s6lo dcspu£s que hagas las tareas de la casa. ' Provablemcnte fuc ma's fa*cil poncr limites porquc habfa mds. respclo para los padres. Picnso tambfen que babi'a mucho mds micdo debido a como disciplinaban a los ninos. Los tiempos han eambiado, ustcd vive en un pafs diterente, las Icycs son diferciUcs y la cullura es diferentc. Se sienleatrapado porquc el sistcma que conocfa ya no es bueno en esle nuevo ambiente . Su nifio le dice en la cara , "No me castigues por que voy a llamar a la policfa!" Se* que lodos los recien llcgados a la USA ncccsitan ajustarsc, Necesitamos adaplarnos a algunas costumbres y reglas de la tierra para estar feliz. sin problem as con la policfa y para ayudar a nucstros nifios a llegar a ser responsablcs, y individuos respctuosos. Crco que cl primer paso en el hogar antes de poner lfmites para sus ninos es: 1) Usted y su esposo/a tienen que PLANEAR accrca de cslos limitcs. 2) Tiene que ESTAR DE ACUERDO accrca del plan y las consccucncias que van a impartir. Esto significa apoyo total. Ustcdes son un equipo educando y protegiendo a sus chiquitos. Frecuetementc los ninos se apegan al padre o mad re ma's pcrmisivo para eonscguir lo que quieren y en algunos casos aun llegan a poner a mama y papa en confronlacioncs debido a sus estratcgias. Tengan cuidado de ninos pfcaros. Tienen que estar unidos o de otro modo toda la familia puede sufrir. 3) Tengan CONSISTENCIA y si un nino rompc una regla o Ifmite, haga lo que ustcd dijo que iba a ser. El poner lfmites efectivos involucra: a) Estableccr consccuencias consistentcs cuando se rompen las reglas de la casa. Es importante que usted explique las razones de estas reglas a su hijo/a, no importa si son muy pequenitos. b) Tome en considcraci6n la edad y madurez dc su nino al poner las reglas, limtes y tareas para ayudar en la casa. C) Diga la regla en forma positive cuando sea possible. Por ejemplo, " S t a t e tus zapatos con barro afuera o en el cuarto dc la lavandcrfa," en vez de "No enlres a la casa con tus zapatos puestos." d) Examine las reglas para detcrminar cuales son justas y razonables, euales son habilos vicjos y cuales son solamcntc para su propia conveniencia. c) Espere que su nino/a pruehe las reglas. Manlenga las reglas. A medida que su hijo/a se de cuenta que eslas reglas uocambian, gradualmente no va a tartar de romper las reglas mds. f) No disfrace las reglas como prcguntas para aliviar la culpabilidad que sicnte como padre o madre mandon o mandona o la persona mala. Diga "IY>n tus juguetes en la caja de juguetes" en vez de "Te gustarfa poner tus jugueies en la caja de juguetes?" g) Deje que su hijo/a experimentc las consccuetidas naturals de i acciones cuando sea possible. Por cjcmplo, al quebrar una vcnlana despue's que iil o ella eslaban jugando a la pelota. el resullado serfa que el nino trabarara para pagar cl da no. h) Establczca algunos limites y enforcelos conslantemente. Elija reglas razonablcs y enforzablcs para miniinizar confusion. I) Reconozca que algunos lfmites y reglas pueden llevar a charlas y a acucrdos a medida que su nino/a va crcciendo. Sabemos que no cs fdcil poncr lfmites, pero si ustcd no lo hace. su nino va a ser lo que se le de~ la gana y usted se volvera loco/a. Is tienc un hijo/a dc scis 6 side aftos y 6\ o ella quiere mirar "IV lodo el dfa y toda la noche, que" es lo que puedc haccr? Primero que nada. no tenga un TV en cl cuarlo de ellos. Muchos tienen uno en su cuarto y se quedan dormidos mirando 'IV hasta las 10 o 11 de la noche. Dfgale a su nino cuanlo puede mirar dc I V al dfa, quiza*s de uno a dos horas como mdximo despues que haya hecho su larea y deber de la escuela. Quo tareas de las casa podn'a haccr a esta cdad? Quizds lcvanlar los juguclcs. hacer su cama. poner la mesa, doblarsu ropa limpia. y jugar con sus hcrmaniios mds pcqucnos.. Nccesitan saber que son parte de la familia y cada uno de ellos es importante para la fclicidad y funcionamicnto dc la familia. Tareas y lfmites ensenan responsabilidad. Buena suertc pouiendo limitcs para su familia! Recucrdc que si no disciplinamos a nuestros hijos. tarde o temprano la sociedad lo hard!. Estoy al 513-0900 o al silvia@bbbsu.org Setting limits Do you remember how your parents set limits for you and your siblings? Did you have any doubts when your mom or dad said, "Come back by 5 p.m." or "You can play only after you do your chores." Probably it was easy to set limits because there was a lot of respect for parents. I also think that there was a lot of fear because of the way parents disciplined their children. Times have changed, you live in a different country, the laws are different and the culture is different. You feel trapped because the system you knew is no longer accepted in your new environment. Your child is telling you to your face, don't you punish me because I'll call the police! I know that all newcomers to the United States need to make adjustments. We need to adapt to some of the customs and rules of the land to he happy, without any problems from the law and to help our children become responsible, respectful individuals. I believe the first steps before you start setting limits for your children are: 1) You and your spouse have TO PLAN these limits. 2) You have TO AGREE about the plan and the consequences of breaking the rules. 'ITiis means 'total support. You area-team educating and protecting your child. Often children seek the most permissive parent to gel or accomplish what they want and, in some cases, they even put mom and dad against each other because of their strategics. Beware of sneaky children. You have to be united or otherwise the whole family can suffer. 3) Be CONSISTENT and if a child breaks a rule or a limit, do what you say you were going to do, Effective limit setting involves: a) Establishing consistent consequences for breaking house rules. It is important that you explain the reasons for the rules to your child - it doesn't matter if he or she is very young, b) Take into consideration your child's age and maturity in setting up rules, limits or chores, c) Stale the rule in a positive manner whenever it is possible. For example, "Take your shoes off in the mud room." rather than "Don't come in the house with your shoes on." d) Examine your rules lo determine which ones are fair and reasonable, which ones are old habits and which are only for your own convenience, e) Expect that your child will test the rules. Hold firm to your rules. As your child realizes that these rules will not change, the testing should gradually decrease, f) Don't disguise rules as questions lo ease parental guilt about being bossy or the bad guy. Say "Put your toys in the toy box" instead of "Would you like to put your toys in the toy box?" g) Let your child experience the natural consequences of his actions when possible. For instance, breaking the window because lie or she was playing hall will result in the child working to pay for the damage, h) Establish a few limits and enforce them consistently. Choose reasonable and enforceable-rules lo minimize confusion, i) Recognize that some limits and rules will lead lo discussion and compromise as your child grows older. We know that it s not easy to enforce limits, bul if you don't do it. your child will do whatever he or she wants and you will go crazy. If you have a child who is six or seven years old and he or she wants lo watch TV all day/all night long, what should you do? First of all, don't have a TV in his or her room. Many have TVs in their rooms and they fall asleep watching 7V until 10 or 11 p.m. Tell your child the amount of TV that he or she can watch a day, maybe one or two hours maximum, after they have done their homework and chores. What kind of chores should you give your child at that age? Maybe pick up their toys, make their bed, set the table, fold their clean clothes, and play with their younger siblings. They need to know that they are part of a family and each one of them is important for the happiness and functioning of the family. Chores and limits leach them responsibility. Good luck setting limits in your family! Remember, if we don't discipline our children, sooner or later our society will. I'm at 513-0900 oalsilvia@bbbsu.org . .- ' .<-._.; Joel Fine 435-901-2171 joel@FineProperty.com JESS REID -'REAL ESTATE "Representing a community of people who love the year round outdoor and cultural life Park City offers". List your property with the maximum exposure to the greatest number of buyers. Your property is marketed instantly throughout the World, 24/7/365. David Holland 88-PAR K-CITY Specializing in Condominium Nightly Rentals > High Rental Returns K Always paid by the 20th *; of the following month > Proven Performance Celebrating 20 Years Call me for a free market analysis. Here are 3 things I'm able to provide 1. Full exposure through the Multiple Listing Service and RELO® 2. Multi-Media Advertising 3. Over 100 websites with all the information/photos about your property within 48 hours on the internet. of Property Management in Park City Locally Owned and Operated Email - davidh@davidhollands.com , Website - •www.888parkcitv.com Or Phone-435-649-1801 |